FW: Things to Ponder

[Guest guest]

>

> Things to Ponder

> It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it

> on the cost of living.

> Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

> We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

> The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

> right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

> It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,

someone

> would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

> Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humor.

> You can't have everything, where would you put it?

> Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's

> population.

> If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

> Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

> The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who

> got there first.

> Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.

> Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

> Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

> Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

> As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

> When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a

> moray!

> A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

> It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

> The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

> Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

> I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

> I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

> When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people

> that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

> Light travels faster than sound.

> This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak