Guest guest Posted January 23, 2000 Report Share Posted January 23, 2000 > > letter from a redneck mother > > . To Her Son: > Dear Son, > I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where > we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen > within twenty miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the > address because the last family that lived here took the numbers with them > for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. > This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, > pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since. Your uncle John fell in the > whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off > playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. > Speaking of dead relatives, we got a bill from the funeral home last week > and it said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up > she comes. > Oh, and three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup truck. One was > driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled > down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned. They couldn't get > the tailgate down. Not much more news than that this time. If you don't get > this letter, please let me know, and I will send you another one. > Love, Ma > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.