Guest guest Posted January 25, 2000 Report Share Posted January 25, 2000 > > > > I am not implying anything - HONEST! I just thought you would get a > > > chuckle or two. If not ... YOU ARE OLD. Just Kidding. > > > > > > YOU'RE FEELING OLD IF: > > > > > > > > 1. You and your teeth don't sleep together. > > > > > > > > 2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your > > > > socks and discover you > > > > aren't wearing any. > > > > > > > > 3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, > > > > pop and you're not eating > > > > cereal. > > > > > > > > 4. Your back goes out but you stay home > > > > > > > > 5. When you wake up looking like your driver's > > > > license picture > > > > > > > > 6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. > > > > > > > > 7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the > > > > patio. > > > > > > > > 8. When happy hour is a nap. > > > > > > > > 9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out > > > > before your money does. > > > > > > > > 10. When you say something to your kids that your > > > > mother said to you and you > > > > always hated it. > > > > > > > > 11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be > > > > reminded of your age. > > > > > > > > 12. When you step off a curb and look down again to > > > > make sure the street is > > > > still there. > > > > > > > > 13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up. > > > > > > > > 14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get > > > > tired. > > > > > > > > 15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining > > > > lasts longer. > > > > > > > > 16. Your address book has mostly names that start > > > > with Dr. > > > > > > > > 17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it > > > > going. > > > > > > > > 18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend. > > > > > > > > 19. Getting lucky means you found your car in the > > > > parking lot. > > > > > > > > 20. The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection > > > > from the sun on your > > > > bifocals. > > > > > > > > 21. The iron in your blood turns to lead in your > > > > pants. > > > > > > > > 22. It takes twice as long to look half as good. > > > > > > > > 23. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't > > > > work. > > > > > > > > 24. Your house catches fire and the first thing you > > > > grab is your Metamucil. > > > > > > > > 25. You look for your glasses for half an hour and > > > > they were on your head > > > > the whole time. > > > > > > > > 26. You get two invitations to go out on the same > > > > night and you pick the one > > > > that gets you home the earliest. > > > > > > > > 27. You sink your teeth into a steak -- and they stay > > > > there. > > > > > > > > 28. You give up all your bad habits and still don't > > > > feel good. > > > > > > > > 29. You get to the check-out line, see how long it > > > > is, and decide what you > > > > have in your cart isn't worth the wait. > > > > > > > > 30. You have more patience, but actually it's just > > > > that you don't care > > > > anymore. > > > > > > > > 31. Rocking in a rocking chair feels like a roller > > > > coaster ride. > > > > > > > > 32. You confuse having a clear conscience with a bad > > > > memory. > > > > > > > > 33. You finally get your head together and your body > > > > starts falling apart. > > > > > > > > 34. You wonder how you could be over the hill when > > > > you can't > > > > remember being on top of it! > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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