Fwd: Humor

[Guest guest]

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Letter COM:3230384 (71 lines)

Internet: DaFLAVIES (AT) aol (DOT) com

09-May-00 20:09 -0400

Basu Ghosh (das) ACBSP (Baroda - IN) [21763]

Fwd: Humor

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> Kosher Computer

>

> > While in Israel I found a great buy on a computer. It is a

> > kosher computer called a DELLSHALOM. It was selling at such a good

> > price that...well...Mine arrived today.

> > If you or a friend are considering a kosher computer, you

> > should know that there were some important upgrades and

> > changes from the typical computer you are used to, such as:

> >

> > * The cursor moves from right to left.

> >

> > * It comes with two hard drives, one for fleyshedik business

> > software and one for milchedik games.

> >

> > * Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now

> > gets "Ferklempt."

> >

> > * The Chanukah screen savers include "Flying Dreidels."

> >

> > * The PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.

> >

> > * After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within

> > 24 hours.

> >

> > * The "Start" button has been replaced with a "Let's go!

> > I'm not getting any younger!" button.

> >

> > * When disconnecting external devices from the back of my

> > PC, I am

> > instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus."

> >

> > *The multimedia player has been renamed to

> > "Nu, so play my music already!"

> >

> > * Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the

> > upper right corner.

> >

> > * I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.

> >

> > *Microsoft Office now includes "A little byte of this,

> > a little byte of that that"

> >

> >

> > * When running Scandisk, it prompts with a "You want I

> > should fix this?" message.

> >

> > * When my PC is working extremely hard, I occasionally

> > hear a loud"Oy Gevalt!"

> >

> > * There is a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz

> > that

> > advertises

> > that it gets rid of the "schmutz und drek" on your

> > monitor.

> >

> > * After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes

> > "Schloffen."

> >

> > * Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzo ball

> > chicken soup.

> >

> > * The Y2K problem has been replaced by

> > "Year 5760-5761 issues."

> >

> > * If you decide not to shut down the computer in the prescribed

> > manner the following message appears:

> >

> > "You should be ashamed of yourself."

> >

> > * When Spellcheck finds an error, it prompts:

> > Is this the best you can do?

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