Lesson of politics for kids

[Guest guest]

[On myth of freedom and democracy and current political trends. This

can be best understood by those from USA and former Soviet bloc...]

 

 

The True Nature of Government

 

I think it is very important that we teach our children about

the true nature of government. Now, at last, there is a way to

give your children a basic civics course right in your own home!

 

In my own experience as a father, I have discovered several

simple devices that can illustrate to a child's mind the prin-

ciples on which the modern state deals with its citizens.

 

You may find them helpful too.

 

For example, I used to play the simple card game WAR with my

son. After a while, when he thoroughly understood that the

higher ranking cards beat the lower ranking ones, I created a

new game I called GOVERNMENT. In this game, I was Government,

and I won every trick, regardless of who had the better card.

My boy soon lost interest in my new game, but I like to think

it taught him a valuable lesson for later in life.

 

When your child is a little older, you can teach him about our

tax system in a way that is easy to grasp and will allow him to

understand the benefits. Offer him, say, $10 to mow the lawn.

When he has mowed it and asks to be paid, withhold $5 and explain

that this is income tax. Give $1 of this to his younger brother,

who has done nothing to deserve it, and tell him that this is

"fair" because the younger brother 'needs money too'. Also, ex-

plain that you need the other $4 yourself to cover the administ-

rative costs of dividing the money and for various other things

you need.

 

Make him place his $5 in a savings account over which you have

authority. Explain that if he is ever naughty, you will remove

the money from the account without asking him. Also explain how

you will be taking most of the interest he earns on that money,

without his permission. Mention that if he tries to hide the

money, this, in itself, will be evidence of wrongdoing and will

result in you automatically taking the money from him.

 

Conduct random searches of his room in the small hours of the

morning. Burst in unannounced. Go through all of his drawers and

pockets. If he questions this, tell him you are acting on a tip-

off from a mate of his who casually mentioned that you had both

earned a bit of spare cash last week. If you find it, confiscate

all of that money and also take his stereo and television. Tell

him you are selling these and keeping the money to compensate

you for having to make the raid. Also lock him in his room for

a month as further punishment.

 

When he cries at the injustice of this, tell him he is being

"selfish" and "greedy" and only interested in looking after his

own happiness. Explain that he should learn to sacrifice his own

happiness for other people and that since he cannot be relied

upon or trusted to do this voluntarily, you will use force to

ensure he complies. Later in life he will thank you.

 

Make as many rules as possible. Leave the reasons for them

obscure. Enforce them arbitrarily. Accuse your child of breaking

rules you have never told him about and carefully explain that

ignorance of your rules is not an excuse for breaking them. Keep

him anxious that he may be violating commands you haven't yet

issued. Instill in him the feeling that rules are utterly irr-

ational. This will prepare him for living under a democratic

government.

 

He is too young to understand the benefits of democracy, so

explain this wonderful system as follows:

 

You, your wife and his brother get together and vote that your

son should have all privileges removed, be caned, and confined

to his room for a week. If he protests that you are violating

his rights, patiently explain his error and tell him that the

majority have voted for this punishment and nothing matters

except the will of the majority. When your child has matured

sufficiently to understand how the judicial system works, set

a bedtime for him of, say, 10 p.m. and then send him to bed at

9 p.m. When he tearfully accuses you of breaking the rules,

explain that you made the rules and you can interpret them in

any way that seems appropriate to you, according to changing

conditions.

 

Promise often to take him to the movies or the zoo, and then,

at the appointed hour, recline in an easy chair with a newspaper

and tell him you have changed your plans. When he screams, "but

you promised!", explain to him that it was a campaign promise

and hence meaningless. Every now and then, without warning, slap

your child. Then explain that this is self-defence. Tell him

that you must be vigilant at all times to stop any potential

enemy before he gets big enough to hurt you. This, too, your

child will appreciate, not right at that moment, maybe, but

later in life.

 

If he finds this hard to accept, you can further illustrate the

point as follows. Take him on a trip across town with you, to a

strange neighborhood. Walk into any random house you choose and

start sorting out their domestic problems, using violence if

that is what is required.

 

Make sure you use overwhelming force to crush the family into

submission - this avoids a protracted visit and becoming invol-

ed for long periods of time. Explain to your son that only a

coward stands idly by whilst injustice is happening across town.

Tell him we are all brothers and problems left to fester will

eventually spill over into your neighborhood. Use some of the

$5 you took from your son as bus fare and to purchase a baseball

bat.

 

Drink a bottle of whisky and then lecture him on the evils of

smoking dope. If he points out your hypocrisy remind him that

the majority of people drink and that, as already explained,

the needs of the majority are the only moral standard.

 

Break up any meeting between him and more than three of his

mates as being an 'unlawful gathering'.

 

If he strokes the cat without the cat giving its express per-

ission, slap him hard for feline harassment.

 

Mark one designated spot in the yard where he can leave his bike.

If he leaves it anywhere else, padlock it and demand $50 to re-

ease it. If he offends more than three times, confiscate the bike,

sell it, and keep the money.

 

Install a CCTV system in your son's bedroom and also record all

his telephone conversations. If he protests, accuse him of hav-

ing something to hide. Explain that only criminals seek privacy

and that good, dutiful children relinquish their privacy in exch-

ange for the advantages which protective parenthood offers. Remind

him of the boy across town who was caught smoking dope in his

bedroom by just such a CCTV system, and explain that this case

justifies installing CCTV in all teenagers' bedrooms.

 

Lie to your child constantly. Teach him that words mean nothing -

or rather that the meanings of words are continually "evolving",

and may be tomorrow the opposite of what they are today.

 

Have a word with his teachers at school and ask them to share

any merit marks your son achieves, with any ethnic minority

students who did not get any merit marks. If he questions this

policy, explain that long ago we abused the ancestors of these

people, and so it is only fair that he shares the merits around

to compensate their descendants.

 

This is also probably a good time to tell him that his energy,

talent and enthusiasm will not secure him a job if the quota of

such 'abused' people has not yet been filled. Tell him talent

stands for nothing - it is fairness and sharing which are impor-

tant. Remind him that his primary duty is the happiness and

welfare of people he does not know, and will never meet.

 

Ban cutlery from your home and make your son eat with his fingers.

If he asks why, remind him of the youth who stabbed a cat to

death last week with a fork. Explain that if just one cat is

saved by the banning of cutlery, then this prohibition will be

worthwhile. If he protests, question him closely about why he

is intending to kill innocent cats, or accuse him of being a

cat hater.

 

Issue him with a pass card which he must show before he can

enter the house. Stand guard at the front door. When he comes

home, politely but firmly take him into the spare room and

question him about his movements. Ask him how much cash he has

on his person. If in excess of $50, confiscate the lot as it

exceeds the house rule for maximum cash allowed. Then search

his rucksack and pockets. To keep him guessing, do the occas-

ional strip search. If he protests, detain him for longer and

make the search more thorough. If he gets really angry at this,

hold him in a locked room until he misses his next outing or

party.

 

If these methods sound harsh, I am only being cruel to be kind.

I think it is important for children to understand the nature

of the society in which we live.

 

I hope you found that amusing. I did when I wrote it, but on

second reading, I feel a bit sick. It makes the point too plainly

to avoid.

 

 

excerpt from the newsletter

 

Offshore & Privacy Secrets, May 31, 2000

Published by OPC International

http://offshoretrust.nu