Jokes for the day : o)

[Guest guest]

Teacher:Jane what come after T?

Jane: Supper.

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Tobacconist: Try one of these super cigars,sir - you won't get better.

Customer: I know - I had one last week and i still don't feel well.

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Wife: My clothes are so old and shabby,anyone coming to the house would

think i was the cook,not the owner.

Husband: Not if they stayed for dinner they wouldn't.

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Headmaster:We are only going to have half a day's lessons this morning.

Pupils: Hurrah!

Headmaster: Yes, we will have the other half this afternoon.

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Dad,do you like baked apples?

Yes,son,why?

The orchard's in fire.

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Mrs Smith was in hospital having a baby.Mr Smith rang to find out how she

was."Your wife is fine."said the midwife."The baby is fine, too,and he's

eight pounds."

"That's great,"said Mr Smith."I'll send you a cheque for the eight pounds."

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Surgeon's wife: why have you cut out the back of this book?

Surgeon: Well,it was marked 'appendix'and i cut it out without thinking.

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A little girl went to the zoo with her mother. She stared and stared at the

zebras until her mother asked her what was wrong."it's those horses,"the

little girl said."it's nearly supper time and they've still got their

pyjamas on."

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First girl jockey: Why are you putting on make-up before the race?

Second girl jockey: You never know,it may be a photo finish,and i want to

look my best.

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What's the difference between a watchmaker and a jailer?

One sells watches and the other watches cells.

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Why was Robin Hood like a famous artist?

He was always drawing his bow.

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What falls all day yet never gets hurt?

A waterfall.

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Guide leader: What would you do if your little sister swallowed the door

key?

Guide: Climb in through the window.

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From the TERRIBLE JOKE book.

 

to be continued..........