Guest guest Posted July 11, 2000 Report Share Posted July 11, 2000 > > > The Complete Sardarji Encyclopaedia ** > > > Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?" > > > "Sure." > > > "Give me a green one, please." > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to >Amritsar? > > > Just a sec," says the rep. Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs > > > up. > > > EMPLOYMENT.. > > > Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He >promptly > > > filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. > > > Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : > > > He was not sure as to what to be filled there. > > > After much thought he wrote : Yes > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > CROCODILE BOOTS.. > > > Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair >of > > > crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a >search > > > is > > > being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing >a > > > huge > > > one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily >exclaims > > > "71st > > > and *again* barefeet!" > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. > > > He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" > > > The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." > > > The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It >keeps > > > hot > > > things hot and it keeps cold things cold." The sardar says, "I'll >take > > > it!" > > > The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. > > > His sardar boss sees him and asks, > > > "What is that shiny object with you?" > > > He said, "It's a thermos flask." > > > The boss then says, > > > "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold >things > > > cold." > > > The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" > > > The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke." > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it > > > home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later > > > disconnected it because he was getting complaints like > > > "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ? > > > He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !! > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of >paper ? > > > (he already has one and he wants one more..) > > > He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!! > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They >were > > > planning for free Punjab. > > > Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but >how > > > would > > > we develop it?" > > > That was a difficult question indeed. > > > Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it >would > > > take > > > over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll >automatically >get > > > developed." > > > All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old >surd > > > did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't >happy. >The > > > surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY >CHANCE > > > WE > > > TAKE OVER USA ?????" > > > > > > ============================================= > > > > > > Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. > > > "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. > > > "Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied. He hurried home >removed > > > his > > > turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the >salesman >"I > > > would like to buy this TV." > > > "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied. "Damn, he > > > recognized > > > me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, >haircut >and > > > new > > > hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days >before > > > he > > > again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." >"Sorry, > > > we > > > don't sell to Sardars," he replied. > > > Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?" > > > "Because that's a microwave," he replied. > > > > > > * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * > > > > > > Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? > > > Because below 18 was not allowed. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence? > > > Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? > > > Pull the pin and throw it back. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like > > > crazy....he's > > > got a hand grenade in his mouth. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? > > > Tell him a joke on Wednesday. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his >ears? > > > Trying to hold on to a thought. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > Why do Sardars work seven days a week? > > > So you don't have to re-train them on Monday. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? > > > They always forget the recipe. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? > > > He threw it off a cliff. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? > > > A wind tunnel. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes? > > > The back of his head. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer? > > > Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!). > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > What do you call a sardar who has only one drink? > > > Just-one Singh. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms? > > > They think their picture is being taken. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes? > > > Toes Go In First. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? > > > It has a stamp on it. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > Why can't Sardar dial 911? > > > They can not find the eleven on the phone > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > How do you get Sardar on the roof? > > > Tell him the drinks are on the house. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > "Oh, look at the dead bird." > > > Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where? > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? > > > You always hear about them but you never see them. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a > > > regular > > > one? > > > You have to hollow out the head. > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > TO LOSE WEIGHT.. > > > The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for >300 > > > days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji >called > > > the > > > doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. >"What's > > > the > > > problem?"asked the doctor. > > > "I'm 2400 kms from home." > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > > > > TRAIN TO LUDHIANA.. > > > Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. > > > Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" > > > "No," answers the Railway man. > > > "Can I?" asks Gani Singh. > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs >start > > > approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him >"kyon > > > sardarji, kya baat hai? > > > Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" Sardarji > > > replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki > > > cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata " > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > > > > Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway > > > tracks and he takes along > > > some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him > > > and asks "kyon bhai ye sab > > > kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train > > > late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun" > > > > > > * * * * * * > > > Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he >gave >the > > > guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up >when >the > > > station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 >rupees, > > > the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell >asleep, > > > the > > > barber quietly shaved off his beard. > > > When the station arrived, the > > > Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. > > > Reaching home, he went to wash his > > > face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. > > > Said his wife " What's the > > > matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken > > > my 20 rupee > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.