Funny Stuff from the Workplace

[Guest guest]

Someone sent me the best of the 240 worst analogies used by bosses from the

Dilbert.Com site. Some creative stuff in here.

 

 

Describing a co-worker,

'He's not the sharpest knife in your back.'

 

If we all work hard, we can turn this company around 360 degrees

 

In a staff meeting: 'We have to take the bull by the horns while the iron

is

hot!'

Me: 'Yeah, and run it up the flagpole and see who gathers no moss.'

PHBette: 'Right, good thought, Bob'...

 

We must band together with a single-minded purpose, like lemmings.

 

Getting nine women pregnant doesn't get you a baby in a month. You just get

81 babies.'

Must be that 'new' math he uses.

 

'We'll drive off that bridge when we come to it'.

said when faced with

engineer's concern that software wouldn't work when delivered

 

'I want this project to be the next Titanic'

Nobody dared asked if he meant

the movie or the ship

 

'Use less paper!! The stuff doesn't grow on trees, you know!!!'

 

'When it comes to quality, I want to be the Microsoft of our industry!' .

Uh, sir, I'm afraid we already are.

 

You're as important to our company as a gerbil is to a lab experiment.

 

'Thats just as exciting as a turd in a bathtub'

 

Meant to say 'circumvent my authority', SAID...'circumsize my authority' --

OK, we can handle that...

 

We gotta work like a pig in heat...