OS Women

[Guest guest]

If OS's were women:

UNIX: She's very objective, logical, and intelligent. She's ugly but she

looks ok with lots of makeup. She's very tidy and a keeps a clean house. She

only speaks ancient Greek and only listens to you if you use perfect

grammar. She's very emotionally stable and refuses to argue. People consult

her on really important things because they know they can depend on her.

 

Mac OS: She's even tempered and only blows up if you do something really

stupid or if there's something seriously wrong with her system. She's

beautiful and improves with age. She's very stylish and sets trends. She

never lies. She is easy to talk to and you can generally get her to do what

you want without much of a fuss. She's a good communicator and likes to talk

to friends. She's flexible and likes change. She's always nice to people

when they come to visit. People love her when they get to know her and she

has devoted friends everywhere. She smiles at you when you turn her on.

 

Windows: She has a nasty temper and often blows up at you for no reason. You

have to fight with her to get her to do anything and she insists that you do

things the hard way. She's extremely jealous and has been known to slip

poison into the drinks of other women who come to visit. She even fights

with her friends and it can take hours to get them to listen to each other.

Even then, they only recognize each other when they feel like it. She has

many psychological problems which carried over from her DOS childhood,

although she claims to be over it. Her house is immaculate until you look in

the closets and storage spaces where she hides all the crap she doesn't want

people to see. Her house is full of nifty appliances and home electronics

but you're lucky if you can get anything to work. Nothing in her house is

where you would expect it to be; the kitchen is on the roof and the bathroom

is through a trap door under a rug. She throws a tantrum if you rearrange

the furniture. If she gets really mad she makes you go outside, ring the

doorbell and wait for her to calm down and let you back in. She deteriorates

with age and gets even more ornery the older she gets.