Humility, Chastity, Surrender, and Protection

[Guest guest]

The following paper addresses some of the qualities that have been recently

mentioned on this conference as desirable for women. It's written by

Visakha Prabhu, who is a senior disciple of Srila Prabhupada and who was

fortunate enough to have much of his association.

Ys, Madhusudani dasi

 

Humility, Chastity, Surrender, and Protection

 

By Visakha devi dasi

 

Humility, chastity, surrender, protection: what do they mean? This

question refers to the relationship between women and men. To get a glimpse

of what these four qualities mean in that relationship, let us look at them

in the context of the relationships in the Mahabharata, the Srimad

Bhagavatam, as well as in Srila Prabhupada's personal example.

 

Men's view today vs. their view in the days of yore

First, let us look at Canakya Pandita's famous moral instruction concerning

a learned man. Canakya, who is repeatedly quoted by Srila Prabhupada in his

purports and lectures, states that a learned man is known by three

qualifications, one of which is that he sees all women except his wife as

mother. Now, in our Hare Krishna movement we can say that men often do see

women in the same way they see their own mother: just as they have little

interest or concern about what their mother says, thinks, or does, they

similarly have this attitude toward women. But this is not what Canakya

Pandita meant. In his day the way a man viewed his mother was on a totally

different platform, a platform indicated in the Bhagavad-gita where Krishna

says, "Austerity of the body consist in worship of . . . superiors like the

father and mother." (Bg. 17.14)

 

From the Mahabharata we get a sense of how mothers were respected in a

Krishna conscious culture:

 

On the occasion of Radheya's (Karna's) sixteen birthday, he told his

foster mother that he was eager not to drive a chariot but to wield the bow

and arrow. Radheya said: "Why mother, why should this unnatural desire find

a place in my heart?" Tears sprang to the eyes of his mother, Radha. She

sat silent; her tears flowed on. Radheya put his arms around her and said:

"Mother, have I wounded you? I love you more than my life. If anything I

said has hurt you I am sorry. I would rather kill myself than cause you so

much pain." The citizens of Ekachakra, who were unknowingly hosting the

disguised Pandava brothers and their mother Kunti, decided among

themselves: ". . they [the five brothers] distinguish themselves by their

behavior and their devotion to their mother."

 

When Arjuna returned from the svayamvara with Draupadi, Kunti, hearing

from Arjuna that he had brought alms and without looking at the so-called

"alms" said, "All of you share whatever alms you have brought." When she

realized that Draupadi had been jokingly referred to as the "alms," she was

horrified at the words she had spoken. On thinking over the situation,

Yudhisthira decided, "Mother has said that we should all share Draupadi.

She has spoken. There is nothing more sacred than the words of mother. She

is our guru. Let us obey her . . ."

 

These and many other passages reveal the degree of respect that a man had

for his mother. Similarly, the mother held her son in the highest regard.

For example, after she had unknowingly asked her five sons to share

Draupadi, Kunti privately expressed to her eldest, Yudhisthira, her anguish

at having instructed them in that way. Yudhisthira reassured her and

promised to resolve the difficult situation. The Mahabharata reveals a

woman-man relationship that has an extraordinary dimension of mutual honor

and heartfelt deference. The women in this historical narration want to see

only greatness in their men. To be somebody, they had no interest in

becoming more like a man, but to be more of a woman. Thus they understood

their husband's temperament and pleased him. This was their victory.

However great the woman, she placed herself before her husband in this way;

that is to say, she was ready to carry out her husband's orders and please

him in all circumstances. Then her life was successfu; then she conquered

the heart of her husband. And the powerful heroes who grace the pages of

the Mahabharata honor their women and are prepared to lay down their lives

for them not out of petty bodily attachment, but out of the greatness of

dharma. Women were acknowledged as the inspiration for men, as the bedrock

and nurturers of the next generation. Men were aware that the happiness and

spiritual advancement of women was a prerequisite to the happiness and

spiritual advancement of the entire society, for women were responsible for

society's children, and even more than religion, a happy childhood created

a good citizen. If the hearts of women were vacant and unfulfilled, the

society would soon be filled with a generation of vacant-hearted, unhappy

adults; it would no longer be a society, but a group of unfulfilled people

in disarray. Thus these men, as the protectors of women, accepted

responsibility for their happiness. This is important: the man on whom the

woman depends is responsible for her happiness. And in turn, by looking to

their greatness, the women enabled the men to be all that they could be.

The human heart yearns for the beautiful in all ranks of life, and the men

and women of the Mahabharata were trained to see that beauty in each other.

 

Humility, chastity, surrender.

As far as the specific qualities of humility, chastity, and surrender, we

turn to the example of Draupadi, the wife of the five Pandava heroes and an

emblem of these qualities. When Draupadi's hand in marriage was won by an

unknown brahmana, her father was horrified. He had intended her to be the

bride of Arjuna and none other. Determined to discover who had won his

beloved daughter, he asked his son, Dhrishtadyumna, to spy on the disguised

Pandavas. Dhrishtadyumna did so and, on watching the goings-on in their

house saw his sister, a princess born in the royal household and used to

all comfort, happily eating the meagre alms that the "brahmana" brothers

had begged. Dhrishtadyumna was surprised to see the smile that lurked at

the corner of Draupadi's lips. The sun had set. Still Dhrishtadyumna looked

on. The five young men now spread kusa grass on the floor and lay down to

sleep. Kunti lay down at the head and Draupadi was pleased to humbly lay at

their feet as a foot-pillow. Now let us fast forward a few years. Draupadi

is the ideal wife, one of greatest chaste women in history, and able to

please five husbands. Here she speaks to the elders in the Kaurava court at

the time of the ill-fated gambling match between her husband Yudhisthira

and his cousin, Duryodhana:

 

"You are all present and yet unrighteousness has reared its head. Can it

be possible? Here is a man drunk with power, asking for a woman to be

dragged to the court. And you are all looking on! . . . The righteousness

for which the House of Kurus was noted has now overleaped its boundary and

is now flowing away from here. . ."

 

And later, in talking with Krishna about the terrible injustice done to

her in the court that day, Draupadi said, "The old dotards Bhisma and

Dhritarastra were there, but they did nothing to prevent this outrage. They

did nothing and they said nothing. I will tell You about these husbands of

mineÉ Duhsasana tried to disrobe me. These men were silent. Can anything be

more horrible than that?É Yudhisthira talks glibly about dharma but is it

not the highest dharma of a husband to protect his wife when she is being

insulted? Even if it had been just any woman, they should have leaped to

her rescue, as it is written down in the book of rules. . . Chivalry is

dead in the hearts of men. They are not men."

 

Is this the voice of a chaste woman? Is this how a surrendered wife acts

toward her revered husband? Is this our example of a humble Vaisnavi? Yes.

For the spiritual elevation of a society, its women must be peaceful and

happy. For women to be peaceful and happy they must be respected,

cherished, loved and protected. When these are absent, as they were in the

Kaurava court, there is no religiosity, no dharma, no culture. And

therefore Draupadi had to speak out fearlessly. And Krishna agreed with

her. Srila Prabhupada writes, Arjuna "need not be afraid of killing his

grandfather. When the sons of Dhritarashtra tried to disrobe Draupadi in

the assembly of the Kurus, Bhisma and Drona were silent, and for such

negligence of duty they should be killed." (Bg 11.49 purport) And,

"Duhsasana, a brother of Duryodhana, insulted Draupadi, an ideal chaste

lady, and therefore the miscreants died untimely." (SB 1.8.5 purport) One

may think of Draupadi as hot-tempered and given to unreasonable words. And

besides, her circumstances were extreme. So, let us hear from Gandhari,

another exalted emblem of chastity who, Srila Prabhupada says, is no less

than Grandfather Bhisma in character. (Grandfather Bhisma is one of the

twelve mahajanas or authorities in devotional service.) Here she is in the

Kaurava court addressing her husband, the blind Dhritarastra:

 

"This kingdom does not deserve to be ruled by a man who is full of

avarice. My son Duryodhana is full of avarice. But, my lord, you, more than

my son, have to be censured for this unfortunate happening. In the extreme

love you have for your son, you have been unheeding to the rules on

conduct. Knowingly and willingly you have accompanied him in the path of

sin. He has been possessed by greed and pride. You cannot control him now.

It is now too late. In spite of my warning words, you made him the ruler of

the kingdom. You are now reaping the fruits of your own foolishness."

 

And to her eldest son, Duryodhana, she says,

 

"My dear son, listen to my words. I want you to be happy. It is not easy

to be the king of a great land like the Kuru land. You must be fit for it.

A man who has these qualities, avarice and pride, cannot rule a kingdom.

You are ill-fitted to be a king. You have not conquered self. . You think

that Bhisma, Drona, and your Radheya will be able to defeat the Pandavas.

Do not be so foolish. Think of Krishna and Arjuna. They are Nara and

Narayana. They have dharma on their side. Where there is dharma there is

victory. They are here to kill all of you. Listen to my words and be happy."

 

How can we reconcile these powerful statements coming from the mouths of

ideal chaste ladies? One who is chaste is morally pure in thought and

conduct. Had they not spoken out when circumstances demanded it, Draupadi

and Gandhari would have been unchaste . Steeped in dharma, their very

chastity forced them to speak and empowered their words. So let us not

mistake humility, chastity, and surrender to mean meekness, acquiescence,

and blindness. When there is cause to speak, the chaste, humble,

surrendered woman must speak. Thus Draupadi and Gandhari remained chaste

and faithful to their husbands and also remained chaste to dharma. Where

there is dharma there is Krishna; the chastity of these exalted ladies is

ultimately their unwavering chastity to Krishna. Srila Prabhupada writes

how an exalted lady "is described as chaste due to her unalloyed devotion

to Lord Krishna."

 

Protection; part one

To protect means to keep from being damaged or injured. That woman who is

ignored, intimidated, treated with [image] disdain and an attitude

of superiority, is unprotected. She is damaged and injured even while

surrounded by those who should be her well-wishers. To protect a woman

means to love, honor, and cherish her as Drupada loved his beautiful

daughter, Draupadi; as the Pandava brothers honored their mother, Kunti;

and as they cherished their qualified wife, Draupadi. Those who are not

respectful to women injure not only women, but themselves as well. As long

as a man ignores and denigrates women, he ignores and denigrates some part

of himself. His own condescending attitude prevents him from soaring as he

otherwise might. On the other hand, the more that women are empowered, the

more empowered will men be. Because when you strengthen another's

character, your own character is strengthened. One of the questions that

Yamaraja, disguised as a Yaksha, asked Yudhisthira, was "Who is the friend

granted by the gods to man?" To which Yudhisthira correctly replied, "The

wife is the friend bestowed on man by the gods."

 

Scriptural statements Many scriptural statements may make men may feel

justified in their demeaning attitude toward women. Let us look at some

prominent ones along with balancing statements on the same topic:

 

1) a woman's birth is low "O son of Pritha, those who take shelter of Me,

though they be of lower birth women, vaisyas, and sudras can attain the

supreme destination." (Bg 9.32) On the other side, "Kalau sudra sambhava,"

in this age of Kali, everyone is born a sudra. Srila Prabhupada comments,

"This age is called Kali. So it is the statement of the sastras that in

this age the whole population is sudra. In this age of Kali practically

there is no more any brahmana, ksatriya, or vaisya. Maybe by name, but in

qualification they are not existing."

 

2) women are less intelligent ". . . generally all women desire material

enjoyment. They are called less intelligent because they are mostly prone

to material enjoyment." (SB 3.23.54) On the other hand, ". . . if a man's

and woman's attachment is not to each other but to Krishna, then both of

them are equally eligible to get out of the material entanglement and reach

the abode of Krishna." (SB 3.31.41 purport) And, "Women, sudras, and

vaisyas are ordinarily regarded as less intelligent, but if one takes to

Krishna consciousness one is the most intelligent." (Teachings of Queen

Kunti, Chapter 3) And, "Materially a woman may be less intelligent than a

man, but spiritually there is no such distinction. Because spiritually

everyone is pure soul. In the absolute plane there is no such gradation of

higher and lower." (letter to Jayagovinda February, 1968) And finally,

"Ordinarily women is taken less intelligent; sudra is taken less

intelligent; vaisya is taken less intelligent. But if he takes to Krishna

consciousness, he is the most intelligent. Krishna yei bhaje sei bada

catura. This is the statement in the Chaitanya-charitamrita. Anyone who has

taken to Krishna consciousness, he is the most intelligent." (Srimad

Bhagavatam lecture 1.8.20)

 

3) women are inferior "Here is a difference between male and female that

exists even in the higher statuses of life; in fact, even between Lord Siva

and his wife. Lord Siva could understand Citraketu very nicely, but Parvati

could not [therefore she cursed him]. Thus even in the higher statuses of

life there is a difference between the understanding of a male and that of

a female. It may be clearly said that the understanding of a woman is

always inferior to the understanding of a man. In the Western countries

there is now agitation to the effect that man and woman should be

considered equal, but from this verse it appears that woman is always less

intelligent than man." (SB 6.17.34-35 purport) While discussing the same

pastime, Srila Prabhupada also comments, "Mother Parvati was justified in

punishing Citraketu, for Citraketu impudently criticized the supreme

father, Mahadeva, who is the father of the living entities conditioned

within this material world." (SB 6.17.15 purport) In another place he

writes, "Women in general are unable to speculate like philosophers, but

they are blessed by the Lord because they believe at once in the

superiority and almightiness of the Lord, and thus they offer obeisances

without reservation. The Lord is so kind that He does not show special

favor only to one who is a great philosopher. He knows the sincerity of

purpose. For this reason only, women generally assemble in great number in

any sort of religious function. In every country and in every sect of

religion it appears that the women are more interested than the men." (SB

1.8.20 purport)

 

4) women are emotional and lack discrimination "Women as a class are no

better than boys, and therefore they have no discriminatory power like that

of a man. Asvatthama proved himself to be an unworthy son of Dronacharya or

of a brahmana, and for this reason he was condemned by the greatest

authority, Lord Sri Krishna, and yet a mild woman [Draupadi] could not

withdraw her natural courtesy for a brahmana. . . We should not follow the

mild nature of a woman and thereby accept that which is not genuine." (SB

1.7.42 purport) On the other hand, "Draupadi desired that Asvatthama be at

once released, and it was all the same a good sentiment for her. This means

that a devotee of the Lord can tolerate all sorts of tribulation

personally, but still such devotees are never unkind to others, even to the

enemy. These are the characteristics of one who is a pure devotee of the

Lord." (SB 1.7.43 purport) Not only that, but "Maharaja Yudhisthira, who

was the son of Dharmaraja, or Yamaraja, fully supported the words of Queen

Draupadi in asking Arjuna to release Asvatthama. . . Draupadi was herself a

mother, and therefore her calculation of the depth of Kripi's grief was

quite to the point. And it was glorious because she wanted to show proper

respect to a great family." (SB 1.7.49)

 

5) women should not be trusted Srila Prabhupada quotes Canakya Pandita,

"Never trust a woman or a politician." He also says, "On the spiritual

platform, however, when one is elevated to the platform of Krishna

consciousness, whether one is a man, woman, sudra or whatever, everyone is

equal. Otherwise, Urvasi, who was a woman herself and who knew the nature

of women, said that a woman's heart is like that of a sly fox." (SB 9.14.34

purport) And, "Never the trust the politician and woman. Of course, when

woman comes to Krishna consciousness, that position is different. We are

speaking of ordinary woman." (Bhagavad-gita lecture 1.40) Also, Srila

Prabhupada writes, in the Krishna consciousness movement since "both the

boys and the girls are being trained to become preachers, those girls are

not ordinary girls but are as good as their brothers who are preaching

Krishna consciousness." (Cc Adi 7.31-32 purport) And, "Actually male and

female bodies, these are just outward designations. Lord Chaitanya said

that whether one is brahmana or whatever he may be if he knows the science

of Krishna then he is to be accepted as guru." (letter to Malati)

 

This dialogue of quotes is not meant to be like counter-Brahmastras thrown

to nullify Brahmastras. It is simply to present something of a balance, to

turn the priceless gem of Krishna consciousness to reflect different angles

of beautiful light. However, generally we are exposed to only the negative

half of the woman picture. All the quotes are there for all to see. Why are

some emphasized at the expense of others? Could there be some some

unconscious motivation, some benefit to a certain group of people from that

unspoken selection policy? Is our conditioning coloring which quotes we

remember?

 

Protection: part two

Three of the four qualities that are the topic of this discussion:

humility, chastity, and surrender concern the way women relate to men (as

well as the way disciples relate to the guru and the living entity to the

Supreme Lord). The fourth, protection, concerns how men relate to women

(and the spiritual master's and Krishna's relation to surrendered souls).

Let us look at Srila Prabhupada's example in this regard. By enthusing and

encouraging us in our service to Lord Krishna, by teaching us the

magnificent science of Krishna consciousness, Srila Prabhupada protected

his women disciples from the spiritual damage caused by the influence of

three modes of material nature. By his words and example, we became

detached from our flawed body and mind. Because he evoked our spiritual

consciousness, his was the greatest protection. And as our protector he was

personally concerned for our happiness. Srila Prabhupada spoke not to our

meanness and baseness, but to our greatness. By doing so, he evoked that

quality in us; our spiritual identity as part and parcel of Krishna and of

belonging to Him. We as women rose to his view, leaving aside our

disqualifications. Srila Prabhupada embued us with the desire to be all we

could be and do all we could do for Krishna. His calling impelled us to

stretch beyond our boundaries; to acquire a "can do" mentality; to

repeatedly bring our consciousness to the highest, most protected platform

of enthusiastic devotional service to the Supreme Lord, Sri Krishna. Thus

propelled, Yamuna and Kausalya led kirtanas before thousands, Malati and

Hemavati lectured, Palika and Vishaka became part of Prabhupada's personal

entourage touring America. In his personal dealings with us, Srila

Prabhupada was a gentleman with the nobility and gratitude of the Pandavas.

In response, our chastity to him as our guru, our savior, was unquestioned.

Our humility before and surrender to him was a given. And there reposed,

these very qualities were sources of ecstasy.

 

Conclusion: We've discussed humility, chastity, surrender, and protection

in the cultural context of the Mahabharata. We've looked at negative and

positive scriptural statements regarding women, and we've tasted Srila

Prabhupada's personal example in this area. Now kindly allow me to express

some personal feelings. This Women's Conference is a genuine cry from

women. It is a cry to our men to become the learned leaders they are meant

to be. To become men who respect women as mother in the Vedic, not Western,

sense. To become men who want women to love their life in devotional

service to Lord Krishna. In Srila Prabhupada's words, "our leaders shall be

careful not to kill the spirit of enthusiastic service, which is individual

and spontaneous and voluntary. They should try always to generate some

atmosphere of fresh challenge to the devotees, so that they will agree

enthusiastically to rise and meet it." (letter to Karandhara 12/22/72) At

the moment tremendous amounts of talent are being lost to our Society just

because that talent wears a sari. We humbly request our men to be on our

side. To want women to be empowered to be all they can be for Krishna, to

do all they can do for Him, to realize their full potential in every area

of their genius, for as Srila Prabhupada stated, "every person is his own

genius." In this way our women will blossom and our men will blossom even

more than they have already. This will be good for the women, good for the

men, and good for the International Society for Krishna Consciousness.

Thank you very much.