Departure of Govinda dd

[Guest guest]

Wednesday May 24

 

Govinda devi dasi (BJD) (formerly Jayapradha devi dasi) left her body at

about 10.40am today after an arduous and courageous battle with neck and

mouth tumours for two and a half years.

 

On Tuesday evening Govinda began experiencing heart palpitations,

an elevated pulse rate and decreased peripheral circulation. The medical

staff suspected that some internal bleeding from the tumour might have

begun, so following standard practice in such situations, administered to

Govinda 125mg of morphine and some tranquilliser with the intention of

easing any pain and reducing anxiety.

 

Govinda settled down, but the elevated pulse remained. I knew that she was

now close to leaving. Maybe we had 24 to 48 hours. The primary tumour in

her neck was the size of an egg on the outside just below her ear, but more

ominously also protruded internally into the floor of her mouth and into

the spinal vertebrae against the spinal chord itself. Exacerbating the

already debilitating effects of oral surgery last Janmastami, the size of

the tumour had made her speech difficult for even her closest carers to

understand easily, especially when she was requesting that some thing

needed doing. But even at this time she was still remarkably lucid.

 

I sat on her bed and gently told her that if she had any inkling or felt

any inclination to leave she should do so. Don't think that you have any

obligation left to me, that you will be causing me or anyone else some

inconvenience. You have my permission to leave. I give you my blessing to

go. Govinda replied that she didn't yet have the inkling, but she

acknowledged what I had told her.

 

I decided that it was time make the essential phone calls to our long

established chain of communication. Family and devotees were informed of

Govinda's condition. I surrendered mentally to the idea of another

sleepless night of vigil. Bhurijana Prabhu arrived about 9.30 with

Aniruddha and Acintya Rupa. Yasoda and Virabhadra came for the night, and

Stoka Krishna called in for a while to help and take Kamala home to take

bath and return for the vigil. Govinda was still conscious when Bhurijana

Prabhu arrived. He spoke to her, reminding her that the time for practise

was now over. This was the final test. Take shelter of Govinda and

 

Govardhana Hill, chant Hare Krishna, keep the mind focused.

Just before 11.00 pm, Govinda fell into a deep sleep. Devotees alternately

sat and chanted, paced and chanted and dozed in chairs, while Kamala Sri

watched Govinda like a hawk. Various temporary sleeping arrangements were

made and devotees tried to rest as best they could. I paced the far

reaches of the hospital in solitude until after 1.00, feeling numb and

exhausted, trying to come to terms with the imminent finality of Govinda's

departure. I prayed to Krishna for a dignified departure. I returned to

Govinda's room and dozed fitfully while Kamala Sri maintained constant

vigil until Acintya Rupa relieved her about 4.30 am. Govinda slept on

soundly.

 

Most of the devotees were awake again about 5.00 am and resumed their

personal vigils. By now I was realising that Govinda may not wake up again,

for she had not slept that soundly for more than a year. When Bhurijana

spoke to her again and reminded her of what she had to do, she gave a

flicker of her cheek, in what I suspect was a smile. As each of us spoke to

her, we felt sure that Govinda could hear us, for there was some was

slight reciprocation in her face or body.

 

On his ward rounds just after 8.00 am, the doctor advised us that she

could go any time in the next 24 to 48 hours, within 24 hours being more

likely. He was concerned that our 'community' should regroup and work out

arrangements so that each individual could do whatever they needed to do

to keep going for another day or few. Bhurijana Prabhu had been discussing

the same thing with Virabhadra and me. Govinda was sleeping soundly and

seemed quite stable. She had proved herself so resilient over the last two

months that I felt we would have time scale back for a few hours while we

regrouped. Bhurijana Prabhu left for Melbourne with Aniruddha and Acintya

Rupa, planning to return about 2.00 pm. Stoka Krishna arrived with some

breakfast and served it to various devotees. Kamala Sri decided to give

Govinda a bed bath, assisted by Yasoda and Norma. I spoke to Govinda,

telling her that Kamala Sri was going to bathe her now, and that I was

staying with her through the day and would return when she was finished

with her bath. When Govinda was freshly dressed and tilaked, Virabhadra

looked in on her and reported to me that Govinda's skin colour had changed

after the bathing.

 

Manmatha and I went to her immediately. She was lying on left side and

looking very pallid. Norma, the palliative care nurse, was monitoring her

vital signs and said that it would not be long. I left the room to

telephone Aniruddha and quickly returned to her bedside. Stoka Krishna

noticed that she seemed anxious, so he went to her side to reassure her.

He told her that there will be an end to her trial and suffering. At once

she relaxed and appeared comfortable again. Stoka Krishna started a kirtan.

 

Yasoda gave me the containers of Radha Kund water, caranamrita and tulasi

leaves as we chanted Hare Krishna. With Kamala Sri chanting loudly on left

side I chanted Hare Krishna loudly on her right side, placing drops of

Radha Kund water and caranamrita in her mouth. Norma was crouched by

Govinda's left side feeling her pulse. Norma looked up and shook her head

to indicate that Govinda had left her body. She had peacefully and quietly

slipped from her body without any fuss or agitation. It was 10.43 am. Her

countenance was peaceful, showing no signs of anxiety or fear.

 

Devotees cried and chanted prayers to Nrsimhadeva and continued with

kirtana. I left the room and called Aniruddha and various family members.

Virabhadra and I quickly discussed that it was likely that we could arrange

the cremation of Govinda's body before sundown, in accordance with Vedic

funeral injunctions.

 

Kamala, Yasoda and Norma proceeded to dress Govinda's body, apply tilaka,

sandalwood paste, gopi dots, bindhu, garlands, her Nrsimha pavitra (from

the Lord Nrsimhadeva deity in Mayapur given to her by our friends

Nrsimhadeva and Syama-rasi), harinama chadar and tulasi leaves.

Arrangements for the cremation went ahead. It was quite hectic, but at

least it was something to do, to keep us occupied from our grief, which

otherwise threatened to overwhelm us. Norma and several other nursing

staff were tearful. The young palliative care registrar stood by Govinda's

body with her palms folded in a traditional pranam mudra and chanted Hare

Krishna with the devotees as finishing touches were made to Govinda's body

in preparation for it to be taken to the funeral home. Tearfully, she

remarked that Govinda looked so beautiful.

 

When Bhurijana Prabhu arrived, he entered the room and joyfully exclaimed,

"You did it!" In my characteristically circumspect manner, I replied,

"I hope so!" I left the room to sign some papers for the funeral director.

Bhurijana Prabhu stood before Govinda contemplating. After some time he

announced, "She looks so pure!"

 

Govinda's departure happened in a matter of minutes, and although we had

planned what to do, we only had one go at the final test. As we analysed

what had happened we realised that all the ingredients had come together

when they were needed. The circumstances of Govinda's passing were

completely auspicious. After noting her countenance and the recounting of

events, Bhurijana Prabhu pronounced that Govinda's passing must surely be

a deliverance to Krishna.

 

And so for the rest of us who remain in this material world, begins the

grieving and healing for our dear departed Govinda, who was a loving

faithful wife, devoted mother, caring and generous friend, and

staunch-hearted devotee. She touched us all deeply in her life and

devotional service. Throughout her illness and final departure she

inspired all who had the privilege and good fortune to serve her with her

unfailing enthusiasm, cheerfulness and above all, courageous determination.

 

Cakra dasa