update from H.H BTSwami before operation

[Guest guest]

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Dear Maharajas and Prabhus,

 

Some of the devotees have written and called me inquiring about what my

present existence looks like at this time? I guess they are reflecting on

how I used to maintain a schedule of having four to six preaching

engagements in a day, I rarely ate more than once in a day and rarely slept

up to six hours. Anyway that's another life time ago.

 

Now I try if possible to eat three times in a day, most times I do not have

much appetite because of underlying nausea. I think I now have a handle of

what works best with my sugar diabetes. Now I eat twice and have a light

snack in the evening. As far as sleeping, I doze and wake up every hour or

so, either from the shaking and pain from the cancer in the foot, the high

fever at night, or from my accelerated prostrate problem, which has gotten

worse since the cancer. Now I find myself painfully passing urine every

hour and a half. Most nights due to high fever, I am constantly wiping my

body off to avoid lying in a puddle of sweat.

 

 

In the mornings getting to the bathroom is most difficult since I am not

able to walk now, but I bounce on a walker. Doing things like brushing my

teeth, shaving and showering is so tiring that I have to constantly pause

to catch my breath to avoid seemingly fainting.

 

On another note, each morning I receive great blessing through the mercy of

H.H. Purusottama Maharaja. Several months ago when he was in Washington

D.C, he gave me the most sublime package that included a very special

cloth, oils, Prasadam from Mayapur Deities and rice directly from Jaganatha

Puri, I especially take one grain of rice each day to remind me that all

the other medicines and treatments are secondary to Lord Nrsinghadeva and

Jaganatha's mercy. I chant my Japa, of course this is later in the

morning. Each day I try to listen to a tape of one of the leaders as a way

to get your association and to feel like I am still in the battlefield with

you, then I start my IV's which go on and off during the day, in addition

to other medications. Most of the day I am lying on my back in bed, later

in the day I am also on my back, but reclining on the couch. During the

day, I have different devotees to read to me. I do very little reading and

answering of emails, and of course when I can, I am receiving your phone

calls. Every moment that I can grab, I pray to Srila Prabhupada, (even

though my discomfort seems more than I can bear) that he please continue to

allow me to experience whatever is necessary for my own purification and

for the benefit of the Society.

 

Now that I have taken time to explain about my situation, when we

communicate on the phone or other means there will be little need to talk

about my bodily condition, but we can look deeper to discuss our

realizations and ways that we can better serve each other in the mission of

Srila Prabhupada. I have no idea what the near future holds for me, but I

am simply praying that with all of your prayers the ultimate outcome of my

present situation will be for Srila Prabhupada's satisfaction and

pleasure. Sometime after the amputation when I am more stabilized I will

send a personal update. Again I must thank all of you for moving with me

through this difficult journey. I guess this is a part of what real

Spiritual Community is for.

 

Yours in service to Srila Prabhupada

With love

BT Swami

 

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