from HH Bhakti Tirtha SWami

[Guest guest]

Dear Maharaja and Prabhus,

 

Please accept my humble obeisances

All glories to ISKCON Founder Acharya Srila Prabhupada

 

Sending updates is rather difficult, because there is always some good

news, some surprises, and seemingly bad news. My situation changes from

day to day.

Before leaving Hawaii, I was admitted again into the hospital for six days

having to undergo blood transfusions and a host of other tests.Upon

returning to Dasaratha's house I took a few steps on my crutches and

immediately collapsed. My body is extremely weak. A short time later, I

realized I had an accident and had to get cleaned up. While lying in bed

that night I was thinking I was experiencing so much discomfort and

suffering that I preferred to leave the body, but only if it could also

be Srila Prabhupada's desire. After many sleepless nights due to the

discomfort, it seemed like it could be so refreshing just to move on.

However, I think most of you are praying, as I am, for whatever is best

to take place.

 

The tumor in the foot has grown much bigger and the cancer is getting

worse, although the cancer in the other parts of the body are seemingly

gone. We are still waiting for he results of one biopsy to see if there

is cancer in the lymph nodes in the groin area.

 

The alternative treatments I was undergoing from 8.00am to 8.00pm were

successful in stopping the cancer from spreading to other parts of the

body, but has not eliminated the cancer from my foot. The mass of tumor

and concentration of melanoma is most significant in the case of the foot.

 

I am now in the process of scheduling amputation of the foot and part of

the leg, also possibly disection of the lymph nodes. According to the

doctors, this is a much more difficult operation than the amputation of

the foot. In the next correspondence I will inform you about the day and

time of the operation.

 

Once again I see all that I am going through is due to:

 

1. My desire to understand and assist others with their many different

kind of sufferings.

2. My own karma, and my intense journey of purification which is perhaps

rough due to my stubborness and contamination.

 

I requested 100% purity and nothing else, but when you are far from the

mark a lot of things has to be put in place to fully alter consciousness.

 

As most of you know Srila Prabhupada himself once embraced me with tears

in his eyes and told me, "Your life is successful." Knowing that Srila

Prabhupada does reveal one's original svarupa, I naturally thought perhaps

I am not so far from dropping my remaining anarthas. i.e attachments and

false ego.

These challenges and tests I must now undergo are for purification to

transcendence.

 

Will I stay in the body? or will I leave? only Srila prabhupada knows for

sure.

 

Please try in your own lives to keep surrendering, otherwise if you are

stubborn like me, you may also receive some tough love.

The beauty is that we want Krsna to speed up all our abilities to become

selfless, unmotivated, unconditional servants.

Additionally auspicious is knowing that at the end of the road there is

even more opportunity to serve Srila Prabhupada's mission in connection

with other dimensions.

Again I close with my mantra:

" I am blessed by the best, and I am praying to Srila Prabhupada and Krsna

to pass all the tests."

 

Yours in service to Srila Prabhupada

With love

BTSwami

 

P.S. I think this is a special time that Srila Prabhupada is looking out

to give additional blessings and empowerment to those who are ready. Be

greedy, dont miss out. Yes, there are some unusual statements in this

letter, I continue to be persistent in being unorthodox (smile) for many

important reasons.

 

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