Yuor Divine Grace Srila Acaryapad.

[Guest guest]

[Text 172961 from CIS]

 

Yuor Divine Grace Srila Acaryapad.

Please accept my humble obeisances thrown in the dust of your lotys feet.

All gloris to Srila Prabhupada.

 

Please forgive me for not sending you reports about my spiritual life.

Moreover,I want to beg for forgivenes for those actions of mine which, in my

opinion, had detrimental effect on my devotional service. Now I see that

Maya cheated me once again and I beg for your mercy so that I could be

successful in this struggle. My egoism and fruitive attitude towards bhakti

resulted in my not being able to develop profer relationships with devotees

in the Suharevo temple therefore the temple counsil had to exclude me from

the temple.My destiny after thet was as follows; Itried to find some servise

in other temples, but without success. So I had to go home and solve my

economic problems. It's impossible to find a jab therej. I alco had a debt

to pay for my flat. So I had to sell the flat. After that I found a servise

for myself in the construction department in Chelyabinsk temple. Here I am

trying to develop the desire to serve devotees. But I have doubts and

unclear points.

 

The first thing I want to clarify is.How great is the negative effect of my

crazy actions on my devotional practice? I's it possible for me to

counteract it? Because now I completely lost faith in myself, in my own

strengths.

 

Besides that I have another problem, that is I blame others for my own

failures. And in this case I am trying to find faults in you I blame for my

failures the fact that I didn't get the necessary instructions when needed.

I understakd that this is a bellish mentality which fully disgualifies me as

your disciple.But I do not know how could I get rid of that mentality.

 

At present I am trying to serve you here in Chelyabinsk by building the

temple. Also I have a desire to organize a center of your disciples here, so

that I could get more inspired myself and to inspire others to serve

you and your mission more and more.

 

Your humble servant, bhakta Sergey Gribenko.