Bovine economics

[Guest guest]

Feudalism

You have two cows.

Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism

You have two cows.

The government takes both, hires you to take care of them

and sells you the milk.

Communism

You have two cows.

You must take care of them, but the government takes all the

milk.

Capitalism

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron

You have two cows.

You borrow 80% of the forward value of the two cows from

your bank, then buy another cow with 5% down and the rest

financed by the seller on a note callable if your market cap

goes below $20B at a rate 2 times prime.

 

You now sell three cows to your publicly listed company, using letters of

credit opened by your brother-in-law at a 2nd bank, then execute a debt/equity

swap with an associated general offer so that you get four cows back,with a tax

exemption for five cows.

 

The milk rights of six cows are transferred via

an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority

shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows back to your listed company.

 

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more

and this transaction process is upheld by your independent auditor and no

Balance Sheet provided with the press release that announces that Enron as a

major owner of cows will begin trading cows via the Internet site COW (cows on

web). I am sure you now fully understand what happened.