Guest guest Posted June 9, 2006 Report Share Posted June 9, 2006 Dear Friends, Namaste! Could you share your thoughts on the following questions? How does the ideal father behave? What are his responsibilities towards his children? Are there scriptures that describe these duties? How can the father and child work toward perfecting their relationship? What are the rites and the paddhoti that involve a man in his role as a father? Your responses will be very useful for a research project that we are pursuing at Devi Mandir. I believe it will also help each of us as we try to perfect each of our relationships. with love and prayers, srini Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2006 Report Share Posted June 9, 2006 How does the ideal father behave? What are his responsibilities towards his children? Are there scriptures that describe these duties? How can the father and child work toward perfecting their relationship? What are the rites and the paddhoti that involve a man in his role as a father? To try to answer these questions we have start by figuring out what is the difference between the idea of the 'mother'and the'father'... We can clearly state that these two come together to procreate their and their ancestors future. But due to the act of procreation the father's part can be less physical but the mother's is not so as she has to bear the offsprings and take care off them i.e. she has to give more of herself physically thereby a bond is formed in almost all cases. Now comes the question is being an ideal father, is to protect and mold his offspring to reflect his or his ancestors values or Is being an ideal father more than the above i.e. can he like the mother give or open up to his offsprings in such a way that the characteristics of the father merges with the mother. But is it all... No because thou you may be the greatest parents - it is what you know or understand about yourselves which is important. You acn easily be the greatest parent and teach your offspring to hate another and isn't that the cause of all the bloody history of man. Then who is an ideal father... A ideal father is one who protects and provides for his offspring, feels and cares for them as a mother and nutures them with the ultimate knowledge and understanding - or GURU for some, GOD for others, SELF for the brave... Then what are all the pujas done idealizing the Father... >From the times of Vedas the Rishis have not only idealized the idea of the Father they have have equally idealized the idea of the Mother, Friend, Lover... So we should act in such a way to as idealize each and every person we encounter - juat like Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi's advice to us, "Learn to make the whole world your own. No one is a stranger, my child; the whole world is your own." In the end pujas are all about increasing our understanding about ourselves and thanking the people and various factors which helped us get there - if our understanding is constrictive then we have more to grow, if it is expansive then we have more to be thankful for. Here I would like to break and give thanks to my own father a kind, humble, self-effacing man who gave me everything but never imposed an idea on me. His love was a big part of all the understanding I have now - THANK YOU DAD! Jai Sri Ramakrishna! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2006 Report Share Posted June 10, 2006 , "srini_sadhu" <srini_sadhu wrote: > How does the ideal father behave? What are his responsibilities > towards his children? Are there scriptures that describe these duties? > How can the father and child work toward perfecting their > relationship? What are the rites and the paddhoti that involve a man > in his role as a father? Can the ideal father teach joy, if he himself knows not beauty, peace and happiness? Can the ideal father teach justice, if he himself has not been fair? Can the ideal father teach truth is he himself has not been honest? Can the ideal father teach empathy if he himself has not shown compassion? Can the ideal father teach patience if he himself has been impatient? Can the ideal father teach forgiveness if he himself has not shown mercy? Can the ideal father teach unconditional love if he himself has a greater attachment to his ego? He can model this path only if he has any intelligence of these truths and embraces them in understanding. To others - including his children, he can point the way, but the desire must also lie in the heart of the one with whom he shares. You can lead a horse to water, so to speak... He is responsible to point out which door to open, but it is up to the child to desire to open the door and walk through it. There his responsibility ends. In an ideal universe the cycle should never end...we're talking ideal here. The desire continues... How does one teach desire? Scriptures? I regret that I am woefully lacking knowledge in that area...Natural Law and the manifest causes and effects of my behavior have proven an uncannily reliable gauge as to how I'm living my truth... much love to you all... your sister, (thank you muktimaa for asking!) sal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2006 Report Share Posted June 11, 2006 hi srini. my answers are my own, don't conform to any scriptures, they are only based on experience. the father's responsibility to his child are very significant. they are as large as his own conscience. if he has no heart, he will have no responsibility, and can wander off free from a sense of obligation, like a demon. the father is obligated to protect the child. the father will have paternal responsibilities to the child for life. the father is obligated to teach the child to become as independent as possible. no favoritism in a family is allowed. if it is felt, it has to be transcended, remembering, preference is of the ego, responsibility is from god. the father must either be guru to the child, or otherwise, support and positively encourages the child's spiritual yearning. if the child is of greater spiritual knowledge than the father, the father should continue his seva of caring for his child, and learn as much as possible from his child's example, while teaching the child all the details of human life and social negotiations. it is the father's job to protect the natural spirituality of the child, and never be engaged in creating limiting self-concepts for the child. the father's greatest responsibility to his child is to his (the father's) own spiritual life. by living sadhana from his own heart, in daily life, the father naturally creates the example the child needs, without any effort, as if by grace. if there ever appears to the father a conflict between his own spiritual life and his obligation to his child[ren], he can pray to god for an answer, request inspiration from his own guru, or deeply inquire within, until his mission in life is clarified. , "srini_sadhu" <srini_sadhu wrote: > > Dear Friends, > > Namaste! > > Could you share your thoughts on the following questions? > > How does the ideal father behave? What are his responsibilities > towards his children? Are there scriptures that describe these duties? > How can the father and child work toward perfecting their > relationship? What are the rites and the paddhoti that involve a man > in his role as a father? > > Your responses will be very useful for a research project that we are > pursuing at Devi Mandir. I believe it will also help each of us as we > try to perfect each of our relationships. > > with love and prayers, > srini > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2006 Report Share Posted June 11, 2006 Dear Srini, I am certainly no expert on fatherhood, but I feel if we take a look at the Introduction to the Shiva Puja book and at what is said about Shiva there, we receive a few pointers in the direction of what I personally think would be a good father: he is stable: he knows who he is, is at ease with himself, is there, is reliable and has no inner void he wants his child to fill he allows transformation: he accepts his child to turn out different than what he expected, can adapt, is not attached to appearances either of himself or the child, he always has the welfare of his child in mind: he realizes how he can contribute positively to the child's circumstances, and then does it, and I agree with what others have said before, if a father is none of those things, the child still has a teacher in him, with love, Henny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2006 Report Share Posted June 11, 2006 I think the ideal father know he is a child too, so he take the hand of his child and they walk together to God. srini_sadhu <srini_sadhu > escreveu: Dear Friends, Namaste! Could you share your thoughts on the following questions? How does the ideal father behave? What are his responsibilities towards his children? Are there scriptures that describe these duties? How can the father and child work toward perfecting their relationship? What are the rites and the paddhoti that involve a man in his role as a father? Your responses will be very useful for a research project that we are pursuing at Devi Mandir. I believe it will also help each of us as we try to perfect each of our relationships. with love and prayers, srini Fale com seus amigos de graça com o novo Messenger http://br.messenger./ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2006 Report Share Posted June 11, 2006 Dear Srini, i think the ideal father would behave like Shiva. His responsibilities include leading in truth and by example, having the utmost respect for his wife (or mother of his children), protecting and nourishing the family. If we see mother and father as individual, then i am unsure whether any scriptures deal specifically with these duties but if we can see mother and father as a chakra, working in harmony for the good of their offspring who was brought into this world for a specific purpose, then the duties are described in all scriptures. i like Eric's contribution where he said "He (father) can model this path only if he has any intelligence of these truths and embraces them in understanding........ a father can also teach the above to a child thru the negative. a child can also learn these by a father modeling what NOT to do." The words are true for many children of all ages in this part of the world, writer included. For many years, i felt great disappointment and rejection towards my dad who only saw children as the means to an end and was completely oblivious of the pain and suffering that his absence had brought but a few years ago, one of Beloved Shree Maa's devotees told me that the resentment for him was causing problems in my life at another level. It was difficult to accept but I knew it was true so I started trying to see him as Swamiji and maybe a year or so later, I was able to call him, it was his 80th birthday. He was estatic to hear from me after so many years (we live in different countries) but when he said "you know i was wondering what I had done you" just that sentence made me realize that he did not then nor does he now have the understanding. And if i want to surrender and be devoted to God, how can I walk with anger or whatever towards anyone, my dad included. i thank God for sending the messenger that day and also for the understanding. Thank you for this opportunity. Kalia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 12, 2006 Report Share Posted June 12, 2006 In a message dated 6/11/06 7:26:20 AM Mountain Daylight Time, henny_v_i writes: I am certainly no expert on fatherhood, but I feel if we take a look at the Introduction to the Shiva Puja book and at what is said about Shiva there, we receive a few pointers in the direction of what I personally think would be a good father: he is stable: he knows who he is, is at ease with himself, is there, is reliable and has no inner void he wants his child to fill he allows transformation: he accepts his child to turn out different than what he expected, can adapt, is not attached to appearances either of himself or the child, he always has the welfare of his child in mind: he realizes how he can contribute positively to the child's circumstances, and then does it, and I agree with what others have said before, if a father is none of those things, the child still has a teacher in him, Namaste Henny That is the essence of being a father. The karmas of the mother and father may make it more difficult and for that the parents need to turn to the devine Mother and Father. The children chose the parents to bring that help and love, the parents provide it. With Love Kanda Om Namah Sivaya Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 12, 2006 Report Share Posted June 12, 2006 I pondering these questions I was reminded of Trailinga Swami's story and how He embodied in a way the ideal father, ie, prodding His children gently, but not letting His ego get in the way and get mad when the children didn't listen; always there to answer their questions and give sagely advise. Utmost on the list is respect for each other (father and child), for our individual journeys, for our pursuit of God. Jai Maa, Gauri , "srini_sadhu" <srini_sadhu wrote: > > Dear Friends, > > Namaste! > > Could you share your thoughts on the following questions? > > How does the ideal father behave? What are his responsibilities > towards his children? Are there scriptures that describe these duties? > How can the father and child work toward perfecting their > relationship? What are the rites and the paddhoti that involve a man > in his role as a father? > > Your responses will be very useful for a research project that we are > pursuing at Devi Mandir. I believe it will also help each of us as we > try to perfect each of our relationships. > > with love and prayers, > srini > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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