Cultivating Bhakti (Devotion)

[Guest guest]

I thought some members might find some value in this SS "offboard"

conversation about cultivating Bhakti, or Devotion, and the

practical realities of a fledgling Shakti Sadhana practice:

 

SADHAKA ONE: I agree that I can know more about Her only

experientially through Her grace (and my effort). The only problem

is that I still have to figure out if I actually love the Mother for

Her sake, or do I love Her for my sake? I hope you understand what

it is that I am trying to convey. Surrender doesn't come easily, and

mostly I can see that I want to surrender on my terms!

 

SADHAKA TWO: I think you really *don't* have to intellectually

figure out if you love and why you love. You can't force yourself to

surrender. Don't overthink it. The secret is just to do a little bit

every day.

 

Maybe do japa on Her name once a day; one mala (108 repetitions) if

you have time. If not, maybe just eight reps in the morning when u

get up and eight more before you go to sleep at night. Do more when

u can, less when you can't. Bring Her fresh flowers every Tuesday

and Friday. Burn an incense stick for Her. Whatever works for you.

Just make Her part of your routine, part of your life. And wait and

see what happens. No hurry. No analysis. Just do it.

 

ONE: I doubt too much. I doubt to the extent that I doubt even my

love for Her. I long to love Her sincerely. I long to love Her the

way Ramakrishna loved, but I know my mind still controls me.

 

TWO: Of course. Despite dramatic stories to the contrary, life

doesn't consist of sudden shifts and 180-degree turns and

revolutionary self-reinventions. Everything that happens, happens

gradually. Don't expect a sudden capacity for total selfless love

and surrender. Relax. You're human. Do the best you can. Again, just

get into the habit of making Her part of your life. Keep Her in

mind; pay attention to Her. And you will see changes faster than you

think.

 

It's like writing a book or drawing a picture -- you cannot totally

plot it out beforehand. The thing is to simply start, and in time

the project takes on a life of its own and each new stroke of paint

or turn of phrase suggests new possibilities and depths and ideas

you could never have come up with by passive planning.

 

Spirituality is a creative endeavor -- self-creative! It's nature is

evolution -- so let it evolve. Be who you are; you are fine as-is,

no need to be more loving or more surrendering before you start.

Just start, and over time the doubts and all that will fall away.

You will not see it on a day to day basis, but look back in a year

and you'll be astonished at your progress. It adds up fast!

 

ONE: There is too much analysis [in my approach to sadhana]; there

is too much intellectualisation. What is needed is honesty,

sincerity and simplicity ... a childlike expansive heart, and not a

grown-up's frustratingly defensive mechanism with all its pre-

concieved notions and structures.

 

TWO: Same answer. You don't have to "be" more honest, more

childlike, more simple. Just be who you are. You are fine. No matter

where you are, you're exactly where you need to be to begin your

journey. Just begin. Let your doubts arise as they wish; observe

them as if they belonged to someone else, and continue your routine

of involving Devi in your life. If your mind tells you its silly or

stupid, laugh along -- maybe it is, eh? But keep doing it, just in

case, okay?

 

ONE: I am trying to break free and I hope to experience Her joy and

Shakti, which pervades the Universe!

 

TWO: There is nothing to break free from. You are already there.

Just relax. Let your mind think what it wants to think, while

you "go through the motions" of your sadhana. Don't fret over its

intensity or quality -- the main thing is to do it. The intensity

and quality will evolve over time.

 

An orthodondist friend of mine once told me that you cannot

straighten a person's teeth through brute force -- even using a

hammer and all your strength. But if you use time and patience and

slow steady repetition of pressure, the just a few tiny, weak rubber

bands will do what that hammer could not.

 

Sadhana is like that too. You will never break down your doubts and

pychological shortcomings with an aggressive frontal assault,

however powerful. But the slow, steady pressure of daily devotions,

however small, will work miracles.

 

ONE: I was curious if you've experienced anything that you can share

easily -- I mean, has She ever come to you? I know these things are

not shared, and I am sorry that I intrude. But I cannot refrain from

asking, and please accept my apologies for the same.

 

TWO: There's no need to apologize. Has She come to me? Yes,

certainly, many times. But do not look for Her in grand, flashy,

dramatic shows and revelations.

 

Sure, those dramatic revelatory experiences exist -- plus people

love to tell exciting stories like that, and I am not denigrating

them. But in general, realize that She will show Herself to you in

the same way that I described you showing yourself to Her. Not in a

grand theatrical flash, or life-altering revolution -- but in a

slow, steady accumulation of tiny realizations and understandings

that ultimately, when you look back upon their cumulative effect,

will reveal the totality of their power. The grand flashes do exist,

and occasionally She may send some surprise to shake your doubt and

bolster your willingness to believe. But do not wait for these

moments or try to force them. Just let them come in their own time.

 

You are fine. You are ready. You are perfect. Just begin.