Does The Ego Hurt?

[Pankaja_Dasa]

Hare Krishna,

 

Do any devotees have the experience of their (lets call it so-called ego) hurt? I think i nearly went crazy before with mine. And here I was thinking it was small. ?

 

It was (i think), trying to .. and I thought I am crazy (fair enough) Sorry but I cannot give all details on the forum. And I though fair enough (serving Krishna made me go crazy years ago). So 1 level up is fair enough. I thought okay Krishna if you want me to go crazy, in that moment I realized what a big fat ego I have (it was huge, HUGE). Like an impenetrable solid wall. Just scary as well. I thought this is impossible to get rid of.

[Guest guest]

Often self-respect is confused with ego. Suppose somebody tries to trample your self-respect, and you react. He may say that you have ego problem, even though it is your self-respect.

 

I do not know the context of your post. So, I am not sure if it was ego or self-respect. But, since the two are often confused, please make sure that this was really ego.

 

Avinash

[Pankaja_Dasa]

lol no it was def, ego. I don't think i have any self-respect.

[Guest guest]

there is ego, then there is false ego.

When the ego is purified then it is no longer false ego.

 

When the ego comes to be "nitya Krishna das", then the ego is real.

 

the false ego is the mind and body identification.

[Guest guest]

Becoming fully consciouss of ahamkara can be really painfull experience if you are still identyfying with its movements and projections. It's not good to dwell upon it too much though, because it only makes it stronger.

[gHari]

I LIVE FOREVER

[Pankaja_Dasa]

When I think I should sacrifice this life for Krishna (the years) I think okay. But it's the time. Too much Maya and too much time = Fall-down sooner or later. I have an ego also that I am Indian (that I belong to India). When I don't. I belong to Goloka. (that really hurt my ego,). Many things, that you think. Sometimes I think, (in a devious way). That I'll think it for a bit then later I won't. I think it takes time to get rid of the things inside. Misconception (so many). It's meant to be easy (probably is if you just follow properly). I don't think it's meant to be this difficult. Maybe we (?) make it like that.. I guess chanting is the only way.

 

I also had a vision, that I had bandages over my eyes, (i was looking in a mirror at the time). And I could see my reflection (with bandages). Like it was a horror movie. I come here because of devotees, so anybody else reading may think I am crazy (devotees will know what I'm saying). Birds of the same flock together.

 

Another realization was that in that in the past temporary religions were preached (past kali-yugas). With different languages. For different people. Maybe other planets. Which I found funny. If Krishna wants to trick you He can do it forever. Also I find the outside world a but vile. And that's getting to me as well. I never realized how much it influenced me. (i think i have lot of pride). I am conditioned a certain way (i know it). And everybody is to certain extent. Family etc, location, sometimes I see Maya peeking, (like you actually know what's coming next). And you think I knew that would happen. WHich makes me a bit impersonalistic. And without feelings. (not caring so much). But it says change should come from within. And that everybody is a hypocrite, we do things tell others. And do something totally the same etc. (i do it all the time, esp ). Being a devotee is the most difficult thing in the world. (i mean like proper). Maybe I am trying to hard, but I know I will die soon so I am desperate. (thats why I am going crazy). I think as it is, I would prefer live in woods (lol). And chant on my ownself. And when I got a bit clear come out. But I still like talking to devotees, anyway.