Inquiries Into the Absolute: Digest 183, Overcoming faultfinding,critical tendency

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Digest 183, August 29th, 2006. Answers by His Holiness Romapada Swami Maharaja

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Overcoming faultfinding, critical tendency

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Question: I have a "natural" tendancy to be very critical and hence find

mistakes/faults in people. Most of the time, I find fault with people at the

mental level and not necessarily express it. This habit also extends to

devotees. I feel and know I am not supposed to do this. But, like I said, this

has become a habit and I am finding it hard to relinquish it.

 

In this whole process, I know I am wrong and hence I am always upset with my

behavior (but this happens as a reflex action and not able to control my mind).

 

Please advise me as to what I should do and how I should stop this habit of

mine! I feel this will hamper my devotional process and that Guru and Krishna

will not be happy with me.

 

Answer: There is a very simple and sure solution recommended to overcome

fault-finding tendency -- deliberately cultivate the opposite habit! Search out

and heartily appreciate the genuine good qualities in others, particularly in

relation to how these qualities are the gift of Guru and Krishna, and are to be

used in their service.

 

You can begin by making a very deliberate & conscious effort, as a daily

exercise, of acknowledging and appreciating good qualities in devotees, and

whenever circumstances allow, verbally expressing such appreciation and praise.

Even better are opportunities to offer heartfelt service to devotees in a

humble mood, and while offering such service doing so as a meditation and

expression of appreciation of specific good qualities you find in them - such

genuine service to vaishnavas can soften the heart and purge all critical

mentality. You can also seek out the association of those who themselves have

such a quality of genuine appreciation for others and serve in their company.

 

As you practice appreciating others, rather than arbitrarily praising some

independent traits, it would be much beneficial to try to identify in what way

Krishna's descending mercy is flowing into & transforming these devotees' lives

and how they are making sincere efforts according to their capacity to take

shelter of Krishna and His devotees. It is by this one good quality --

"krsna-eka-sharana" - that a devotee in time develops all desirable qualities,

whereas it is concluded that a non-devotee has no good qualities whatsoever,

because he is hovering on the mental plane. (Cf BG 1.28 purport)

 

Ultimately, we are interested neither in criticizing so-called bad qualities

nor in praising mundane good qualities. Krishna decorates His faithful devotees

with transcendental good qualities and by appreciating His devotees we are

actually praising the manifestation of His mercy. You will find that even if

there may be some factual, minor discrepancies in devotees, these become

insignificant in comparison to the more significant factor of how their

original nature is unfolding in relationship with Krishna, just like the black

spots on the moon become insignificant in comparison to the flood of cooling

illumination it provides.

 

Another very helpful meditation you can cultivate is to learn to see through

the eyes of scriptures what the praiseworthy qualities in a devotee are. You

can repeatedly study relevant sections from the Bhagavad-Gita or Srimad

Bhagavatam where Krishna glorifies those engaged in His devotional service and

how very dear they are to Him. E.g see BG 7.16-18, 9.14,15,22, 9.29-34. By

regularly meditating on these passages, we can cultivate very deep respect and

appreciation for the actual position of devotees beyond the external,

circumstantial and temporary characteristics that we generally tend to focus on

and instead appreciate their essential characteristic of taking shelter in

Krishna.

 

By developing this spiritual vision, it can then also be extended to those who

are not devotees; rather than being disturbed by their faults, we can learn to

see the root cause of their difficulties viz. their disconnection from God and

thus develop compassion for them.

 

Moreover, remind yourself of the fact that devotional service rendered

sincerely is *SO* powerful that it can wipe out all discrepancies, in us and in

others.

 

The process of devotional service is very powerful and by adopting the right

means and applying oneself to them, lifetimes of habits and conditioning can be

easily overcome. Have trust in this fact and with enthusiasm take up these

positive steps. When we are actively cultivating the positive, there is no room

for the negative; and the converse is also true! You are recognizing what is

wrong and why it is wrong and you also feel genuine regret, but now do not

dwell on it and let yourself be defeated by negative thoughts of frustration or

anger towards yourself or how you are displeasing Guru and Krishna. Instead

take up the positive and liberating process of rectification -- this will be

most pleasing to them and attract their descending mercy which will further

fill your heart with deeper appreciation of the glories of vaishnavas.

 

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