To Debi- re: about relationships

[Guest guest]

Dear Debi,

 

thank you very much for your insightful words. 'Remain teachable', I

like that very much. To keep a beginner's mind, yes.

Now you mention it, I remember having read those pages in Swami

Yogananda's book, but I had forgotten all about it or rather, it

hadn't clicked. If only we could remember..and it made me realize that

it must be a true sacrifice for a saint to come back here to teach us.

Thank you for reminding me,

 

with love,

henny

 

 

, "student61754" <student61754

wrote:

>

> Thank you so much for posting these gems from your lives. I think

> these are things we can all relate to.

> In the past I seemed to think I had so much to teach my husband

> about love and have only found that he was much wiser than I. I

> slso felt I had so much to teach him about God then once again he

> opened my eyes and now here I am.

> We think we know but I now have found, there is always more to learn

> & by staying open to knowledge (remaining teachable), and not being

> so controling of others lives and paths. I've grown much more than I

> would have if I had spent all my time pushing others into what was

> what I thought was best for them.

> Being a parent has tought me this even more. I tried to control

> rather than teach by example and in doing so only created striff.

> Just yesterday when starting on a new book; Autobiography of a

Yogi--

> Paramahansa Yogananda--I got an even better understanding of all

> this. In the first chapter he discribes his helpless humiliations of

> infancy. Of being conscious of being unable to walk and to express

> hiself freely. Of crying fits as he felt all this frustration and

> unable to express it. I began to think back on my childhood and

> rememberd how I saw myself in my minds eye as grown not childlike.

> Suddenly it became even more clear to me that these beings we call

> our children are not OUR children but simply BEINGS. We sould care

> for them and help them along not control and own them. In that

> light I began to feel differantly about relationships also. These

> people choose to walk with us through life not to be controled,

> changed, pushed or any of those things we don't like done to us but

> so easily do to others without thinking or with thinking that we

> know best for them. Your notes are so helpful in learning about all

> this. Thank you so much for sharing.

> Debi

> tha, "henny_v_i" <henny_v_i@> wrote:

> >

> > Dear Linda,

> >

> > I hope you don't mind my reacting to your post about

> relationships. Of

> > course all circumstances are different and I don't mean to compare

> in

> > any way, because obviously you are having a very difficult time,

> > butyour post about your partner and his computergames made me

> realize

> > something. So, even though mine is a different situation, I would

> like

> > to share what I learned over the past year or so:

> >

> > I know about this 'computer addiction' and I too have so often

> felt

> > frustrated because my husband sat behind his computer as soon as

> he

> > got up or got home, playing what I perceived to be a stupid game

> or

> > other, instead of pursuing what I thought to be more 'worthwhile'

> > activities, like meditation or watching me perform puja (yes, I do

> > like an audience). And there have been many times that I have

> > regretted the fact that he does not share my enthusiasm and that

> he is

> > not particularly interested in Shree Maa and Swamiji's teachings

> and I

> > have sometimes felt very alone and frustrated.

> > Yet there have been many more times when he has put me to shame by

> > demonstrating so much more love, compassion and honesty than I

> could

> > muster in any given circumstance, so much more wisdom and

> kindness, so

> > much more patience and forbearance (and also by never once

> criticizing

> > what I am doing or raising objections or ridiculing me), that I

> have

> > come to realize that he certainly is 'plugged in' even though I

> can't

> > see how.

> > I now often feel I learn from him, precisely because he follows

> his

> > own path (even though of course our paths intertwine too) and

> adheres

> > faithfully (or stubbornly, as I would describe it in one of my

> lesser

> > moments) to his own truth. Keeps me from becoming dogmatic:)

> > Having recovered from the shock that he would not and will not

> > (although you never know) do as I do, I am now content (most of

> the

> > time) in my own corner of the room; and one of the advantages of

> his

> > ability to amuse himself is that I get a lot of time for my own

> > practice! I still think it is very beautiful and a great blessing

> if

> > two partners share their spiritual practice. But there are many

> ways

> > in which people can grow together, and learn from each other, I

> have

> > found.

> >

> > Now, having said all this, I hope you understand my husband is no

> > saint and sometimes he drives me up the wall (as I do him, I'm

> sure).

> > But I wanted to tell you this because I am certain your partner is

> > 'plugged in' as well in some mysterious way. We all are. Sometimes

> the

> > current is strong, sometimes weak, and sometimes we get our wires

> > crossed and we get to sit in the dark. But the Power which

> connects us

> > is always there.

> >

> > Please don't think I am belittling your situation. I just wanted

> to

> > tell you what I learned. I hope and pray everything works out well

> for

> > you both and you can find a way to turn on the light again,

> >

> >

> > with love,

> > Henny

> >

> >

> > , nierika@ wrote:

> > >

> > >

> > > shreemaadevote posted:

> > >

> > > ...The most important accomplishment of human life is self

> > > realization. It doesn't matter what we become, it doesn’t

> matter

> > what we

> > > attain, it doesn’t matter what we possess. All of that is

so

> > temporary. It

> > > will

> > > all be left behind after only a moment's enjoyment. A well-

> lived

> > life is

> > > one

> > > that is full of love and joy and peace and compassion."

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Ah ~ devotee ~ I sense a "thread" here. The last digest had

> another

> > post

> > > about relationships, and believe me, at this point I have no

> idea ..

> > . but, more

> > > compassion on my part is certainly in order. It is just a bit

> > difficult when

> > > the compassion has to be applied to my partner making an online

> > computer game

> > > more important than anything else in his life. It is like his

> > "worship." He

> > > gets up at 4 or 5 in the morning so he can play before he goes

> to

> > work. He

> > > gets back on almost as soon as he gets home. We have a brief

> time

> > together while

> > > we eat dinner, and then he is back on. It is like being with

> somone

> > who is

> > > having an affair ... but with a machine. And I just can't wrap

> my

> > brain around

> > > it. We've talked, negotiated, everything, but eventually it all

> > goes back to

> > > the game being the most compelling aspect of his life. Perhaps

> if I

> > am able

> > > to put aside my selfish desire to share his time and attention

> and

> > apply

> > > those four attributes in the quote: "love and joy and peace and

> > compassion,"

> > > something may change, if only in my own heart and mind. Thank

> you

> > for posting

> > > quotes that are keeping me in a state of remembrance of what is

> > really

> > > important. Jai Maa , Jai Swamiji ~ Linda

> > >

> >

>