Guest guest Posted August 31, 2006 Report Share Posted August 31, 2006 Henny, You said: I personally am convinced Her > blessings reach you through the music and connect you with Her. That is so true. If you open your heart to her and center your mind on the music, allowing her bhava to envelop you, sometimes you can feel her come and touch your awareness with hers. Worship is the key to her heart, and her bhajans are always worship. Jai Maa! Chris , "henny_v_i" <henny_v_i wrote: > > Dear Senka, > > I am really not in a position to give you advice about sadhana, but I > would like to suggest one thing, because it helps me without fail in > every possible situation when I need strength or support or comfort: > listen to Shree Maa's music! One of the great advantages of just > listening is that you don't have to think or do anything. Just let the > music soothe you and comfort you. I personally am convinced Her > blessings reach you through the music and connect you with Her. > You can order the cd's via the website ('In the Temple of the Heart' > has beautiful lyrics in English) and there are some songs online for > you to listen to. > > I hope this helps you in some way, > may our Divine Mother bless you and comfort you, > > with love, > Henny > > > > > > , senka parks <swsaj@> wrote: > > > > okay...so i just read this after posting my last mesage > > > > and you have spoken to my soul! that is what i actually do...i > wallow in my self pity. this is what i do the minute i wake. i am in > much pain in the morning, and it takes about two hours to get out of > bed. i take pain releif first and move so slow. and all the while i am > thinking about how i do not wish to live another day. i do since i > have family. but they will move on and will i still be surrounded in > this pity i have for this material self? > > > > i am deeply helped by this posting. and i do need sadana. but what > is good sadana? i used to chant a mantra. but was so rote after some > years. it became a chore and empty....my heart was so black. but what > is a good mantra? what do i think of? can i let my spirit dance or is > this indulgence. i have been led so many ways, and i only wish for > truth in my heart. and shree maa is this to me. how do i serve her? > > > > in warmth > > senka > > > > Chris Kirner <chriskirner1956@> wrote: > Senka, > > > > How do I, who have so many more blessings than you, advise you? I > > cannot hope to truly understand your situation, the daily struggles > > you endure. I can only offer that which I have, and leave it to you > to > > do as you are able, and leave what doesn't really apply. Please > > forgive me if I say the wrong thing... > > > > It is natural to wonder why. It is normal to chafe under the burden > of > > our karmas, and the limitations of this existence. But it seems it > has > > perhaps gone too far for you, that the wondering and the chafing > have > > themselves become the burden? > > > > You must try to let go of this shame and self-pity. I know (believe > me > > I know) it is hard when such feelings have become so much a part of > > the mind. They constantly come bubbling up, coloring our every > > thought, making us miserable. They are not who you are - even > though > > it may seem that way. > > > > The past must learn to remain in the past. This will be very hard > for > > you, too, but it is necessary. > > > > (I feel like I'm writing to myself here!) > > > > You have not failed in your spiritual journey until you drop this > > physical body and stand before God and She says you have failed. > Until > > then there is always the opportunity for change, for renewed > effort, > > for grace. > > > > Purification of the mind and heart are necessary for you to be able > to > > be happy and let go of all this. Put yourself at the feet of God > and > > stay there. When your mind pulls you away, go back. That is the > only way. > > > > To do this it is necessary to establish a regular discipline. For > > disruptive thoughts and feelings I find mantra japa or path > > (recitation of scripture) very helpful. But puja is good too for > > distracting a darkened mind and leading it toward beauty and > devotion. > > And always, there is prayer. > > > > Sadhana is a commitment, and it requires effort and time. But just > as > > it took years for your mind to store up so much pain that it will > not > > let you rest now, so it will take some time to burn all that up. > But > > if you approach your sadhana, whatever it is, with faith and > devotion, > > and practice it diligently, it will help you. It needn't be > anything > > too complicated or difficult, either. Adapt your discipline to > > whatever your body will allow you to do. > > > > You might give some thought to perhaps writing to Maa or Swamiji > and > > telling them a little about yourself and ask what you should > practice. > > You can email them via a link on the main website www.shreemaa.org. > > > > I'm very happy you're here, and if anything I have written is of > help > > to you, I am happy I was here to help. God bless you! > > > > Jai Maa! > > Chris > > > > , senka parks <swsaj@> wrote: > > > > > > this post spoke to my heart > > > and i appreciate the blessings of those who write in to this > group. > > i do not write much as my hands do not work very well. but i read > > everything. and this spoke to me deeply. karma is an intricate and > > delicate force. i always wonder...what did i do and why do i suffer > if > > i dont know what i did. why was my life so filled with abuse, and > now > > so much physical pain with this illness?..and i often think i am so > > selfish and small to think that. and i should be glad i have the > > opportunity to "burn off" karma. but i still lament. i am still > alone > > and hurting. and this makes me feel so much shame. > > > > > > i seem to always yearn for some kind of peace. to be realized... > but > > in my mind it is pictured as a utopia. an inner utopia...maybe i am > so > > off track and that is why i feel i have failed in spiritual life. > > where do i go from here? > > > > > > in warmth > > > senka > > > > > > Chris Kirner <chriskirner1956@> wrote: > > Saswati, > > > > > > Please forgive me for replying to this post late. I have missed > the > > > last few days. Generally, I don't respond when the posts are > this old, > > > but your post just pulled at my heart. > > > > > > May Divine Mother bless you! May She help you to understand, and > may > > > She help you to accept what has happened to you, and the horror > of it > > > you endure again and again as the images of it keep bubbling up > from > > > within. > > > > > > I am not an expert on karma, so please accept what I have to say > as > > > simply my own imperfect conception (an educated one, I hope). > > > > > > Shree Maa has said that nothing happens by accident. I have to > accept > > > that (though I admit part of me rebels at that). > > > > > > That said, Swami Rama said that karma is group as well as > individual. > > > This makes sense to me, since much of what we experience as > > > individuals reflects the state of the world we live in. > > > > > > Swami Satyananda said after the tsunami in South Asia that Bhur > Devi > > > had shivered under the weight of the suffering in the world > (that was > > > from memory-probably not his exact words). Maa asks that we do > our > > > practices for the benefit of the world, saying that if we do so > we can > > > make this world a beautiful, peaceful place. > > > > > > So, we have people in poor countries who are experiencing wars > and > > > famines, who generally suffer a great deal, whose lives are very > > > difficult, and people in countries like the USA who largely > experience > > > the normal pains of human life, death, loss, and illness, but > whose > > > lives are otherwise peaceful and easy. > > > > > > These two experiences of life are diametrically opposed, and > yet, if > > > the sages are correct, they are linked. It is very deep, very > > mysterious. > > > > > > There are many people living, say, here in the USA, who seem to > me to > > > deserve to live in more difficult circumstances (closer to hell, > as it > > > were), and people in difficult environments who through their > goodness > > > and ability to inspire those around them seem to deserve a > better life > > > in better surroundings. How does one make sense of such things. > > > Ultimately, I think it is a matter of faith, until such time as > one > > > attains to the consciousness of divinity. > > > > > > There is, however, one final piece to this puzzle of karma. How > does > > > group karma interact with individual karma? > > > > > > It is readily apparent that one living in a poor place during a > famine > > > is more likely to go hungry or become ill. One living in a > peaceful > > > place with a good economy is less likely to become a victim of > > > violence or other suffering. But individuals in both > circumstances do > > > experience the opposite of what is generally true of the group, > > > violence and suffering in the midst of peace and plenty, and > health > > > and plenty in the midst of poverty and famine. These > differences, I > > > think, can only be explained by individual karma. > > > > > > You asked: > > > it is pssible that in my last life I did > > > > something so evil that my I am now the victim of my own > previous > > sins? > > > > > > My short answer to that would be "Yes." > > > > > > But I don't think it's quite as simple as saying you must have > been > > > "something so evil". I think (remember, it's just me thinking > > > here)that our group karma (and group karma includes not just our > > > neighborhood, city, and country, but ultimately the world) > leaves us > > > open as individuals to the experience of certain unpleasant > > > circumstances, even if we don't, individually, have a strong > karmic > > > requirement for them. > > > > > > Remember, if the sages are right, we have all of us lived > countless > > > lives, and so have a great store of karmas we carry from lives > we > > > cannot comprehend. > > > > > > So, in the absence of any contradicting individual karma, we > might > > > experience great suffering, simply because the world as a whole > > suffers. > > > > > > Think of it this way. If a man from a peaceful, affluent > neighborhood > > > in the states goes into a "bad" area of town late at night and > just > > > walks around looking wealthy, he is likely to be robbed and > perhaps > > > beaten or killed. If he had stayed in his own neighborhood it > likely > > > wouldn't have happened. This is an example of group karma > (violence > > > and poverty in the world-for which we all share responsibility) > being > > > played out individually, because of an unwise choice of > activities on > > > the part of the man. > > > > > > On the other hand, if there is a strong element of good karma in > a > > > person, it doesn't seem to matter what her circumstances, her > > > surroundings, are. Nothing "bad" will happen. > > > > > > Take the example of a plane crash. All are killed but one. Who > can > > > explain such an occurrence except that the person had such a > strong > > > karma against death or injury that despite all the others being > killed > > > she survived without a scratch. > > > > > > On the other hand, take the example of a plane crash where all > died. > > > How unlikely is it that an entire planeload of individuals were > > > "scheduled" to die on that specific day, or even that year? I > think > > > very unlikely. It seems far more likely to me that none of them > > > possessed a strong enough karma for living to escape their > > > circumstances. Had they stayed at home, most of them likely > would have > > > continued in their bodies for a time. > > > > > > All of this may seem somewhat disjointed, and it is. I don't > have "the > > > answers". These are simply the various aspects of karma as I see > them. > > > Somewhere in the midst of them all lies the reality. > > > > > > I know that an understanding of karma will not go far toward > easing > > > your pain, but it will help. Especially, I think, you can > understand > > > that on some level your suffering is not yours alone, but the > world's. > > > > > > Post traumatic experiences can be very difficult. It can take a > long, > > > long time (if ever) to become "yourself" again. It will get > better > > > with time, even if you do nothing, but one will heal much faster > and > > > much better if she can open her heart and develop a firm faith > and a > > > regular sadhana. > > > > > > You mentioned yoga and meditation. I think hatha yoga would be > good > > > for you. The postures and the pranayama help unblock the flow of > prana > > > in the subtle body, which is also the vehicle for the emotions. > You > > > can unblock the pain and strengthen the nadis so that intense > emotion > > > will be less disruptive. > > > > > > Meditation practice, on the other hand, in my opinion, would be > less > > > beneficial that other things. You'ld probably do a lot better > learning > > > to do puja or practicing regular mantra japa or path (recitation > of > > > scripture). Later, when the emotions and mind have been purified > a > > > little from this stress, meditation will come of its own accord. > > > > > > I cannot answer "why" for you, except to say that in this world > > > sometimes we suffer. Should God have chosen another to suffer in > your > > > place? Are you any less, or more deserving than another? I > cannot say. > > > But this much I have from the sages, that God is not the cause > of any > > > of the suffering in this world, we are. Just as we create the > > > circumstances for suffering in this world, so can we create the > > > circumstances for peace. This is Shree Maa's desire for us. > > > > > > May God bless you and help you to burn this experience in the > fire of > > > knowledge and devotion. > > > > > > Jai Maa! > > > Chris > > > > > > , "sbramaswami" > > > <saswati_ramaswami@> wrote: > > > > > > > > What an interesting discussion. Thank you all for letting me > take > > > part. I have a question > > > > regarding Chris' earlier thoughts on whether "bad" things can > happen > > > to a person and how > > > > to allow oneself to make friends with all experiences. I have > some > > > very traumatic, violent > > > > experiences in my past. When these memories come back up what > do I > > > do? How do I > > > > reconcile myself with them? I try to accept them by telling > myself > > > that there is a greater > > > > reason for everything, but I just don't understando. it is > pssible > > > that in my last life I did > > > > something so evil that my I am now the victim of my own > previous > > > sins? It certainly > > > > doesn't bring me solace to think that I could have behaved > this way > > > toward another being. > > > > Also, I do not know how to feel about my offender. Is it right > to > > > feel anger and bitterness > > > > toward him or the things that he did to me? Or should I accept > him > > > and forgive him, as he > > > > was only a vehicle for carrying out my karma? When these > > > experiences come up, I feel > > > > tremendous sadness and instability. How do I deal with this? > Do I > > > just surrender to the > > > > pain, as I have been trying? How do I try to stop asking > "WHY", as > > > I have been trying, > > > > unsuccessfully? What can be the greater lessson in > experiencing > > > torture? How does this > > > > type of experience help a person grow? I keep asking God > whether > > > there wasn't a different > > > > way that I could have learned the same lesson. How do I "show > > > respect" to these > > > > memories, to this time in my life, to my offender? I know > that the > > > ultimate answer is to > > > > learn to detach from all of this through mediation and yoga. > This is > > > my greatest goal, > > > > though sometimes I feel I am so far from reaching it. Any > advice > > > would be so appreciated. > > > > Much love and respect for all. > > > > > > > > Saswati > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Make free worldwide PC-to-PC calls. Try the new Canada > > Messenger with Voice > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Share your photos with the people who matter at Canada Photos > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2006 Report Share Posted September 1, 2006 i did this. one can listen right on line and never have i had tears before with music. my entire being was stirred. blessings to you for sharing this and many humble thanks in warmth senka Chris Kirner <chriskirner1956 > wrote: Henny, You said: I personally am convinced Her > blessings reach you through the music and connect you with Her. That is so true. If you open your heart to her and center your mind on the music, allowing her bhava to envelop you, sometimes you can feel her come and touch your awareness with hers. Worship is the key to her heart, and her bhajans are always worship. Jai Maa! Chris , "henny_v_i" <henny_v_i wrote: > > Dear Senka, > > I am really not in a position to give you advice about sadhana, but I > would like to suggest one thing, because it helps me without fail in > every possible situation when I need strength or support or comfort: > listen to Shree Maa's music! One of the great advantages of just > listening is that you don't have to think or do anything. Just let the > music soothe you and comfort you. I personally am convinced Her > blessings reach you through the music and connect you with Her. > You can order the cd's via the website ('In the Temple of the Heart' > has beautiful lyrics in English) and there are some songs online for > you to listen to. > > I hope this helps you in some way, > may our Divine Mother bless you and comfort you, > > with love, > Henny > > > > > > , senka parks <swsaj@> wrote: > > > > okay...so i just read this after posting my last mesage > > > > and you have spoken to my soul! that is what i actually do...i > wallow in my self pity. this is what i do the minute i wake. i am in > much pain in the morning, and it takes about two hours to get out of > bed. i take pain releif first and move so slow. and all the while i am > thinking about how i do not wish to live another day. i do since i > have family. but they will move on and will i still be surrounded in > this pity i have for this material self? > > > > i am deeply helped by this posting. and i do need sadana. but what > is good sadana? i used to chant a mantra. but was so rote after some > years. it became a chore and empty....my heart was so black. but what > is a good mantra? what do i think of? can i let my spirit dance or is > this indulgence. i have been led so many ways, and i only wish for > truth in my heart. and shree maa is this to me. how do i serve her? > > > > in warmth > > senka > > > > Chris Kirner <chriskirner1956@> wrote: > Senka, > > > > How do I, who have so many more blessings than you, advise you? I > > cannot hope to truly understand your situation, the daily struggles > > you endure. I can only offer that which I have, and leave it to you > to > > do as you are able, and leave what doesn't really apply. Please > > forgive me if I say the wrong thing... > > > > It is natural to wonder why. It is normal to chafe under the burden > of > > our karmas, and the limitations of this existence. But it seems it > has > > perhaps gone too far for you, that the wondering and the chafing > have > > themselves become the burden? > > > > You must try to let go of this shame and self-pity. I know (believe > me > > I know) it is hard when such feelings have become so much a part of > > the mind. They constantly come bubbling up, coloring our every > > thought, making us miserable. They are not who you are - even > though > > it may seem that way. > > > > The past must learn to remain in the past. This will be very hard > for > > you, too, but it is necessary. > > > > (I feel like I'm writing to myself here!) > > > > You have not failed in your spiritual journey until you drop this > > physical body and stand before God and She says you have failed. > Until > > then there is always the opportunity for change, for renewed > effort, > > for grace. > > > > Purification of the mind and heart are necessary for you to be able > to > > be happy and let go of all this. Put yourself at the feet of God > and > > stay there. When your mind pulls you away, go back. That is the > only way. > > > > To do this it is necessary to establish a regular discipline. For > > disruptive thoughts and feelings I find mantra japa or path > > (recitation of scripture) very helpful. But puja is good too for > > distracting a darkened mind and leading it toward beauty and > devotion. > > And always, there is prayer. > > > > Sadhana is a commitment, and it requires effort and time. But just > as > > it took years for your mind to store up so much pain that it will > not > > let you rest now, so it will take some time to burn all that up. > But > > if you approach your sadhana, whatever it is, with faith and > devotion, > > and practice it diligently, it will help you. It needn't be > anything > > too complicated or difficult, either. Adapt your discipline to > > whatever your body will allow you to do. > > > > You might give some thought to perhaps writing to Maa or Swamiji > and > > telling them a little about yourself and ask what you should > practice. > > You can email them via a link on the main website www.shreemaa.org. > > > > I'm very happy you're here, and if anything I have written is of > help > > to you, I am happy I was here to help. God bless you! > > > > Jai Maa! > > Chris > > > > , senka parks <swsaj@> wrote: > > > > > > this post spoke to my heart > > > and i appreciate the blessings of those who write in to this > group. > > i do not write much as my hands do not work very well. but i read > > everything. and this spoke to me deeply. karma is an intricate and > > delicate force. i always wonder...what did i do and why do i suffer > if > > i dont know what i did. why was my life so filled with abuse, and > now > > so much physical pain with this illness?..and i often think i am so > > selfish and small to think that. and i should be glad i have the > > opportunity to "burn off" karma. but i still lament. i am still > alone > > and hurting. and this makes me feel so much shame. > > > > > > i seem to always yearn for some kind of peace. to be realized... > but > > in my mind it is pictured as a utopia. an inner utopia...maybe i am > so > > off track and that is why i feel i have failed in spiritual life. > > where do i go from here? > > > > > > in warmth > > > senka > > > > > > Chris Kirner <chriskirner1956@> wrote: > > Saswati, > > > > > > Please forgive me for replying to this post late. I have missed > the > > > last few days. Generally, I don't respond when the posts are > this old, > > > but your post just pulled at my heart. > > > > > > May Divine Mother bless you! May She help you to understand, and > may > > > She help you to accept what has happened to you, and the horror > of it > > > you endure again and again as the images of it keep bubbling up > from > > > within. > > > > > > I am not an expert on karma, so please accept what I have to say > as > > > simply my own imperfect conception (an educated one, I hope). > > > > > > Shree Maa has said that nothing happens by accident. I have to > accept > > > that (though I admit part of me rebels at that). > > > > > > That said, Swami Rama said that karma is group as well as > individual. > > > This makes sense to me, since much of what we experience as > > > individuals reflects the state of the world we live in. > > > > > > Swami Satyananda said after the tsunami in South Asia that Bhur > Devi > > > had shivered under the weight of the suffering in the world > (that was > > > from memory-probably not his exact words). Maa asks that we do > our > > > practices for the benefit of the world, saying that if we do so > we can > > > make this world a beautiful, peaceful place. > > > > > > So, we have people in poor countries who are experiencing wars > and > > > famines, who generally suffer a great deal, whose lives are very > > > difficult, and people in countries like the USA who largely > experience > > > the normal pains of human life, death, loss, and illness, but > whose > > > lives are otherwise peaceful and easy. > > > > > > These two experiences of life are diametrically opposed, and > yet, if > > > the sages are correct, they are linked. It is very deep, very > > mysterious. > > > > > > There are many people living, say, here in the USA, who seem to > me to > > > deserve to live in more difficult circumstances (closer to hell, > as it > > > were), and people in difficult environments who through their > goodness > > > and ability to inspire those around them seem to deserve a > better life > > > in better surroundings. How does one make sense of such things. > > > Ultimately, I think it is a matter of faith, until such time as > one > > > attains to the consciousness of divinity. > > > > > > There is, however, one final piece to this puzzle of karma. How > does > > > group karma interact with individual karma? > > > > > > It is readily apparent that one living in a poor place during a > famine > > > is more likely to go hungry or become ill. One living in a > peaceful > > > place with a good economy is less likely to become a victim of > > > violence or other suffering. But individuals in both > circumstances do > > > experience the opposite of what is generally true of the group, > > > violence and suffering in the midst of peace and plenty, and > health > > > and plenty in the midst of poverty and famine. These > differences, I > > > think, can only be explained by individual karma. > > > > > > You asked: > > > it is pssible that in my last life I did > > > > something so evil that my I am now the victim of my own > previous > > sins? > > > > > > My short answer to that would be "Yes." > > > > > > But I don't think it's quite as simple as saying you must have > been > > > "something so evil". I think (remember, it's just me thinking > > > here)that our group karma (and group karma includes not just our > > > neighborhood, city, and country, but ultimately the world) > leaves us > > > open as individuals to the experience of certain unpleasant > > > circumstances, even if we don't, individually, have a strong > karmic > > > requirement for them. > > > > > > Remember, if the sages are right, we have all of us lived > countless > > > lives, and so have a great store of karmas we carry from lives > we > > > cannot comprehend. > > > > > > So, in the absence of any contradicting individual karma, we > might > > > experience great suffering, simply because the world as a whole > > suffers. > > > > > > Think of it this way. If a man from a peaceful, affluent > neighborhood > > > in the states goes into a "bad" area of town late at night and > just > > > walks around looking wealthy, he is likely to be robbed and > perhaps > > > beaten or killed. If he had stayed in his own neighborhood it > likely > > > wouldn't have happened. This is an example of group karma > (violence > > > and poverty in the world-for which we all share responsibility) > being > > > played out individually, because of an unwise choice of > activities on > > > the part of the man. > > > > > > On the other hand, if there is a strong element of good karma in > a > > > person, it doesn't seem to matter what her circumstances, her > > > surroundings, are. Nothing "bad" will happen. > > > > > > Take the example of a plane crash. All are killed but one. Who > can > > > explain such an occurrence except that the person had such a > strong > > > karma against death or injury that despite all the others being > killed > > > she survived without a scratch. > > > > > > On the other hand, take the example of a plane crash where all > died. > > > How unlikely is it that an entire planeload of individuals were > > > "scheduled" to die on that specific day, or even that year? I > think > > > very unlikely. It seems far more likely to me that none of them > > > possessed a strong enough karma for living to escape their > > > circumstances. Had they stayed at home, most of them likely > would have > > > continued in their bodies for a time. > > > > > > All of this may seem somewhat disjointed, and it is. I don't > have "the > > > answers". These are simply the various aspects of karma as I see > them. > > > Somewhere in the midst of them all lies the reality. > > > > > > I know that an understanding of karma will not go far toward > easing > > > your pain, but it will help. Especially, I think, you can > understand > > > that on some level your suffering is not yours alone, but the > world's. > > > > > > Post traumatic experiences can be very difficult. It can take a > long, > > > long time (if ever) to become "yourself" again. It will get > better > > > with time, even if you do nothing, but one will heal much faster > and > > > much better if she can open her heart and develop a firm faith > and a > > > regular sadhana. > > > > > > You mentioned yoga and meditation. I think hatha yoga would be > good > > > for you. The postures and the pranayama help unblock the flow of > prana > > > in the subtle body, which is also the vehicle for the emotions. > You > > > can unblock the pain and strengthen the nadis so that intense > emotion > > > will be less disruptive. > > > > > > Meditation practice, on the other hand, in my opinion, would be > less > > > beneficial that other things. You'ld probably do a lot better > learning > > > to do puja or practicing regular mantra japa or path (recitation > of > > > scripture). Later, when the emotions and mind have been purified > a > > > little from this stress, meditation will come of its own accord. > > > > > > I cannot answer "why" for you, except to say that in this world > > > sometimes we suffer. Should God have chosen another to suffer in > your > > > place? Are you any less, or more deserving than another? I > cannot say. > > > But this much I have from the sages, that God is not the cause > of any > > > of the suffering in this world, we are. Just as we create the > > > circumstances for suffering in this world, so can we create the > > > circumstances for peace. This is Shree Maa's desire for us. > > > > > > May God bless you and help you to burn this experience in the > fire of > > > knowledge and devotion. > > > > > > Jai Maa! > > > Chris > > > > > > , "sbramaswami" > > > <saswati_ramaswami@> wrote: > > > > > > > > What an interesting discussion. Thank you all for letting me > take > > > part. I have a question > > > > regarding Chris' earlier thoughts on whether "bad" things can > happen > > > to a person and how > > > > to allow oneself to make friends with all experiences. I have > some > > > very traumatic, violent > > > > experiences in my past. When these memories come back up what > do I > > > do? How do I > > > > reconcile myself with them? I try to accept them by telling > myself > > > that there is a greater > > > > reason for everything, but I just don't understando. it is > pssible > > > that in my last life I did > > > > something so evil that my I am now the victim of my own > previous > > > sins? It certainly > > > > doesn't bring me solace to think that I could have behaved > this way > > > toward another being. > > > > Also, I do not know how to feel about my offender. Is it right > to > > > feel anger and bitterness > > > > toward him or the things that he did to me? Or should I accept > him > > > and forgive him, as he > > > > was only a vehicle for carrying out my karma? When these > > > experiences come up, I feel > > > > tremendous sadness and instability. How do I deal with this? > Do I > > > just surrender to the > > > > pain, as I have been trying? How do I try to stop asking > "WHY", as > > > I have been trying, > > > > unsuccessfully? What can be the greater lessson in > experiencing > > > torture? How does this > > > > type of experience help a person grow? I keep asking God > whether > > > there wasn't a different > > > > way that I could have learned the same lesson. How do I "show > > > respect" to these > > > > memories, to this time in my life, to my offender? I know > that the > > > ultimate answer is to > > > > learn to detach from all of this through mediation and yoga. > This is > > > my greatest goal, > > > > though sometimes I feel I am so far from reaching it. Any > advice > > > would be so appreciated. > > > > Much love and respect for all. > > > > > > > > Saswati > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Make free worldwide PC-to-PC calls. Try the new Canada > > Messenger with Voice > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Share your photos with the people who matter at Canada Photos > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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