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The Chemistry of My Whackyness

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There are 4 medicines involved in my situation, and each one does a

different part.

 

Lithium quiets the whirlwind of vocal sounds or thoughts in the mind. It

gets rid of it completely actually, when your Lithium level is up enough.

This is the one I¹m upping right now, and I¹m getting more needed ³quiet² in

the mind. Withtout it, my head becomes home to constant overlapping

thoughts by the hundreds, it¹s too much, it¹s unbearable, and it starts to

go negative and dark, and you really go down. So Lithium is needed.

 

Lexapro ups the serotonin, a needed chemical in the brain for

thinking...without it, you get very antsy, reclusive, tired, sad, angry,

basically depressed.

 

Klonopin for times when somehow the panic sets in anyway. Total panic is so

devastating an emotion that you need something just for it.

 

All of the above, living with the original problems and these solutions, is

very troublesome in itself. The loss of dignity, the shame, the feeling that

you¹re ³messed up² is very heavy...especially the thought that you are

mentally deficient in some way, is very shaming and damning.

 

So, to feel better, you or I, smoke pot, which makes you feel more

comfortable and happy overall. It does not however do what the above drugs

do. It is not a replacement. It¹s different and unique on it¹s own...it

brings euphoria mostly, so a sense of real happiness is possible.

 

>From my experiences with people, watching out through my chemical eyes,

remembering my past before all this, and watching people today who are

totally drug free of all types, and those who are wealthy verse not, and so

many things, I can see that people ³feel² very differently...so it¹s an area

you are either blessed in or not.

 

Some are very sensitive, and in a dark way, some in a light way, some are

lighthearted no matter what, and rarely experience fear, and others feel

fear always.

 

I¹m not surprised, with my chart, that I have problems, including right now.

 

I do after all have a moon which is with ketu and aspected by sani and in

sani¹s sign.

 

That¹s enough, but add the navamsa and it¹s worse.

 

Interesting to see what this Sani in Leo transit will do...it opposes my

saturnized moon.

 

In talking to me, people say...²Give up pot². They say it so easily.

 

Some of us, me being one, when we do that, we feel withdrawal feelings you

would not believe...and me, with my condition, the antsy feelings start the

bi polar stuff going ... It busts through the lithium layer and starts it

all up anyway. It¹s awful.

 

I hate having to take all these things.

 

I hate what pot does. I hate life without it equally or more.

 

I am made, born, to feel shitty. It¹s in my chart, and I do. I always did.

 

If you look at the pattern of renunciation in my life, for the sake of God

and religion, it¹s pretty amazing...it was going on early and consistent....

 

It¹s always been hard for me to have basic peace of mind. I was very sharp

as a kid, and was seeing spiritual facts very early. The reality set in

very early.

 

Herb has been one of my medicines. I think for some it is such.

 

But I wish I was peaceful, sharp, clear, simple, working, no problems,

certainly no brain problems, but I have to see that this is one place where

I wasn¹t totally blessed in life. I¹ve been blessed in many ways however.

This is one place where not so.

 

>From my angle of vision, because of the above stated reasons, sometimes I

have to chuckle at some people¹s perceptions of the kinds of meds I take and

mostly about ganja, pot, herb, marijuana. The fear, and the misperceptions,

and the attitudes.

 

 

 

 

Richard Edward Wurst

Formerly known as Das Goravani

 

das (AT) goravani (DOT) com

 

 

Secure online ordering of

Goravani Jyotish 2.5 and Jyotish Studio 3 (JS3)

For Hindu Astrology Software and Lessons (Jyotish)

Now on DVD!

 

 

 

For Original Celtic Art Paintings

http://www.goravani.com/art.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

or

Please use email if at all possible

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Everything takes up "space"...where there appears to be a lack...something will begin to fill in the emptiness. I honestly don't believe that you are messed up. I just believe that we are "different" from many people...and experience things in different ways. It's neither good nor bad...just "different". I've talked with God...and I honestly believe that he loves us both....just as we are. He has never appeared to me to be anti-drug, anti-this or anti-that...He is just all about love. Love yourself more & don't worry about what...everyone else...thinks. To God, to me...and probably to many people...you are "special" in your own way. {{Hugs}}

 

Das Goravani <das (AT) goravani (DOT) com> wrote:

There are 4 medicines involved in my situation, and each one does a

different part.

 

Lithium quiets the whirlwind of vocal sounds or thoughts in the mind. It

gets rid of it completely actually, when your Lithium level is up enough.

This is the one I¹m upping right now, and I¹m getting more needed ³quiet² in

the mind. Withtout it, my head becomes home to constant overlapping

thoughts by the hundreds, it¹s too much, it¹s unbearable, and it starts to

go negative and dark, and you really go down. So Lithium is needed.

 

Lexapro ups the serotonin, a needed chemical in the brain for

thinking...without it, you get very antsy, reclusive, tired, sad, angry,

basically depressed.

 

Klonopin for times when somehow the panic sets in anyway. Total panic is so

devastating an emotion that you need something just for it.

 

All of the above, living with the original problems and these solutions, is

very troublesome in itself. The loss of dignity, the shame, the feeling that

you¹re ³messed up² is very heavy...especially the thought that you are

mentally deficient in some way, is very shaming and damning.

 

So, to feel better, you or I, smoke pot, which makes you feel more

comfortable and happy overall. It does not however do what the above drugs

do. It is not a replacement. It¹s different and unique on it¹s own...it

brings euphoria mostly, so a sense of real happiness is possible.

 

>From my experiences with people, watching out through my chemical eyes,

remembering my past before all this, and watching people today who are

totally drug free of all types, and those who are wealthy verse not, and so

many things, I can see that people ³feel² very differently...so it¹s an area

you are either blessed in or not.

 

Some are very sensitive, and in a dark way, some in a light way, some are

lighthearted no matter what, and rarely experience fear, and others feel

fear always.

 

I¹m not surprised, with my chart, that I have problems, including right now.

 

I do after all have a moon which is with ketu and aspected by sani and in

sani¹s sign.

 

That¹s enough, but add the navamsa and it¹s worse.

 

Interesting to see what this Sani in Leo transit will do...it opposes my

saturnized moon.

 

In talking to me, people say...²Give up pot². They say it so easily.

 

Some of us, me being one, when we do that, we feel withdrawal feelings you

would not believe...and me, with my condition, the antsy feelings start the

bi polar stuff going ... It busts through the lithium layer and starts it

all up anyway. It¹s awful.

 

I hate having to take all these things.

 

I hate what pot does. I hate life without it equally or more.

 

I am made, born, to feel shitty. It¹s in my chart, and I do. I always did..

 

If you look at the pattern of renunciation in my life, for the sake of God

and religion, it¹s pretty amazing...it was going on early and consistent....

 

It¹s always been hard for me to have basic peace of mind. I was very sharp

as a kid, and was seeing spiritual facts very early. The reality set in

very early.

 

Herb has been one of my medicines. I think for some it is such.

 

But I wish I was peaceful, sharp, clear, simple, working, no problems,

certainly no brain problems, but I have to see that this is one place where

I wasn¹t totally blessed in life. I¹ve been blessed in many ways however.

This is one place where not so.

 

>From my angle of vision, because of the above stated reasons, sometimes I

have to chuckle at some people¹s perceptions of the kinds of meds I take and

mostly about ganja, pot, herb, marijuana. The fear, and the misperceptions,

and the attitudes.

 

Richard Edward Wurst

Formerly known as Das Goravani

 

das (AT) goravani (DOT) com

 

Secure online ordering of

Goravani Jyotish 2.5 and Jyotish Studio 3 (JS3)

For Hindu Astrology Software and Lessons (Jyotish)

Now on DVD!

 

 

For Original Celtic Art Paintings

http://www.goravani.com/art.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

or

Please use email if at all possible

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