Wounds, Change and Transformation

[Guest guest]

Maxz wrote : Our impulse is to pull away from the pain, rather than

look at it. We will be freed if we can turn toward it, examine

deeply, and pull up the underlying bondage from its roots.

 

 

Yes this is what I've been thinking. Its much easier to nurse

another person's wound but it is much more difficult to dress our

own wounds especially deep wounds. When we see the dirts or the

dead cells or the infected slough, do we have the courage enough to

remove them, to slice them off from our flesh, to let it bleed so

that the new cells can grow.

 

The last time I remember ever dress my own deep wounds is when I'm

only 12-13 yrs old, when I have huge boils along my upper leg, and I

have to for a surgery to get it removed. Daily thereafter I have to

go to the local polyclinic to get it clean. That is perhaps the

first time I got really fascinated with wounds. The first time I get

the glimpse of my own flesh and the feeling of having it touch. I

would insist in wanting to look whenever the nurse did the

dressings. So they have to bring in the mirror for me. Seeing my

enthusiasm, the nurse eventually taught me how to clean the wound

and allow me to do it myself at home. I only come back to the clinic

4-5 days once, for them to access the wound. The wound eventually

heal. But that experience is what keeps on coming back to me now as

we talk about healing our own wounds.

 

Earlier we talk about Change and Transformation : and I remarked :

 

Navarathri is about change… about transformation… about how we can

transcend to be Durga herself. Who is Durga.. or rather what is a

DURGA? Bhavaninama Sahasrstutih names 047 said DURGA is "The one

difficult of access…. The nature of DurgA is free one from peril …

seated above all the powers " T.V Narayana Menon commentary "Durga

is one who turns the mind away from its thirst for evil and

establishes it in the pursuit of good".

 

The Sadhana of Durga both the goddess and the demons are perceived

as being within oneself. The Durgic process allows us to see the

shadow of the self, the pleasant and the unpleasant within ourself,

goading us onward to continue strengthening the pleasant aspect in

us till we shine, truly shine - like HER - and this process of

strengthening is a continuous one until one is refined and

amalgamated.

 

I remember when we were talking about Devi as Lover, and how I

continuously try to assert my opinion that DEVI as lover is the

highest form of devotion. DP Singh responded by saying : As a matter

of fact, from what I gathered, the lover form is for those who are

not elevated enough that they can concentrate on the form of "Devi"

in satvaki guna, also referred to as "pashu pravarati".( I did not

make this up, I actually read it..

 

 

My response thereafter is : I am amused with the above statement.

Because it is amusing. It is a trap we all fall very often [

including me ] and yet we do not realize it. A trap create by our

own perception. The very walls that block our vision. On one side I

reacted fiercely when sangar narayanan said that Dhoomavathi"

sadhana, is a lower state form of sadhana and yet here I go around

insisting that DEVI as lover mode of devotion is superior.

 

How often have I've encountered this statement as I chatted with

people :"I'm told in my previous life I'm a high priest from Tibet….

Or I think maybe in my previous life, I'm a high cast Brahmin,,, and

I treated the lower caste people badly… maybe that is why I'm back

here to learnt humility etc…." At one moment we talk about

humility.. to accept others equally but at the back of our mind, we

have this fancy thoughts of ourselves being a high caste or high

priest et. Isn't this a trap. The ego trapping us indirectly. I

don't know this is what I see.

 

Real transformation is when we are willing to strip ourselves of

everything? What is this everything? The walls that block our

visions? What are these walls ? Our Peception? Our learnt

behaviour? Our thoughts?

[Guest guest]

Real transformation is when we are willing to strip ourselves of

everything? What is this everything? The walls that block our

visions? What are these walls ? Our Peception? Our learnt

behaviour? Our thoughts?

 

 

Walls are the safety buffer zone we create around ourselves. Removing

the walls, makes us feel very vulnerable and insecure. The walls are

our familiar thoughts and our basic pattern of behaviour. We continue

to recreate the same all the time without having any desire to try to

move into fresh ground. We have this fear of making that move, because

of our own fear. Fear of being hurt.

 

Real transformation is when we have remove all these walls, and have

the ability to look back. To really see the safety buffer zone we once

enclosed ourselves in and the ability to see the difference.

[Guest guest]

>Fear of being hurt.

 

yes, exactly. this is at the root of so much behavior, calculation,

and motivation.

 

Max

--

Max Dashu

 

Art in Goddess Reverence

http://www.maxdashu.net