how to be uneffected by others attitude?

[sailu]

hare krishna !

when ever i am hurt by people's bad attitude towards me....i ponder over a question....how to be uneffected by others attitude towards us?

i don't hate, i don't argue, i don't want revenge, but i feel sad for those harsh words and rude behavior thrown upon me by the people i care..... i want to achieve a state in which i can be immune to these emotions.

can any one on this spiritual abode help me how to achive it?

i shall be very greatful to u all.

thanks

-s.

[Guest guest]

Can you minimize your contact and dealings with them? i.e. "engage" with them less?

 

If unavoidable then have Darshan of Deities as much as you can, They are the psychologists in Hinduism, providing healing strength and energy. Do as many purificatory practices as possible such as Tulasi Puja and bring flowers to the Deity. Purify your life as much as possible like go to Mangala Arotik at a temple every day to obtain like a Cosmic Shield of Protection from Deity Darshan. Try to eat only prasada and be as pure as possible internally and externally. Then you will become like spiritual Superman or Superwoman and you will feel an aura of protection around you, by grace of God.

 

 

 

Think of the many sants like Sage Prahlad who suffered and suffered rebukes from his father again and again. Think of Vidura in Bhag Gita he was the most saintly and peacenik one and all dissed him. Think of Haridas Thakur whipped in 21 marketplaces, then you know you are in the company of the saints.

 

Think of humorous sayings of Saints such as in Catholicism had one lady Saint Teresa of Avila, everything she did was unselfish and only to benefit and help others, always thinking of God, etc. Then one day she was riding in bullock cart to town because no BMW or Mercedes back then. And it was very muddy road not paved and raining very heavily, then the bullock cart

fell over and she was soaking wet covered in mud. The she said, "Well no wonder nobody wants to be religious if this is how you treat Your friends."

and she is joking and chastising God why he is giving suffering to saints.

 

Then think of how one Goswamis he chastises his Thakurjis: "You made me fall down off tree while I was collecting fruits for you, so NO FRUITS FOR YOU TODAY!!! ONLY DRY CHAPATI AND NO SALT!!!" And think of another Goswami so sad and crying and wanting to leave his body in separation, then another one decides to write "Dana Keli Komedi" for him to trick him into laughing. Don't imitate but think of as a laughter therapy for yourself.

 

 

 

In Buddhism when bad things happen they pray, "By this suffering, may all of the sufferings of all living beings in the world be cleansed." And internally they thank their enemies for helping them to use up the store of papa [bad credits] they had accumulated by suffering patiently the reactions of past bad misdeeds or by simply learning a lesson if not from past bad misdeeds.

 

 

 

In Shivaite they go to a river and take a basket of flowers and for every sad thought, they throw a flower into the river and watch it being carried away, feeling your worries and cares float away also: Ganga Puja Sadhana. Or write out all of the things you want to say to who hurt you and then burn it in an ordinary [not sacred] fire, then watch your bad feelings float away via the smoke: Vasana Daha Tantra.

 

They also recommend that it's very inportant to avoid some people who are always hurting you if possible because in this world are the demonic and divine nature people. And unless you are extremely pure saint the demoniac people can really really hurt you, even your own family member in Kali Yuga.

[Guest guest]

Think to yourself:

 

"I'm rubber and you're glue: anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you." or "Twinkle twinkle little star, what YOU say is what YOU are."

 

 

Then that pretty much puts everything back into the proper perspective.

[Bishadi]

 

Think to yourself:

 

"I'm rubber and you're glue: anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you." or "Twinkle twinkle little star, what YOU say is what YOU are."

 

 

Then that pretty much puts everything back into the proper perspective.

 

Who are this Guest, invite him/her over for tea!!!!

 

 

 

Bishadi

[Bishadi]

 

hare krishna !

when ever i am hurt by people's bad attitude towards me....i ponder over a question....how to be uneffected by others attitude towards us?

i don't hate, i don't argue, i don't want revenge, but i feel sad for those harsh words and rude behavior thrown upon me by the people i care..... i want to achieve a state in which i can be immune to these emotions.

can any one on this spiritual abode help me how to achive it?

i shall be very greatful to u all.

thanks

-s.

 

You are on the right track since you never want to 'not' feel.

 

What a beautiful person to write such a thing, .."but i feel sad for those harsh words and rude behavior thrown upon me by the people i care......"

 

Good People!

 

When this sense of humility is alive, the ongoing 'pain' will be felt until each feel the compassion and care for others as you do.

 

Your one, I am trying, that's one and a half, .... any more volunteers?

[Guest guest]

It is easier to say than to do. There are many people who are victims of bad and evil surroundings but everybody can not be a saint. To become saint, one need to give up everything and live away from this materialistic world without even family life.

 

If some poeple are rude/harsh, it can still be understood, but what about those who are harrassed wherever they goes and still they can not be a saint due to bondage of their family. If you are saint, nobody would say harsh words to you.

 

What about those people living on this planet, under the spell of black magic/ghosts and still the cruel people around them torture them with their collective intelligence. This world is a relative world. If you see others are suffering more than you, you will forget your sufferings.

 

Every suffering is not a result of the our past misdeeds but can be a test for better results ahead. For example, the sufferings of a saint is not the result of his past bad actions.

[sailu]

Thanks to u all for i feel that god has spoken to me in all your voices and helped me find the path to reach my goal of life .

i feel courageous....here after when ever i am hurt i shall bear the pain thinking that ' my past misdeeds are being erased with my present pain and i shall embrace the suffering untill the suffering suffocates ,hates and leaves me' !!

 

Once again many thanks for those beautiful suggesions and supporting words from u all.

-S

[Guest guest]

In one book I read the Tibetan teacher said that in Tibet religious people think like this: when we are enjoying actually we should be lamenting as our stock of pious credits is being used up. And when we are suffering we actually should be rejoicing because now our stock of impious credits is being burned to ashes.

 

Also when thousands of Tibetans were imprisoned by the Chinese and tortured, they were not mad at their assailants but only feeling sorry for them how ignorant they were, knowing that in a future birth how much they will have to be suffering for torturing pious people like monks and nuns.

 

In the Srimad Bhagavatam it describes what happens to those who torture and hurt pious people and the saints, by their words or deeds. They are ground up between millstones in a hellish realm or loka, but kept alive so they can feel it and re-experience it again and again. This happens with the subtle body, that is how you can keep on experiencing it again and again.

 

And even in English is the word, "crushed": "I was so happy and then by his sharp words to me I was crushed." It is a type of devastating feeling. So anyone who ever hurts you is actually really hurting themselves in a future birth or perhaps even in this lifetime. They will feel some devastation of some kind when they least expect it or want it.