if you want anything else you have to get married

[Guest guest]

"As a brahmacari all you have is service to your guru, and if you want

anything else you have to get married." Radhanath Swami

 

 

 

I must admit I was puzzled when I first read this some years back, it was

taped on the inside door of Baladeva Prabhu's locker in the Radha Gopinath

Brahmcari Ashram. I must also confess that for quite a long time I really

had no clue what Radhanatha Maharaj was talking about. I always heard him

talking about service attitude but frankly speaking I didn't have a clue

what that was. I think maybe at that time I thought I did, but now I realize

I actually didn't. I still don't really but I'm beginning to understand a

little bit. Any how that particular quote really stood out for me, because

it is such a powerful and definitive statement and yet it was elusively

mysterious. At that time I was really trying to understand what it meant to

be a brahmacari and what I need to do to remain as a brahmacari for the rest

of my life, and here it was yet it couldn't decipher its meaning. I could

understand the words, but they were meaningless because I was no where near

the state of consciousness necessary to grasp such a deep spiritual

principle.

 

 

 

The literal definition of the word brahmacari is someone who is acting or

moving, from the Sanskrit word cara, on the spiritual plane, from the word

brahma. So a brahmacari is someone who is acting on the eternal platform of

the soul rather than on the temporary platform of the body. Therefore on its

most basic level brahmacarya means celibacy, rather than sexually active

relationships. As a male body it is natural that "I" (meaning my

body) should have sex with other female bodies. The male species is

physiologically and psychology perfectly attracted to and attractive to the

female body. they are designed that way. Otherwise we wouldn't be

here. Every species procreates. Sex makes the world go round. But as a

spirit soul I have nothing to do with this material body male or female, and

no interest in anyone else's body, and especially no interest in sex. Sex is

two bodies relating to one another, love is two souls relating to each

other. So if being a brahmacari means acting on the spiritual platform what

does that mean. In vedantic language the spiritual platform is denoted

as aham brahmasmi, I am sprit. But what does it mean to act on that

platform? Daso' smi, I am a servant. Aham brahmasmi should lead to the

natural conclusion of daso' smi. Unfortunately it often leads to the

erroneous conclusion Aham Parama Brahmasmi, I am the supreme Personality of

Godhead

 

 

 

So, inherent in any discussion on the topic of brahmcarya is the topic

servitude, because to serve is our constitutional position, and brahmcarya

is acting in our constitutional position.

 

 

 

Now we will shift from ontological to practical. What does service have to

do with brahmcarya? This is multifacted issue and I will try to explore this

crucial topic.

 

 

 

Brahmacarya is the foundation of the success of the rest of the ashrams. The

lessons one learns as a brahmacari are supposed to carry one to success in

the other ashrams. From the brahmacari ashram one can either get married and

enter the grihasta ashram or take to the renounced order of life, sanyasa.

Both of these ashrams are extremely important and whether one is a grihasta

or a sanyasi that is a position of huge responsibility, or said in another

way, in both ashrams one is called to act as a leader. As a grihasta at the

very least one has to be a leader for his wife and children and as a sanyasi

one leadership responsibilities are magnified exponentially.

 

 

 

And what is the essence of leadership? To lead is to serve. Service is the

essence of leadership and to the degree that one has learned this lesson

one's attempts at leadership will be a success or failure. So from this

socio-spiritual perspective as a brahmacari one must learn to serve if he is

to move on successfully to any other ashram. If one fully learns this lesson

he can directly accept the sanyasa ashram, but most people need further

education in this subject matter. So they enter the grhasta ashram, where

they learn that being married isn't all fun and games. In fact the fun and

games didn't last very long, it is a lot of hard work, a lot of service. And

you thought there was a lot of service to do in the temple. And it only gets

harder once children make their appearance. As a parent, if you are doing

your job properly, you are a one hundred percent sold out servant to your

new born child, twenty four hours a day. And then if one learns ones lesson

properly then one can enter the vanaprastha ashram to purify oneself of the

deep rooted attachments created in household life and then one can enter the

sanyasa ashram and act as a true servant leader to society. So, from a this

perspective that is the goal of the brahmacari ashram. To learn to be a

servant. In the seventh canto of Srimad Bhagavatam Narada Muni describe s

the duties of a Brahmacari, "Narada Muni said: A student should practice

completely controlling his senses. He should be submissive and should have

an attitude of firm friendship for the spiritual master. With a great vow,

the brahmcari should live at the gurukula, only for the benefit of the guru

( SB 7.12.1)" The main principle is that a brahmcari must control his sense

and serve his guru. The primary principle here is service, and the principle

of sense control is secondary, it is subservient to the principle of

service. The purpose of control the sense control is to be able to render

service, we must not lose sight of this important principle. This principal

is rooted in the philosophical understanding that bhakti (service) is the

ultimate goal of life, and from bhakti automatically knowledge and

detachement follow (vasudeve bhagavati . . .). One can not truly be a

selfless servant unless one's senses are controlled, because until that

point one is a servant of his mind and sense. And as Christ said one cannot

serve two masters. So from this exoteric perspective one's success in life

depends on learning these valuable lessons as a brahmacari. And as we

Already discussed from the esoteric perspective a brahmacari is someone who

is acting on the spiritual platform, as an eternal servant of the Supreme

Lord and all of His parts and parcels.

 

Now we look a little more closely the quotation that we began with and try

to further understand its implications.

 

 

 

Again from a very external perspective everyone who lives at a temple or

anyone who vistis regularly knows that there is alot of service to be done.

So if one is not willing to serve then one is really going to have a tough

time living in a temple. That is of course a very superficial statement but

none the less important. As a brahmacari, you better get used to service

because thats all your going to be doing from the rest of your life.

 

At least until you become a sanyasi and then everyone is serving you, you've

made it to the top, your a temple president, a GBC, a sanyasi, a guru, and

now you don't have to do any more service you attained the goal of life, so

many surrendered souls waiting hand and foot ready to serve you. And as a

reward for being so strict in your vows of renunciation now you have so many

beautiful young women ready to do anything to satisfy your every desire.

What more could one ask for? Unfortunately as conditioned souls we have a

tendency to think like this, at least subconsciously. But as a brahmacari

you have nothing but service, and if you remain a brahmacari and become a

preacher/manager/leader/guru etc. your reward is more service. Devotional

service is its own reward. Srila Prabhupada was once asked what he hope to

attain by chanting Hare Krishna and he replied he hoped to chant Hare

Krishna. Devotional service is the ends and the means. But if we learn our

lesson properly, if we learn how to submissively serve the guru then we

can carry that mood of service into all of our relationships. So this path

of bhakti is nothing but service. Sridhar Swami translated bhakti as

dedication as opposed to exploitation (karma) and renunciation (jnana).

 

 

 

Those of us that are very serious about spiritual life must understand very

clearly that we have chosen a life of service. If one accepts the renounced

order without this understanding then his so called renunciation is

fruitless, because as Radhanath Maharaj is fond of say, "real renunciation

is renunciation of the false ego." If one's "renunciation' is increasing

one's false ego then it cannot truly be called renunciation, it is sense

gratification. Is not the conditioned soul tendency to be the enjoyer

amazing? He even wants to enjoy his "renunciation!"

 

 

 

So as a brahmacari all one has is service to Guru. Every act one performs

with mind body or words must be an act of service. And certainly this is

true for all aspiring devotees; this is the highest platform of pure

devotional service. We are not interested in any particular ashram, we are

interested in pure devotional service. The basic principle of Bhagavad Gita

is that real sanyasa is doing everything for Krishna.

 

"The Supreme Personality of Godhead said: One who is unattached to the

fruits of his work and who works as he is obligated is in the renounced

order of life, and he is the true mystic, not he who lights no fire and

performs no duty." (BG 6.1)

 

But grhastas have some leeway in this regard. As Prabhupada would say, "The

grhasta ashram is a license for sense gratification." In Bhagavad Gita he

even defines celibacy as not having sex outside of marriage. Of course in

other places he gave the ideal standard that a grhasta should only have sex

for procreating a child. But in either case the grhasta ashram is a license

for sense gratification, of course there is the physical act of sex which is

a source of sense gratification, but more than that is all of the sublte

sense gratification that goes along with that. The service and emotional

support a wife provides, the happiness of raising one's own children which

is based on the bodily concept of life, the opportunity to have one's own

house and space to create a little kingdom in which one can play God, the

freedom to do as one please not being responsible to any authority etc. so

in so many ways the grhasta ashram is a license for sense gratification.

 

Now it is important to understand two things in this regard. The first is

that licenses are absolutely essential. The government gives certain stores

liquor licenses to be able to sell alcohol and in this way there is some

regulation and control and total pandemonium is avoided. So the grhasta

ashram is absolutely essential for society and the vast majority of people

need to experience it. And as Krishna explains in Bhagavad Gita one should

not disturb people's minds by prematurely preaching renunciation to them.

Rather one should engage them in work in such a way that they can be

gradually purified.

 

The other important point is that even in the grhasta ashram one can be a

sadhu. In His instructions to Durvasa Muni Krishna says in regards to

Maharaj Ambarisha "Since pure devotees give up their homes, wives, children,

relatives, riches and even their lives simply to serve Me, without any

desire for material improvement in this life or in the next, how can I give

up such devotees at any time?" At that time Ambarisha Maharaj was the

emperor of the entire world, with a wife, children, relatives, riches beyond

imagination, but he was still perfectly situated as a sadhu, his entire

existence was only to serve the Lord.

 

But generally we find that the grihasta ashram is a license for sense

gratification. According to dharmic principles one is allowed to have sex

with one's wife, this may not be the best thing from a perspective of pure

devotional service but it is not sinful. So the license is there.

 

Now for those that don't want to experience this they must understand this

topic very clearly. As a brahmacari you have nothing but service, for the

rest of your life. Pure Devotional service is a life of selfless service. So

the most important quality as an aspiring brahmacari one must cultivate is

this service attitude. And this manifests in the material world primarily as

compassion. That is the true quality of a sadhu selfless compassion for all

living entities and pure devotion for the Lord. And if one's life is truly

dedicated exclusively for the welfare of all other living beings one will

not any desire for any kind of sexual relationship, as that type of

relationship is always tainted with selfish desire.

 

But there is no loss, "For it is in giving that we receive." And ultimately

as we have to give everything up to and including our life. Srila

Bhaktisiddhata Saraswati Thakkur prayed to be able to his body a sacrificial

offering into the fire of the congregational chanting of the holy names.

This is the path of the mahajans. The path of selfless love culminates in

sacrificing everything for the beloved. As Christ did, and as all the great

teachers have done and by there example shown us the way. This really what

is meant by as a brahmacari all one has is service. Up till the day we die.

In his last days Srila Prabhupada said that he wanted to go to New York to

preach and die like a soldier on the battlefield, and he said if I die "just

bury me on roof top." That is the mood of a true devotee of the Lord, up

till the very last breath trying to serve. And when you give everything to

Krishna, He gives himself to you. That is His promise. That is the goal of

life and the true purpose of all activities, including the renounced order

of life.

 

There is much more that could be said about this, but I think we'll leave it

at this for now. Sorry for such a long email. If you made it this far I

congratulate you and thank you for taking the time to read this and

accepting my insignificant service.

 

Your Servant,

 

Gauranga Kishore Das

 

 

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