: DISCOVER HOW UNFORGIVENESS CAN RUIN THE FAMILY true story pls read

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"Kunasundri Krishnasamy" <kkunasundri >

DISCOVER HOW UNFORGIVENESS CAN RUIN THE FAMILY

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DISCOVER HOW UNFORGIVENESS CAN RUIN THE FAMILY

 

 

> "It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one

> you love because of pride".

>

>

> Brothers & Sisters,

>

> Please take time to read the following article, which is a true story, and

> notice how little mis-understandings and more importantly "UNFORGIVENESS"

> which leads to the ruin of most families.

>

>

>

> God Bless

>

> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

>

>

> A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me the most in this world

> is gone forever. This is a true story, taken from "Family".

>

> Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking

> Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with

> us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young.Mother

> endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see

> him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a

> great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby

> to where he is today.

>

> I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a

> balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some

> greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up

> and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he

> said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to

> test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any

> moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and

> both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head

> continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to

> this kind of panic-joy feeling.

>

> Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For

> example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she

> could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people

> spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat the

> flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house,our mood will

> also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled:

> "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."

>

> Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came

> home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she

> would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home

> with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much

> they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset

> about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just

> don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." There begins

> the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

>

> Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast.

> In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? Atthe

> breakfast table, mother facial _expression is always like the dark clouds

> before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her

> chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest. As I am

> a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted from along day

> of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional

> few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all

> the protest mother makes.

>

> >From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon

her

> help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds

> of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and that

> resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags;she would

> scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as

> not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again. One day,late at

> night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her

> bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a

> difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire

> night.

>

> I pretended to be a spoilt child,tried acting cute,but he totally ignored

> me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and

> said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating

> from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"

>

> After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me

> and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the

> house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to

> who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast,

> mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any

> prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily

> eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having

> failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast

> situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.

>

> That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is

> it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose

> not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in

> tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time,hubby

> sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with

> no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

>

> The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a

> sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my

> throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't. I threw

> down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out.

> Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling

> veryloudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway

> staring at me with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no

> words came out of it, I really didn't mean it. We had our very first big

> fight that day; mother took a look at us,then stood up and slowly made her

> way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed

> mother down the stairs.

>

> For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so

> furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up

> with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the

> feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food,coupled with

> all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.

> Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a

> doctor."

>

> The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I

> threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that

> otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through

> this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?

>

>

> At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been

> three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one

> look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.

> He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't

> know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my

> heart.

>

> I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment,

> I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am

> having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of

> joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started

> rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one

> fight?

>

> Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted

> look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of them blanket.That night,

> sound of the drawers opening woke me up.I switched on the lights and I saw

> hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I

> stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and

> some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for

> good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave

> a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.

>

> The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a

> good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a

> weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now

> in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by

> the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look

> at me, his face was expressionless.

>

> I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the

> tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral,

> hubby did say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted

> stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident

> from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in

> dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old

> house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk

> faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit

> her...

>

> I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up

> that morning, if we had not quarreled, if...In his heart, I am indirectly

> the killer of his mother. Hubby moved into mother's room and came home

> every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under

> the guilt and self pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to

> him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I

> saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my

> mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big

> and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my

> fault at all.

>

> Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby

> came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were

> living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the

> dead knot in his heart.

>

> One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window,

> I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly

> brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering

> from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my

> hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say

> to him, and there is no need to say anything.

>

> The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby

> stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging

> me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the

> brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer,

> I will collapse together with the baby inside me.

>

> That night, he did not come home, he had chosen to use that as a way to

> indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.

> He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home

> from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned

> to take some of his stuff.

>

> I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to

> him vanished.

>

> I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again

> and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the

> physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider

> aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not. I insisted on having to

> this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.

>

> One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole

> house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this

> piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it.

>

> In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find

> peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a

> while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just

> like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot

> cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears

> come out from there.

>

> After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I

> smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me.

> Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed

> the paper to him.

>

> LD, you are pregnant?"

>

> Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could

> not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said:

> "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."

>

> He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved

> over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far

> away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot

> remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me,I had originally thought

> that I would forgive him,but now I can't.

>

> In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his

> eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scares in each

> other's heart. For me, its unintentional; for him, totally intentional.

>

> I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now,

> what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.

>

> Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth

> to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he

> buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to

> him.

>

> >From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had

> vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the

> bedroom,but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had

> no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can

> hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick;

> last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will

> surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and

> laugh.

>

> He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because

> there is love, but now, what is there between us?

>

> Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the way till baby was

> born. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant

> products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and

> bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to

> use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He

> has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing

> away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing,

> but none of that matters to me anymore.

>

> It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late

> night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing

> into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting

> for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs,stopped a car,

> holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow,

> throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he

> carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his

> skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who

> else would love me as much as he did?

>

> He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in, his warm eyes

> caused me to managed a smile at him despite my contraction pain.

>

> Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son, and me, his eyes

> tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand.

> Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I

> cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired

> eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but

> the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at

> that moment.

>

> Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was

> already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last

> this long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had cancer?

> Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his

> funeral."

>

> I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room

> and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me. Hubby's cancer

> was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought

> that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:

> "Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you

> before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you

> will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only can accompany

> you throughout that journey, how nice would it be.

>

> But daddy now no long has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all

> the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your

> lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's

> suggestion... Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I

> have accompanied you through your life journey. To be honest, daddy is

> very happy. "Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who

> loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."

>

> >From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and

> even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was

> written there.

>

> Hubby has also written a letter for me:

>

> "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I

> have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want

> to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby... My

> dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile,

> thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them

> to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every

> year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging..."

>

> Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over

> and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our

> son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."

>

> He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in

> his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button

> on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang thought the air as tears

> slowly rolled down my face...

>

> THE END.

>

>

> "It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one

> you love because of pride".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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