BEING HAPPY – the role of expectations

December 2, 2006

***I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet***

In nearly every way, our lives are easier and more comfortable than for people of previous generations. Technological advances and increased affluence have given us material goods that our grandparents would not have dreamed about. We own houses, cars, televisions, mobile phones, iPods, computers, DVD players and swanky equipment for home entertainment. We take more holidays than people of previous generations, and we go overseas more often. We own devices that save us time and energy – washing machines, dishwashers, refrigerators, vacuum cleaners and microwave ovens. Most of these things have made our lives easier and freed us from the tedious aspects domestic life. We also have more opportunities than our predecessors – to study, travel, change careers, move house, develop our talents, indulge our passions and even to leave an unhappy marriage. With all of these new-found freedoms and creature comforts, you would think that life in the 21st century would be happier than

in any previous period in history. And yet, paradoxically, the reverse is true. Depression is now leading cause of disability in all over the world. Drug abuse, loneliness, youth suicide and divorce are increasingly common symptoms of personal unhappiness and social alienation. While many social and demographic factors have contributed to these problems, an important and often unacknowledged cause is our changing expectations.

Our expectations play in determining our level of happiness. People who are dissatisfied with their lives often have unrealistic expectations about how things should be. Today, with the mass media promoting tantalising images of wealth, fame success, beauty, romance and popularity, the perceived gap between our own lives and those of the people we compare ourselves with has never been greater. Consequently we are more likely to feel dissatisfies with our lot than ever before. We have so much, yet we expect so much more. Because we tend to compare our lives with those of other people, we are left with the impression that we are somehow missing out – that our lives are just not good enough the way they are.

***Happiness is not a place to arrive at – it is a manner of travelling***

Many of believe that we could be happy if only we could overcome a particular obstacle to our happiness – a rotten job, an obstinate child, an unpaid mortgage or an unhappy marriage. So we focus on our difficulties and postpone our happiness, assuming that one day, when our problems have been resolved or we have achieved some important goal, we will be able to sit back and feel happy:

When I finish my studies, life will be so much easier.

When I find the right job, I’ll feel much more satisfies.

When I move out of home, I’ll fell much happier.

When I’m earning enough to feel financially secure, I’ll be able to relax.

When I meet the right person, then I’ll be happy.

When the children are settle down, I’ll be able to relax at last.

Waiting for things to fall into place before we can be happy is a precarious strategy for two reasons. First, we miss the opportunity to fully experience and enjoy the present moment – to feel good now. And that is a pity, because today is the only chance we will ever get to experience today. Remember the saying: “This is not a dress rehearsal – it’s the real thing”? Postponing our happiness to some future time means that we miss out on today. And once today has passed, it’s gone, and we don’t get another chance to live it again. Secondly, when we make our happiness conditional on solving our problems will always be with us. As some are resolved, new ones emerge – that is the nature of things. The challenge is not to expect that all of our problems should disappear, but to fix what is fixable, accept what we cannot change and focus on all the many good things that we already have.

Unrealistic expectations and focusing on the things that we believe are missing from our lives inevitably makes us miserable. The reverse is also true – having reasonable expectations and habitually acknowledging all the good things that we have makes us feel blessed. All of us have both positive and negative experiences in their lives – achievements and failures, pleasures and disappointments, losses and gains, illnesses and recoveries.

The secret is to focus a little more on all the good things that we have – we take so much for granted! There is much to celebrate, if only we open our eyes.

Make a conscious effort to redirect your focus from thoughts that make you miserable to those that make you feel good.

Be happy for no reason at all.

Inner happiness is state of a mind where it revels itself out of sheer gratitude of thankness to the nature for all it has given freely to all. No money in the world can buy the stars in the sky nor sun and the moon. The problem is not with the money but with the attachment of condition of our happiness to it. This leads to jealousy and inhuman competition. The tendency of exploitation of one human being ruthlessly by another human being for the sake of money and fame but ultimately finding a mirage of illusion in it, strains the human relations around him and the environment becomes more violent. It is surprising to note that man has not become violent just for the sake of food, but his 99% of violent nature goes beyond his basic needs and to act in that way has become part of his day to day life. People killing in the name of religion are a very common sight even now. Funnily, You see even too much of ego and violence being spit out even in those so-called spiritual

groups to discuss . I have seen many Senior Spiritual Circle Seekers acting as if they know everything and they are already enlightened etc. Even though they don’t know the ABCs of sadhanas or scriptures or Manthras etc. but having just intellectual knowledge for example...., some Osho-bookish knowledge. There needs to be a balanced approach and a balanced clearer view. Osho’s teachings are for genuine practice and for the sake of genuine seeker who can take guidance from the master and genuinely applies and realises with respect to his self experience only. Without verification of any method or sadhana practice we should not belittle them. Most of the Osho’s’ criticisms are targeted towards fake religious people who routinised and diluted most of the genuine result oriented sadhanas and used it for their own selfish purposes etc. Osho has stressed again and again the importance of genuine sadhana or practice on a regular basis and no Master in this world has done so

much as Osho has done to give us genuine techniques of meditations and other sadhanas. Every thing is there for us to receive and practice from Dynamic, Kundalini to Trataka, natraj, nada-brahma, mystic-rose, Vipassana, Zen, Tantra, Yoga to tarot and many more. Why I mentioned these names is, we can practice our selves happily, EASILY and relaxedly at our own home at our own flexible speed and our spirituality will be without any conflict with the outside world. Because we have got the highest and most modern combined scientifically tested methods of tools available for our sadhana at our door step. Even many Stress Counselling specialists and Heart Specialists and doctors recommend them. That is the advantage of Osho Sannyas, you can do your sadhana independently at your home, without losing anything. The Master's initiation and energy is by default always available there for the practitioner as Osho is the highest Enlightened Universal Master. If you combine with your

tantric, yogic, esoteric and mantra sadhanas, there will be enormous Kundalini awakening and karma healing which will propel you slowly but surely in to more deeper spiritual sadhanas and proximate to more spiritual masters dead or alive. They all will bless you and protect you and your sadhana. No doubt about it and you will achieve one day the real happiness, the sat-chit-anand.

Hari om tat sat!

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