BCN - Why Don't We Ask?

[Guest guest]

Bhaktivedanta Coaching Newsletter

 

* Why Don't We Ask? *

 

Why is asking important?

 

In today's rapidly changing world, we need to ask, listen and learn from

people around us. It may be that Krishna is talking to us trhough them.

 

Professional research shows that asking works. My friend, an executive

coach, recently published a study involving more than 11,000 leaders and

86,000 of their co-workers from eight major corporations. He found that

leaders who ask, listen, learn and consistently follow up are seen as

becoming more effective. Leaders who don't ask don't get much better.

 

A few years ago, there was a similar study with customers and discovered

nearly identical results. External customer satisfaction goes up when

customer service representatives ask, listen, learn and follow up.

 

In addition to being supported by research, asking is just common sense.

When people ask us for our input, listen to us, try to learn from us and

follow up to see if they are getting better, our relationship with them

improves.

 

This seems simple and obvious - so why don't we do it?

 

My friend recently asked the vice president of customer satisfaction in a

major organization if his employees should be asking their key customers for

feedback - listening, learning and following up to ensure service keeps

getting better. "Of course," he replied.

 

"How important it this to your company?"

 

"It's damn important!" he exclaimed.

 

"Have you ever asked your wife for feedback on how you can become a better

husband?"

 

He stopped, thought for a second, and sighed, "No."

 

"Who is more important - your company's customers or your wife?"

 

"My wife, of course," he replied.

 

"If you believe in asking so much, why don't you do it at home?"

 

He ruefully admitted, "Because I am afraid of the answer."

 

Why don't most of us ask - even though we know we should? We don't ask,

because we are afraid of the answers.

 

Here are some simple suggestions that might help you:

 

* As a leader: Get in the habit of asking key co-workers for their ideas on

what needs to be done. Thank them for their input, listen to them, learn as

much as you can, incorporate the ideas that make the most sense and follow

up to ensure that real, positive change is occurring.

 

* As a coach: Encourage the people you are coaching to ask questions, listen

to the answers and learn from everyone around them. Be a great role model

for learning, then ask the people you are coaching to learn in the same way

that you are. As a coach, I find that devotees I coach can learn a lot more

from devotees around them than they ever learn from me.

 

* As a friend and family member: Ask your loved ones how you can be a better

spouse, friend, parent or child. Listen to their ideas. Don't get so busy

with work that you forget that they are important people in your life.

 

Improving interpersonal relationships doesn't have to take a lot of our

time. It does require having the courage to ask for important people's

opinions and the discipline to follow up and do something about what we

learn.

 

Do you have the courage to ask?