to Debi- just a little word in reply to post about son

December 21, 2006

Dear Debi,

not that I have any particular advice to offer, since I have no

experience in the child rearing department, but I would like to say

that your love and concern for your son are so obvious that the boy is

very fortunate indeed to have you as his mother. To be young and

looking for your path in life is difficult enough, but if you know you

are loved no matter what, it makes all the difference. You don't lack

consistency in loving your son, and that is the most important, I

think. Please don't worry too much about the arrows; our Divine Mother

sees right into his heart, no matter how many fences he has built.

I know I am not of much help to you, but I just thought I'd let you

know your post touched me and my heart goes out to you both.

with love,

henny

<student61754 wrote:

>

> Thank you Vish for this post!

>

> It's an answer to prayer.

>

> I've been trying to put into words a request for help with my 17

year old.

> He'll be 18 in Aug and graduates in 2008.

> Long haired singer in a band with lerics crying out about the

injustices put apon them.

> Broke up with his girlfriend this week & of course it's all Gods

fault because her mother is a christian & didn't like him. But then

she didn't like any of her daughters boy friends.

>

> Explained to him that God sees things in a bigger prespective than

we do & that there is no bad unless he makes it so. To learn from this

lesson what he cld so that his next choice would be better. Of course

our discusion was longer & their were tears & I love you's & he seems

to be better. He cut his hair to that new Gerber baby look thing going

on now and wants a piercing but says he's just trying to get a rise

from me & lovingly laughes. I say he's just testing the waters myself.

I'm trying to show him love and acceptance & continue teaching Gods

ways as gently as possible. He enjoys lessoning to my husband & I

having discussions with each other about God, our practice and how to

come closer to understanding of it all. He's got very deep opinions

about all this but they only come up when he sees a wrong (in his

mind) being done. He's very angry like most his age group, about

decitfulness, hipocrites and liers and such. All this is in their

lyrics.

> All that may sound great to the outside world that he hates these

evil things but he shows no love only hate. I know he feels it but I

thind he hide it so as not to be hurt. He concentrates on the evil

rather than reaching out with love I guess this is normal for this

age. They haven't had enough experience yet.. It's hard enough for an

adult to understand that the bad guy has problems too & needs help.

Everything is just black and white to him.

>

> I'm afraid of the arrows he is shutting into the future, the

experiences that he will have to have to get to some understanding of

all of it.

> But I realize I can not protect him from everything. Guess that's

another subject that we need to discuss. I want so much to help him on

his path.

>

> There is also a selfish agenda on my part. He is the last of my 4

children and I'd like to get it right eventualy so I want have to do

it over again.(that's selfish I know) Just trying to be truthful here.

No other way to get help.

>

> I've tried to give him a healthy base to stand on but some how I

missed something.

> Probly in my living example. It's easy to tlk but to wlk the tlk

is the challenge.

> I have always answered his questions the best I could and we have

hd lots of discussions of life & God & goals but he can't get a grip

on a goal. He feels he's not good at anything and says to us that he

realizes that he is just not willing to put forward the effort it

takes to get to anything he desires. I atibute that to my on fault in

raising him & not letting him do things for himself so he cld see that

he could. He's alway been a no you do it kid & obviously I feed it by

doing for him. That's being corrected. He does most all himself now.

Up in morning, breakfast, cleaning ( just doesnt do his room) but

does his dishes and what ever he makes outside his room.

>

> We use to go over the Seven Spiritual Laws by Deepak Chopra at

breakfast and then discuss it at supper until he said it got boring he

was just doing the same thing over & over, We do it a while then stop

and then go back to it, not being consistant.

> Consistancy is a definate problem for me.

>

> Anyway my questions are many but to keep it short (yea right)

basicly wanted advice on any prayers, mantras such I cld do for him.

Know I need to pray for Consistancy in self.

> Learned that just from writing this.

>

> THANKS

>

> This email you posted gives me new ideas so will start there &

hope to hear from anyone here on advice for mothering in a better

manner. I know it may seem to late at 17 to ask for it but I thought I

was doing ok not great but keep seeking to do best and then he started

public school and it got crazyer.

>

> Thanks for lessoning

> Debi

>

> inspectionconnection108 <inspectionconnection108 wrote:

> Namaste

>

> Shree Maa talking about one's purpose in life, their reason for

being

> here on Earth, especially relating to relationships between a man

and

> woman. Taken from the Devi Mandir book: " Before Becoming This"

> Continued from 12-19-06, see previous post.

>

> Maa: But very few people have God's grace to truly understand their

> purpose in life. Swamiji and I were born with the grace to

understand

> our purpose, even though the other people in our families were very

> different from us. It's a real problem if you don't understand your

> purpose.

> Swami: I suggest that a person without a purpose better find one.

> Without a purpose, it is difficult to have a meaningful life. How

can

> one accomplish anything if you don't know what your goal is? We need

> to find a goal in life that would be worthy of our committment.

>

> Certainly our goal in life wouldn't be to have a transient

> relationship with someone who doesn't have a purpose either. That's

> where most of us make a mistake. We don't have a purpose of our own

> and we feel empty and look for another person to give us

fulfillment.

> And they don't have purpose either. Then we have 2 people without a

> purpose, trying to give each other's life meaning. We know the honey

> moon period does not last. It's hard enough when you have a

> partnership with common goals. But if you don't have common goals,

> and the purpose of your relationship is just to assuage your

> lonliness, then as soon as your needs are no longer being fulfilled,

> the relationship is history.

>

> The best thing to do is to stop and think, "What would be a

> committment worthy of my dedication? What do I want to give to this

> world?"

>

> Tonight, my hight school senior son, my wife, and I met with Swami

to

> discuss my son's future. Specifically we discussed his goals and

> college plans.

> Dear reader, imagine yourself again at 17 years old, trying to

decide

> what to do with your life, where to go to college, what to study,

what

> career you would desire to commit to.

> Well, Swami had a practical, wise, and thought provoking discussion

> with us. And, at the end of it, my son was totally amazed at the

> breadth, and at the same time, focused, thougths Swami presented to

us.

> Swami's vision of a life well lived means giving more than you take,

> and being efficient in every action, and going forward into action

> only when one has a clear vision of the goal, and the means to

achieve

> it.

> All life to Swami is puja: action to bring merit: to God, to one's

> family and ancestors, and to one's Guru.

> He charged my son to dream really big, to see his life when he is 40

> years old, to envison every detail of his life. Then, make a plan to

> reach that goal.

> Dear reader, take the time to imagine, along with me, what each of

us

> wants to give to this world, how to leave it a better place than

when

> we began, and then, once the vision is clear, make a plan to achieve

> the goal.

> These great souls, Maa and Swami, incarnated on this world to help

> improve it, and bring their disciples to self realization. Their

> committment is so selfless, that it defies description.

> In this time when we honor another great soul, Jesus, who came to

this

> world to take away its sins, let's thank all the great souls, and

> support them with our prayers and actions.

>

> Jai Maa Jai Swami

>

> love

>

> vishweshwar

>

> , "inspectionconnection108"

> <inspectionconnection108@> wrote:

> >

> > Namaste

> >

> > Shree Maa as quoted in the Devi Mandir book: Before Becoming This,

> > page 223

> >

> > Maa: Relationships between men and women have become competitive

> > instead of being a place to learn respect. Everybody wants to win,

> > but where is the peace?

> >

> > Competition and selfishness are at the root of the problem. We

have

> > not learned how to give. If each person would practice giving to

> > their partner, their relationships would be peaceful and

harmonious.

> > Instead, most of us are very selfish. We are only thinking about

> > ourselves. Therefore in the Indian system, this time in the

history

> > of the planet is called the Dark Age. Another reason for

unsuccessful

> > relationships is overpopulation.

> > People are increasing the population, but they don't have a goal

or

> > purpose. They are bringing souls into this world and not teaching

> > them spiritual wisdom.

> > Everybody has his or own purpose for being on this earth. However,

> > most people do not understand their purpose.

> >

> > To be continued..........

> >

> > Jai Maa Jai Swami

> >

> > love

> >

> > vishweshwar

> >

>

December 22, 2006

Thank you Henny,

I needed to hear that. Thank you so much.

I am trying soooo soooo hard. And I doo love him so much.

As I do my girls.

thanks

You struggle & struggle & try to do the best you can & then you struggle some more.

But it is all worth it for them.

I have learned so much from these kids.

And now the 4 grands are just as wonderful to have.

You are good Henny. You turned worry into love.

henny_v_i <henny_v_i > wrote: