About Troubled Children

December 23, 2006

Namaste Debi:

Let me start by saying that I do not know exactly what you are going through, but I have an idea. Let me tell you about my situation.

I have pretty much spent my life trying to become enlightened, and as a career I have been a teacher, and now I'm studying to be a counselor. I have attempted to lead a just, positive life. I am also vegetarian, and I do not believe in harming others. Despite all the good that I believe that I did, I suffered terribly when my daughter left home this fall. She ran off to shack up with her tatooed boyfriend who plays in a band in Las Vegas. She withdrew from college to do this. I was heartbroken, stunned, and paralyzed with pain.

On top of all this mess, my mother began to meddle in my daughter's business. She bought the kid a cell phone, and she bought the boyfriend a cell phone. She dominated the means of communication, and I cannot even speak with my daughter. I have spoken with her once in four months.

Debi I cannot tell you how confusing these situations are. We try to live our lives the ways that we know best, and attempt to move toward enlightenment, and still our children turn toward darkness.

I have been praying the Gayatri mantra, and the MM mantra. I can tell you that I feel better, but I am not sure about my kids

I have thrown these problems at the feet of Mother Kali. If you would like to e-mail me privately, please do.

Jai Ma,

Shankari Kali

Debra McDaniel <student61754 > wrote:

Thank you Vish for this post!

It's an answer to prayer.

I've been trying to put into words a request for help with my 17 year old.

He'll be 18 in Aug and graduates in 2008.

Long haired singer in a band with lerics crying out about the injustices put apon them.

Broke up with his girlfriend this week & of course it's all Gods fault because her mother is a christian & didn't like him. But then she didn't like any of her daughters boy friends.

Explained to him that God sees things in a bigger prespective than we do & that there is no bad unless he makes it so. To learn from this lesson what he cld so that his next choice would be better. Of course our discusion was longer & their were tears & I love you's & he seems to be better. He cut his hair to that new Gerber baby look thing going on now and wants a piercing but says he's just trying to get a rise from me & lovingly laughes. I say he's just testing the waters myself. I'm trying to show him love and acceptance & continue teaching Gods ways as gently as possible. He enjoys lessoning to my husband & I having discussions with each other about God, our practice and how to come closer to understanding of it all. He's got very deep opinions about all this but they only come up when he sees a wrong (in his mind) being done. He's very angry like most his age group, about decitfulness, hipocrites and liers and such. All this is in their lyrics.

All that may sound great to the outside world that he hates these evil things but he shows no love only hate. I know he feels it but I thind he hide it so as not to be hurt. He concentrates on the evil rather than reaching out with love I guess this is normal for this age. They haven't had enough experience yet.. It's hard enough for an adult to understand that the bad guy has problems too & needs help. Everything is just black and white to him.

I'm afraid of the arrows he is shutting into the future, the experiences that he will have to have to get to some understanding of all of it.

But I realize I can not protect him from everything. Guess that's another subject that we need to discuss. I want so much to help him on his path.

There is also a selfish agenda on my part. He is the last of my 4 children and I'd like to get it right eventualy so I want have to do it over again.(that's selfish I know) Just trying to be truthful here. No other way to get help.

I've tried to give him a healthy base to stand on but some how I missed something.

Probly in my living example. It's easy to tlk but to wlk the tlk is the challenge.

I have always answered his questions the best I could and we have hd lots of discussions of life & God & goals but he can't get a grip on a goal. He feels he's not good at anything and says to us that he realizes that he is just not willing to put forward the effort it takes to get to anything he desires. I atibute that to my on fault in raising him & not letting him do things for himself so he cld see that he could. He's alway been a no you do it kid & obviously I feed it by doing for him. That's being corrected. He does most all himself now. Up in morning, breakfast, cleaning ( just doesnt do his room) but does his dishes and what ever he makes outside his room.

We use to go over the Seven Spiritual Laws by Deepak Chopra at breakfast and then discuss it at supper until he said it got boring he was just doing the same thing over & over, We do it a while then stop and then go back to it, not being consistant.

Consistancy is a definate problem for me.

Anyway my questions are many but to keep it short (yea right) basicly wanted advice on any prayers, mantras such I cld do for him. Know I need to pray for Consistancy in self.

Learned that just from writing this.

THANKS

This email you posted gives me new ideas so will start there & hope to hear from anyone here on advice for mothering in a better manner. I know it may seem to late at 17 to ask for it but I thought I was doing ok not great but keep seeking to do best and then he started public school and it got crazyer.

Thanks for lessoning

Debi