[Nectar] Living In Mayapur

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Continued ....

 

The Gitar-gana

 

Srila Prabhupada wrote a long poem in Bengali called Gitar-gana, the

story of the Bhagavad-gita. Printed in a little book, about four

inches by four inches, Gitar-gana was the main book distributed on the

Nitai Pada Kamala. Srila Prabhupada said it wasn't just for mass

distribution. He had written it for the Bengali devotees, and wanted

them to learn it.

Expecting that the gurukula kids had memorized it, Srila Prabhupada

asked them to recite what they knew. The little boys stood in a group

in the temple room and recited the first few verses. Srila Prabhupada

was disappointed.

"I want you to learn the whole poem," he told them.

With this encouragement, the boys practiced every day. They performed

another time, reciting so many verses that Srila Prabhupada was

pleased with them.

 

The FRO Man

 

Srila Prabhupada's evening darshan lasted for an hour and a half, but

the devotees stayed for only an hour. When we heard the arati bells at

six p.m., Srila Prabhupada would say, "O.K. Time to go to arati." We'd

offer obeisances and leave, receiving a sweetball as we walked out the

door. Srila Prabhupada continued conversing with the visitors for

another half-hour.

One evening I was walking downstairs after darshan when someone

stopped me to ask, "What did Srila Prabhupada talk about tonight?"

While I was telling her, Bhavananda Maharaja came downstairs looking

for me.

"The man from the Foreign Registration Office [FRO] in Krishnanagar is

in Srila Prabhupada's room," he said, "and is demanding the list of

the foreign devotees' passport and visa numbers. Do you have it?"

I answered, "I have the list, but it's not up to date."

"Go up to Srila Prabhupada's room right now and tell him you have it,

but say that you'll give it to him in the morning. That will give us

time to update it."

I went back to Srila Prabhupada's room and offered my obeisances just

inside the door. Because he'd told us all to leave just a few minutes

earlier, I remained there, half-sitting on my shins rather than

sitting comfortably on the mattress. When the conversation paused,

Srila Prabhupada nodded at me to acknowledge my presence.

I said, "I have the list of foreign devotees, and I'll give it to the

FRO man in the morning."

The slightly built, mustached FRO man sort of glared at Srila

Prabhupada and sneered challengingly, "Who is she?"

I wondered, "What will Srila Prabhupada say? Does he actually know who

I am?"

With total confidence, Srila Prabhupada immediately answered, "She is

the secretary!"

I was ecstatic! For five years I'd wanted to be noticed and recognized

by Srila Prabhupada, and now he proved what I should have known all

along: he knew me and what service I was rendering. Completely

satisfied, I floated out of Srila Prabhupada's rooms that evening!

 

Vibrations

 

Srila Prabhupada was sensitive to vibrations. Vrndavana Biharini dasi,

who cooked in the Deity kitchen, which was located directly below

Srila Prabhupada's rooms, was asked to refrain from using the sil

batta, two grinding stones, because the vibration disturbed Srila

Prabhupada. Instead, she would grind on the verandah, where it

wouldn't bother him.

He was especially sensitive to loud sounds. When the wind slammed shut

a door, it disturbed him.

Srila Prabhupada told devotees, "When a door slams, it breaks my

heart."

I learned to be careful to either close the door softly or latch them

open, knowing that if any door slammed, it broke Srila Prabhupada's

heart.

Several times Srila Prabhupada found lights and fans on in empty rooms

- often caused by someone leaving the room while the electricity was

off and forgetting to turn off the switches - and he was furious that

Krishna's energy was being wasted.

"Who left the fan on?" he asked the devotee guard. "Just see the

waste! Who is the nonsense who left this fan on?"

Srila Prabhupada was giving us a wake-up call to be more conscious of

our responsibility in dealing with Krishna's property, which we should

have been treating as lovingly as we did our own. He was training us

to do something when we saw something amiss, to rectify the wrong

rather than waiting for another person to do it. If our goal was to

become Srila Prabhupada's first-class servants, we needed to learn to

do the needful without being asked.

 

Asking a Personal Question

 

For a long time I waited for the day when I would be alone with Srila

Prabhupada and Pisima so that I could ask a question I was too

embarrassed to ask otherwise. We got to the darshan early one evening,

and there was no one around, not even the servant. The scene was set

to ask my question.

I have no idea how I started off, but whatever I said brought Srila

Prabhupada crashing down on my case, "Why do you have any doubts?"

I looked at him incredulously because I was totally unaware of saying

I had a doubt! But if I did have any, they were gone now!

I might have defended myself, saying I didn't have any doubts, but in

the end I finally blurted out my personal question: "Can I wear white

saris?"

Recently, we'd learned that widows wore white saris. Thus many former

wives of ISKCON sannyasis - "widows" because their ex-husbands were

considered civilly dead - donned white. Now it was becoming a fad to

wear white, because it symbolized renunciation. I wanted to jump on

the bandwagon.

Srila Prabhupada wanted to know why, so I briefly told him about my

marital situation, saying I didn't want to marry again.

He dismissed my question quickly, saying "Ask your GBC man."

>From his answer I could understand it was not the kind of question I

should have asked my spiritual master.

I had the chance to ask any question I wanted. I could have asked,

"How can I develop love of God?" or "How can I serve you?" or anything

intelligent and meaningful. But no! I finally got up the courage to

ask a question, and it was mundane.

I learned that in front of Srila Prabhupada, you can't hide anything,

and that things you don't intend to say come out. So it was very easy

for me to remain a fool in front of my spiritual master, as spiritual

authorities recommend.

 

New Kartals

 

Before Srila Prabhupada's arrival I'd gone to Navadvipa to buy a new

pair of kartals. I had only the shopkeeper's help in choosing a pair.

I don't know why, but I had him engrave on them not only my name but

also the words "Prabhupada's dog."

I was very proud of my new kartals, and I wanted Srila Prabhupada to

be the first person to play them. I had no problem placing the kartals

on the vyasasana before guru-puja. Srila Prabhupada sat down, picked

up the kartals, inspected the engraving carefully and then tinged the

edges together to test the sound.

I was aghast to see him shake his head in disapproval. He tinged them

again, played them properly once or twice and then put them down, not

wanting to play them anymore. My hopes were smashed to smithereens!

And the smithereens were reduced to nothing as I watched Tamal Krishna

Maharaja picked up the kartals, played them briefly and put them down,

not liking them either. Hari-sauri prabhu was next, but he played them

for the rest of the kirtan.

I realized how important it was to take the help of a musician like

Uttama-sloka prabhu to choose a good pair. Now I had a lousy pair,

nothing compared to the last pair. And to top it off, I'd had this

embarrassing engraving put on them, which Srila Prabhupada read!

I didn't want the kartals any more, because it made me sick to think

of what had happened. Weeks later I sold them to a visiting American

devotee. My strongest selling point was that Srila Prabhupada played

them, but I didn't tell her that he didn't like the sound. I just

wanted the money back that I'd paid for them - twenty-five rupees. The

girl was so sweet, instead she gave me twenty-five dollars, which was

a lot of money for me. I went to Navadvipa at once to buy a new sari

for Pisima, among other things. She reciprocated by giving me one of

her old saris, which I wore till it literally fell apart.

 

Pisima and the GBC Room

 

The time was soon approaching for the start of the annual GBC

meetings, and Pisima and I were still living in the GBC conference

room. I kept reminding the temple authorities to give her a room, but

nothing happened.

Finally, the first day of the meetings came. The morning program was

over, and the GBC men started drifting into the room. Where was

Pisima? She was in the bathroom, wearing only a gamsha, a piece of

cloth worn as a towel around the hips. She didn't mind that the gamsha

left bare her long, flat breasts, which hung well below her waist.

I realized that she would be coming out of the bathroom at any minute.

I looked around, trying to figure out which "big gun" to approach who

would immediately grasp the situation. I chose Rupanuga prabhu. He

acted without hesitation, getting all the men out of the room as fast

as lightning.

By the time Pisima came out of the bathroom and got dressed, he had

arranged for us to move into another room down the hall so that the

GBC meetings could go on. Necessity is the mother of invention!

 

The Grhasthas-and-Women Issue

 

When the Road Show folded in 1972, Visnujana Swami kept Sri Sri Radha-

Damodara, and traveled with Them. He and Tamal Krishna Goswami started

the Radha-Damodara Traveling Sankirtan Party (RDTSKP), a potent force

for Majan, preaching and book distribution. Starting with a few buses,

the party grew rapidly. Both newcomers and temple brahmacaris joined

their ranks. Other sannyasis also joined, and the RDTSKP soon became

the largest distributors of Srila Prabhupada's books.

However, they were overly focused on renunciation. They thought

grhasthas were in maya, and they had zero tolerance of women. American

temples were in turmoil because many brahmacaris abandoned their

services to join this party. Not only that, the RDT-SKP leaders were

proposing that grhasthas and women not be allowed to live in the

temples.

I'd heard that Srila Prabhupada was discussing this issue with senior

men. One evening at darshan I heard first-hand about the controversy

when Gargamuni Swami suggested a drastic change in ISKCON policy: no

single mothers with children should be allowed to live in the temples.

His reasoning was that they couldn't pull their own weight in

devotional service and therefore they were a financial burden.

Srila Prabhupada sympathized with the managers' problem, but didn't

accept Gargamuni's solution. Instead he suggested: "There should be

nurseries, and one or two mothers watch all the babies. The other

mothers will be free to do service."

Saying that women were an asset if engaged properly, Srila Prabhupada

explained, "The women can do so many things." He listed many examples,

including, "They can make jewelry."

Turning to me, the only Mayapur lady present, Srila Prabhupada asked,

"Do the ladies make jewelry here?"

The simple necklaces that the other ladies and I had strung for the

Deities came to mind, but somehow or other I thought they did not

qualify, so I answered, "No."

My negative answer didn't stop Srila Prabhupada from making his point

that ladies can be engaged in so many services.

I felt bad that I couldn't answer "Yes" to Srila Prabhupada's

question. After I told the other ladies about this later, some of us

decided to increase our service to the Deities. Vrindaban Biharini

prabhu was inspired to make a new set of jari crowns for Radha-Madhava

by copying an old tarnished set. They turned out as professionally

made as the old ones, even though she had no prior experience. I made

a peacock-feather fan, gluing feathers of varying lengths onto both

sides of a round piece of cardboard, decorating the centers with trims

and rhinestones. It gave me great pleasure to see Srila Prabhupada

fanned with it.

Soon after this darshan, several GBC proposals were passed including

ones barring grhasthas and women from living in the temples. However,

the body of temple presidents, mostly grhasthas, didn't ratify them.

Ultimately Srila Prabhupada vetoed these proposals, and his will

reigned, preserving the structure he had so mercifully created, which

allowed members of all ashrams to live in the temples, not just those

in the renounced orders of life.

 

Family Visitors

 

Vrindaban De, Srila Prabhupada's youngest son, came to visit him. I

could see a family resemblance, but not so strong as in Pisima.

Vrindaban seemed like a gentle young man.

Pisima and I were in Srila Prabhupada's room while the father and son

spoke. Srila Prabhupada seemed somewhat upset with his son. They

discussed business. He had given his son exclusive rights to sell his

books in bookstores throughout India. I remained unaware of the

details because they spoke in Bengali.

Another time, Sulaksmana, Srila Prabhupada's daughter, along with her

husband and two young children and several other family members, came

to visit overnight. After seeing Srila Prabhupada, they talked for

hours with Pisima.

Srila Prabhupada asked the temple managers, "Where did you put them?"

and he was told, "In the GBC conference room," because the meetings

were over.

"Very good," he responded. "These families can all stay together, and

it is no problem."

One evening Padmavati dasi, the wife of Vegavan dasa, the Stockholm

temple president, came to a darshan with her three-year-old son. He

sat on her lap and pointed towards Srila Prabhupada, saying in his

childish voice, "Srila Prabhupada!"

His mother would try to quiet him, whispering, "Yes, that's Srila

Prabhupada."

Again he said, "Srila Prabhupada!"

Srila Prabhupada seemed pleased with this child. We all chuckled to

hear Padmavati admit that whenever her son saw any older Indian man,

he would say, "Srila Prabhupada!"

 

The Gaura Purnima Festival, 1976

 

As the devotees started arriving for the festival, Srila Prabhupada's

room filled up fast in the evenings. Pisima would stack the cotton-

covered bolster pillows into a pile, creating extra room so that more

people could fit in.

Finally, the darshans stopped altogether. In the mornings Jananivasa

prabhu even stopped bringing the mangal-arati sweets to Srila

Prabhupada at the end of guru-puja. The festival had officially

started.

Srila Prabhupada gave the Srimad-Bhagavatam classes daily, continuing

with the Seventh Canto. During the days, the devotees went on

pilgrimage by foot, bus or boat. With no side trip to Hyderabad

this year, the festival was scheduled to be only about three weeks

long, including the Vrindaban section.

Late on Gaura Purnima morning Srila Prabhupada presided over an

initiation ceremony in the temple room, giving either first or second

initiation to about forty devotees and awarding seven men the sannyasa

order.

Hearing that bathing in the Ganga on Gaura Purnima day liberates one

from birth and death, most of the devotees walked through the fields

to the holy waters to bathe.

A curious thing happened that day. After fasting all day, Pisima

wanted to take the moonrise feast down the road at the matha (temple)

established by Bhaktisaranga Maharaja, who gave her second initiation

in the late 1930's.

I helped her into a rickshaw, brought specially to the front of the

temple, and watched her go slowly down the packed main path toward the

front gate. The rickshaw wove its way around thousands of people

coming to our temple on this auspicious day of Sri Krishna Caitanya's

appearance.

Pisima didn't return when I expected her to. It was getting dark, and

I was worried. Looking from the first floor down the main path, I

finally saw Pisima among the pilgrims, walking toward the temple with

great difficulty. I was relieved to see her. But all of a sudden she

turned around and started walking back to the front gate! I ran down

the steps and caught up with her.

Pisima couldn't explain to me what the problem was, so all I could do

was follow her. Reaching the front gate, we hired a rickshaw back to

the matha. Once there, she proudly introduced me to her Godbrothers

and Godsisters and then made her way over to a particular spot, which

she completely doused with Ganga jal.

I figured she had sat there to take prasadam, and had returned,

thinking she'd forgotten to wash the spot. Knowing Pisima, she more

than likely had washed her sitting place, but forgot that she did.

Being seventy-six or seventy-seven, her memory wasn't perfect.

 

Srila Prabhupada Leaves Mayapur

 

A loud, rousing kirtan awaited Srila Prabhupada outside the Lotus

Building as he was leaving Mayapur. He majestically walked down the

marble steps and got in his car. Srila Prabhupada saw me in the crowd

and called me over to his car.

He asked, "Are there arrangements for Pisima to go back to Calcutta?"

I answered, "Yes. She is going to Calcutta by car," and he was

satisfied.

I was so happy that Srila Prabhupada wanted to know that Pisima was

taken care of and not forgotten. And it was ecstatic to be singled out

of the crowd because Srila Prabhupada wanted to speak to me. It was a

small thing, but made a deep impression on my mind.

When Pisima and I arrived at her family's home in Calcutta, I took

darshan of her tiny brass Deities, Sri Sri Radha-Govinda, who were

Srila Prabhupada's Deities in his youth. Now Pisima worshiped Them

nicely, with the help of one elderly Godsister who lived with her.

Pisima gave me a set of the Deities' old dresses to use as a sample so

that I could sew a new outfit for Them.

>From Calcutta I traveled by train to Vrindaban to attend the second

portion of the festival. Not looking forward to returning to Mayapur

now that Srila Prabhupada and Pisima had left, I was thinking that I'd

go elsewhere after the festival. I made tentative arrangements with

Krishna Bhamini dasi to become her husband's secretary. She was

married to Bhagavan dasa, and they lived in Paris. Having studied

French in high school and having spent a summer in France living with

a family, when I was seventeen, I began looking forward to living

there again and brushing up on my French.

However, when Jayapataka Swami heard of my plans, he asked me to

continue serving in Mayapur. "There are so few devotees living there,"

he reasoned. "Please stay, because we need your help."

The fact that he cared convinced me. But what service would I do?

There wasn't enough secretarial work to keep me occupied. I often

thought of cooking, but I had purposely avoided it because I didn't

want my clothes stained with turmeric or coal from the stoves. Now I

was reconsidering, thinking that cooking for the Deities in India

would be an interesting, active service.

 

 

 

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