Parvati's Quest: Understanding the Essence of Shiva

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Article of the Month - February 2007

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Parvati's Quest: Understanding the Essence of Shiva

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The Reluctant Mother in Law

 

It is a time honored tradition in India that the groom, riding a

mare, leads a procession of friends and dear ones to the bride's

home, where he is given an auspicious welcome at the door by his

mother in law and other women of the household. On one such

occasion, a lady stood welcoming the congregation, eagerly

looking out for her son in law. Before the groom entered, she

witnessed numerous of his friends going in. All were beautiful,

handsomely dressed and immaculately turned out. What would the

groom himself be like, when those preceding him were so

attractive? She couldn't suppress her excitement.

 

"Here comes the bridegroom," someone whispered in her ears. She

hopefully raised her head and immediately shrieked out in terror.

There he was - his body smeared with gray ash fresh from the

cremation grounds, riding a bull, holding a skull in his hands,

his eyes rolling as if intoxicated and looking utterly disheveled

and untidy, like he had not had a bath for several days.

 

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The mother in law wailed, lamenting her beautiful daughter's

choice of husband:

 

"O daughter what have you done, you have ruined your family.

Surely you were not in your senses when you made your choice. Why

did I not remain a barren woman rather than give birth to you who

has bought ill fame to the whole family. You have put away sandal

paste and instead smeared yourself with mud, throwing away rice

you have eaten the husk."

 

 

God: Ugly or Beautiful?

 

The lament of the lady is in fact representative of our own view

of the external world, conditioned as we are to find only the

beautiful to be agreeable, forgetting in the process the fact

that the same supreme reality pervades each and every aspect of

this manifested existence, whether good or bad. It is only when

we start recognizing the inherent divinity in all aspects of

life, can we call ourselves anywhere near to understanding god.

 

The above narrative is easily recognizable as an episode from the

marriage of Shiva and Parvati.

 

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The latter's mother was adamant that she would not give away her

daughter to a person of such hideous appearance. Lord Vishnu

tried to calm her by saying:

 

"Dear woman you do not know Shiva. He is both possessed and

devoid of attributes. He is hideous as well as comely." (Shiva

Purana: Rudrasamhita III.44.90)

 

 

The Profound Symbolic Message of Shiva

 

For those who wish to go beyond the physical form, Shiva's

outward appearance is a constant reminder of many fundamental

truths. He is an embodiment of the three principal themes of

Indian philosophy, which must be inculcated in our lives before

any progress can be made on the spiritual path.

 

1). Bhakti (Devotion): The Ganges flowing from his hair

represents the stream of bhakti.

 

2). Gyan (Knowledge): Shiva is constantly engaged in inward

contemplation, totally oblivious to what's happening outside, so

much that he even appears intoxicated to those not initiated into

his mystery.

 

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3). Vairagya (Indifference and disenchantment with all worldly

things): Shiva often frequents the cremation grounds and smears

himself with ashes. What better example could there be of

disenchantment with the living world? Vairagya means sacrificing

everything, and the one who even while living, gives himself up

to the funeral grounds, not needing nor expecting anything from

the world, is perhaps the ideal example.

 

As for the bull Shiva rides upon, ancient texts heap praise on

it, calling it the Bull of Dharma:

 

'The bull of dharma has forgiveness for its horns, control of the

senses for its ears, the eyes of faith and the Vedas as its

breath. (Shiva Purana Vidyeshvarasamhita:17.86).

 

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The Auspicious Beauty of Shiva

 

Later Shiva, for the pleasure of Parvati's mother, transformed

himself into a supremely handsome male, dressed richly according

to social norms:

 

'Every part of his body was exquisite. He became fair, handsome

and shone with a divine radiance. Embellished with many ornaments

and a garland of fresh jasmine flowers, he smiled with delight,

capturing his mother in law's heart, who stood stunned at this

fascinating view of beauty.'

 

Shiva had in fact transformed himself into 'Sundaramurti,' or the

embodiment of all masculine beauty on this earth. Indeed, the

supremely auspicious image of Shiva marrying Parvati is aptly

titled "Kalyana Sundaram," or the beauty which grants welfare,

the latter feature being inherent in Shiva's epithet Shankara,,

literally meaning 'one who grants welfare (sham).'

 

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The Strange Courtship

 

The marriage of Shiva and Parvati was preceded by a long interval

of courtship. It was no ordinary engagement however. The

initiative was solely Parvati's who was spurred on by a dream

where she stood by Shiva as his wife. Soon after, by a happy

coincidence it so transpired that Shiva stopped nearby on a

mountain range to meditate and she went with her father to pay

homage. The latter, knowing his daughter's desire, requested

Shiva to permit her to take care of his daily needs while he

meditated. Even though Shiva realized this would be an impediment

to his pursuits, he agreed on Parvati's fervent appeal.

 

Thus did Parvati first gain access to Shiva, and served him as he

lost himself in inward contemplation, oblivious to the outside

world. A young and charming maiden, alone with the male she

adored, the circumstances were just ideal for Kamadeva, the god

of love, to make his presence felt, and stoke passion between the

two. One day, as she neared Shiva, Kamadeva fired his dart. Shiva

immediately opened his eyes, which fell on Parvati, whose beauty

affected him for the first time, prompting him to say:

 

"Is this face or the moon? Are these eyes or petals of a lotus?

Is this your nose or the beak of a parrot? Whatever is graceful

and sweet in this creation has been incorporated here. There is

no woman equal to your beauty in the world."

 

Shiva was tempted enough to touch her, and Parvati, tantalizing

him, withdrew, and a little distance away cast meaningful glances

at him. (Shiva Purana: Rudrasamhita III.18)

 

The lord wondered: "I feel great pleasure on merely seeing her.

What pleasure shall I derive in her embrace?" However, he soon

composed himself and realized that he had been hit by Kamadeva's

arrow. He looked around for the culprit, and found him perched on

a tree nearby. No sooner had he thus perceived the cause of his

turbulation than did he open his third eye, the flames from which

reduced the god of love to ashes.

 

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Shiva then vanished from the scene leaving a terrified Parvati

behind who hurried back to her home. She cursed her excessive

beauty, which made her vain enough to think that she could tempt

the greatest of all yogis.

 

 

The Supreme Devotion of Parvati

 

Parvati however soon recovered herself and understood that to

unite with Shiva she had to go beyond beauty and desire. She had

to make every part of her being yearn for this union and

concentrate all her will, energies and capacities focusing them

on this sole purpose. All other preoccupations had to be

discarded.

 

For his sake, who himself made a mockery of social conventions,

she would have to surpass social restrictions and brave reproach

from the world. Her body had to forget all needs or enjoyments,

her mind still all resolves (except the one to marry Shiva) and

the heart abandon all other attachments. Only the need for Shiva,

the thought of Shiva and the love of Shiva would remain. She

would exist only as an intense flame burning for Shiva.

 

Towards this end she decided to undergo severe austerities

(tapasya) in the dense jungles of the Himalayas. Her parents,

distressed at the thought of their fragile daughter repairing to

the dangerous woods tried their best to dissuade her from doing

so. In fact, one of Parvati's most popular epithets, Uma, is

derived from her mother's call to her not to go to the forests -

O (daughter) ma (don't). The mother said:

 

"O Parvati, if you are distressed and wish to perform penance,

you can do it at home. Why do you wish to go out when we have

gods here at home? Dear child, for a woman to go out to the

forests is something never heard of before." (Shiva Purana:

Rudrasamhita III.22)

 

 

The Essence of Penance (Tapasya)

 

Before going further into what happened next, a short note on the

meaning of the Sanskrit word 'tapasya' is in order. It is derived

from the root 'tap,' meaning to heat, insufficiently translated

as penance. According to Sri Aurobindo it implies "A fierce and

strong effort of all the human powers towards any given end. It

is a tremendous concentration of the will which sets the whole

being aflame, masses all the faculties in close ranks and hurls

them furiously on a single objective." Thus, this was the

original intent of the word 'tapasya,' - a concentration so

intense that it produced heat (energy or force).

 

Indeed, that which moves us away from pleasure gained by the

sense organs, and yokes our inner selves with god is tapasya. The

opposite of 'tap', the indulgence in sensual pleasure is 'pat,'

which in Sanskrit also means to fall down and therefore 'tap'

suggests a gaining of spiritual heights. Tapasya means to

gradually start bringing restraint into our lives, giving up

things one by one. Truly is it said:

 

If there is no desire in love it is a boon,

The selfless devotee becomes god soon.

 

 

The Potent Mantra of Shiva

 

When she was about to set out, the great sage Narada paid Parvati

a visit. He then initiated her into the five-syllabled mantra of

Shiva, calling it the king of all mantras and informed her that

its continuous chanting was the most effective way of

propitiating him. The mantra is: 'Namoh Shivai'

 

The Shiva Purana says:

 

"The chanting of the five-syllabled mantra shall always be

performed along with Om" (Shiva Purana Vidyeshvarasamhita:17.34).

 

Thus the potent mantra becomes: 'Om Namoh Shivai.'

 

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It is further stated:

 

This mantra is of the nature of Shiva himself. By holding on to

the mantra, the physical body of the devotee becomes identified

with Shiva. (Shiva Purana Vidyeshvarasamhita:17.132).

 

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Thus did Parvati engage herself, sustaining only on fruits for

the first year. In the second she survived on leaves fallen on

the ground and after many years gave up even that, hence earning

the epithet 'Aparna,' parna meaning leaf and the prefix a

negating it. Finally, she nourished herself solely on the beams

of moonlight and water falling from the sky. In this regard she

was no different from the way trees live in this world.

 

Shiva then had no choice but to appear before her and accept her

proposal. Not however before he had put her to one final test.

 

 

Parvati's Dialogue with Shiva in Disguise

 

Shiva, putting on the garb of an old sage, approached Parvati

engaged in austerities. She rose up in respect and worshipped him

with all reverence due to a learned Brahmin. He enquired about

her well being and asked why she was undergoing such severe

penance. When she told him of her desire to have Shiva as her

husband, he feigned distress and exclaimed, pointing out the

disparity in their situations:

 

"You have set your mind on a worthless object. How could your

hand, decorated with bracelets bear the first clasp of Shiva's

hand encircled as it is with snakes?

 

"On one side will be your bridal robe embroidered with figures of

swans and on the other an elephant hide dripping with blood.

 

"What could be more unseemly than his chest smeared with funerary

ashes pressing your two breasts daubed with golden sandalwood

paste?

 

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"Not only his physical appearance, but also in the matter of

birth his parentage is obscure. The amount of his wealth can be

gauged from the fact that he has nothing to wear. Dear lady, can

anyone find in him even one quality that is normally sought in a

husband?"

 

Hearing this diatribe, Parvati's lower lip trembled with anger.

The corners of her eyes reddened, and contracting her graceful

eyebrows she cast a scornful look at the Brahmin who had dared to

utter these harsh words:

 

"You who speak to me in this way do not at all know Shiva. Since

petty minds don't understand the motives of great souls,

different as they are from those of ordinary people, they

criticize them.

 

"People perform auspicious rites with the aim of warding off

calamities or attaining prosperity. Shiva himself is the

protector of the world and is desireless. What has he got to do

with those mercantile practices which but corrupt the soul?

 

"Though he possesses nothing, he is the source of all

possessions. He is the master of the world yet he lives in a

cemetery. His physical appearance is frightening yet he is called

'Shiva,' the gentle source of all blessings.

 

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"Whether he glows with jewels or bristles with snakes, dresses in

silk or wears an elephant hide, adorns himself with skulls or the

moon, it is not possible to define the form of one whose body is

the whole universe.

 

"The funeral ashes that have touched his body acquire the power

to purify all living beings. Therefore, when he performs his

great dance, even the dwellers of heaven vie with each to collect

the particles falling off from his limbs, applying them to their

foreheads.

 

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"When Indra, the king of heaven, riding his royal elephant, comes

across this penniless god seated on an old bull, he alights from

his vehicle and touches his feet.

 

"O Brahmin, though you are worth nothing, one thing you did say

well. Since Shiva is the cause of even Brahma (who exists without

birth), how could his own birth or parentage be known?

 

"Enough arguments however, let him be what you believe him to be.

My unshakeable heart knows no other feeling than love. Those

whose goal is set do not care for criticism."

 

She then said with finality:

 

"I can see from your quivering lips O Brahmin that you wish to

speak again. Not only is it a sin to say ill of the great souls,

even to listen to such talk is a crime. Therefore, I shall leave

this place immediately."

 

So saying, the young girl turned back. At that very moment,

Shiva, assuming his real form, caught hold of her. Seeing him,

her body turned moist and the slender limbs froze, with one foot

poised in the air, between movement and immobility, like a great

river arrested in its course by a mountain. Shiva, his heart

melting with affection said:

 

"O graceful lady, won over by your tapasya, from this moment I am

your slave."

 

Conclusion

 

'Just as water and its flavor (rasa) can never exist apart,

likewise Purusha and Prakriti never remain disassociated from

each other.' (Bhagavata Purana: 3.27.18)

 

Parvati's committed devotion is but a paradigm of the inevitable

union between male and female played on the immense plane of

supreme divinity. She is the soul of us all searching for god,

which is but destined to meet and unite with him.

 

Calling god 'him' does not denote that he is male or a gender

bias. The union envisaged above can however happen only in terms

comprehendible to us. Thus the supreme reality, attributeless and

genderless, has to be brought down to the scale we can relate to.

The Nirguna has to be conceived as Saguna. This is the highest we

can reach, and it is sufficient, being the paramount goal of

human life, this union of Purusha with Prakriti. For this Shiva,

the formless, the infinite contemplating infinity, has to be

brought out from his inner ecstasy, and indeed, all the beauty,

need, and aspiration of this world has to take form (of Parvati)

in order to take up its right place on the lap of god.

 

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The only requirement being pure and complete surrender, and

indeed Shiva destroys only Kama, the desire polluting the

devotee's

relationship with divinity, but never the devotee himself.

 

[We humbly wish everybody on the auspicious occasion of

Maha-Shiva-Ratri, the Great Night of Shiva, falling on the 16th

of February this year]

 

 

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This article by Nitin Kumar

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References and Further Reading:

 

Donaldson, Thomas Eugene. Siva-Parvati and Allied Images Their

Iconography and Body Language (2 Volumes): New Delhi, 2007.

 

Heifetz, Hank (tr.) The Origin of the Young God (Kalidasa's

Kumarsambhava): Delhi, 1990.

 

Joshi, Kireet (ed.). Parvati's Tapasya (Illumination, Heroism and

Harmony): New Delhi, 2004.

 

Menon, Ramesh. Siva The Siva Purana Retold: New Delhi, 2007.

 

Nagar, Shanti Lal. Siva Mahapurana (Sanskrit Text with English

Translation in 3Volumes): Delhi, 2007.

 

Pandey, Pandit Shri Din Dayalu. Shiva Tattva (Discourses on the

Shiva Purana): Jabalpur.

 

Shastri, J.L (ed.). The Siva Purana (English Translation in 4

Volumes): Delhi, 2005.

 

Sivananda, Swami. Yoga Vedanta Dictionary: Rishikesh, 2004.

 

Tripathi, Brahmananda. Kalidas Granthavali (Complete Works of

Kalidas with Hindi Translation): Varanasi, 2005.

 

Tripathi, Brahmananda. Sri Sivamahapuranam (Sanskrit Text with

Hindi Translation): Delhi, 2002.

 

Vanamali. Sri Shiva Lila: New Delhi, 2002.

 

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Jaya Sri Radhey!