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When we loose a friend do we want to think of them always in the best light???

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krsna

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"A Tribute ...(to a departed soul):crying2:

by Bhudhara das

It may be too early to write a tribute to ....

In reflecting on what I can say about an old friend, ironically I find myself thinking fondly of the traits and characteristics that made him seem at times eccentric and at other times unapproachable. When we loose a friend or loved one, we instinctively want to think of them in the best light. As a cardinal rule, devotees avoid criticism of others. When a near and dear devotee passes beyond this worldly veil of tears, our avoidance of criticism combined with our reverence for the Vaishnava, whatever his or her status, often bestows upon the person the status of a saint – or even more. There is also the complication that the quality I find endearing or praiseworthy in someone may be the very thing that rubs someone else the wrong way. In a world of duality, the challenge is to be big hearted enough to reconcile the contradictions and appreciate the beauty in other’s hearts. Reconciliation is neither avoidance nor denial. It takes honesty to look at the pros and cons, and weigh them up to discover how opposites are complimentary and reflect each other."

 

........

 

So what will your tributes be like when you dear Prabhus all leave your bodies one by one in due course in the next few years? Will there be an out-pouring of fine sentiments to glorify the ideal in Vaisnava humility and topmost spiritual qualities???:confused:

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>> So what will your tributes be like when you dear Prabhus all leave your bodies one by one in due course in the next few years? Will there be an out-pouring of fine sentiments to glorify the ideal in Vaisnava humility and topmost spiritual qualities??? >>

 

It doesn't matter. Live your life, do your service... let the eulogies write themselves. We are not here to please the human population or critics... we do not care about arranging our "legacies" in advance. We just try our best, that's all.

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Do what you are moved to do. Say what you are moved to say without being artificial and patronizing.

Speak from the heart and be honest with yourself.

 

That said, do what comes natural and spontaneous and you should never live to regret anything.

 

Just don't eulogize for the sake of eulogy.

If you feel it, say it. ( if you want too )

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In reflecting on what I can say about an old friend, ironically I find myself thinking fondly of the traits and characteristics that made him seem at times eccentric and at other times unapproachable. When we loose a friend or loved one, we instinctively want to think of them in the best light. As a cardinal rule, devotees avoid criticism of others.

 

Devotees have a tendency to present things by focusing on the positive side. That is a good thing. Yet we must avoid speaking falshoods when describing someone. Flattery that is a lie actually is not a flattery at all - it is simply a lie, and the person speaking it is simply a liar, however well intentioned he might be. Praising someone with lies is no praise at all. If you cant find anything positive to say about a person - just keep your mouth shut at their funeral. Yet in most cases it is easy to find something valuable and positive in the life of ANY devotee without resorting to inventing bogus claims.

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