How Did you Discover Krishna?

[Sarva gattah]

This is a great thread, I wonder if the administrators or a writer from this website would be interested in putting a book together of stories of how we all first met the devotees of Krishna?

[Amlesh]

I don't really know and how it happened.. I never really searched for Him also.

But in my moments of crisis, He came to my rescue via The Gita.

 

For me Gita is not a book, but my conversation with the Supreme.

[Ravindran Kesavan]

 

I really love to read about mystical experience and miracles-how someone came to love God. I like beginnings. So if any would be so kind as to share their experiences....

 

Dear Darini,

My story is an amazing one- even to me. I am a mystic. I had once a colossal Mystical experience which I attribute to <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comKrishna</st1:place>’s grace primarily, though Goddess and Siva are the one who directly graced me with that mystical experience proper. It is colossal and I don’t intend to discuss it in its entirety here. I shall limit with the initial and rudimentary experience that has direct relevance to this threat theme – how I discovered <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> first. The rest of it though a more mind boggling in quality, will not be touched here. A small portion of this mind boggling experience I have discussed in the thread “Does free will exist?” from post 116 onwards.

Crowling age and Blue Light of the Heart

My discovery of <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> happened at a very early age, at least from my crawling stage of life if not earlier from the womb. (I don’t remember my days in my mother’s womb now. However I have a vivid memory of an experience from my crawling stage.) Ever since I can recollect my experience from my earliest years onwards, I was aware of a very very tiny blue light in my heart. The blue light was extremely tiny of the order of a micro fraction of the thickness of a hair, but not dimmer. It was bright enough to very clearly see it. It was always there - never dimmed never vanished. Even when I went to sleep this light was shining in my heart. It never disappeared. (My awareness of this blue light of my heart never disappeared in my sleep)

(This is when I was crawling I dint yet acquired spoken language at that time. Obviously I have not heard or read of such a thing at that age. Much much latter in my college days, I read of this kind of description in Upanishad.)

Speaking age and <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>

When I grow up a little and started understanding speaking language, my grand mother used to tell me lots of Mythological stories -of Vishnu, of <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>, of Siva, of Brahma, and of many other gods and demons. I instantly liked Vishnu among all gods, and more so <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>. Vishnu and <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> appeared to me more charming to me. I liked child <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> more than Vishnu. I was in love with <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>, a sort of childhood innocent friendship. I thought of Krishna more and more and when I went to sleep, from the blue light of my heart <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> popped up and played with me the whole night in my dreams. When I awaken from sleep, he would collapse and disappear in to that tiny blue light. Every day this continued.

I was in deep love - a sort of friendly love – with <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>. I spoke to him in imagination during day time. I prayed to him. I remember clearly my only childhood prayer, my only demand to <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>. My only prayer was to change me to a butterfly from being a worm. I have heard from my father that Butterflies come out of worms. Though I dint understood the full import of this prayer at that time I sensed intuitively at that tender age that I am like a worm and I wanted to be metamorphosed to a butterfly. <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> in my dream promised me to turn me in to a butterfly but much latter in my life. (And that happened much later in my life about 32 years of my age . It is a big story and Mind boggling one. I, in a mystical experience underwent a complete transformation comparable to the metamorphosis of the worm to butterfly, and obtained a. spiritual body with which I could travel to all the realms in the cosmos – to all havens of all gods including Gologa Vrintavan opf <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> . Some of the experience I have shared in my posting “Does free will exist” Post 116 onwards)

This is all before I went to school. I stated my schooling at the age of six. As I was attending many many tasks in the external world now the mind turned outward, the inner blue light of my heart started to fade during day time only to return when my mind turned in and rested during the time just before sleep. That is I was no more aware of the blue light continuously and only became aware of it when I went to sleep, or when my mind is in a restful state just a few minutes before sleep.. Of course <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> popped up as usual from the blue light when I dreamt.

Disappearance of Blue light and <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>

One day I narrated the mythological stories of my grand mother to one of my school friends I told the story of Vishnu and Siva, of how Vishnu is the most intelligent god. And how Siva gives boons to auras with out thinking and gets in to trouble and How Vishnu had to come and save the situation. I narrated the story of how Vishnu saved Siva from Basmasura who up on obtaining a boon of burning anything to ash just by touching tried to test that boon on Siva Himself. I presented Siva in bad light and was praising Vishnu with all the glory, as my grandmother used to do.

That day when I went to sleep I noticed the blue light was not there. And when I slept and dreamt, <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> did not come. All sort of bizarre and ordinary dreams appeared for the first time in my dreaming life. (So far I never had the so-called ordinary average dreams. I always had coherent dreams of happily playing with Krishna in a stunningly beautiful and blissful world) When I woke up I was very disturbed and I searched for <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>. Day after day the blue light as well as <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> would never come. I Demanded prayed, pleaded. I became sad and cried. Nothing worked.

Near my house in a hillock there was a Lakshmi Narayana temple, whivch I used to visit once in a while. In my search for Krishna I went to that temple and prayed for the first time to Lakshmi to give me my <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> back.

That night when I dreamt, I saw Narada muni. He told me that Mother send me to tell me the news. <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> is suffering from a severe heart pain, because a crude ignorant (tamasic) bakta has hit him on his heart. . Besides the same foolish bhakta has spitted him on his face. Injured and insulted he is hiding in his secret place in his special heaven. I got angry and demanded to reveal him who that fool was? And I demanded Narada to take me to <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>’s hiding place immediately. Narada refused to both of my demands and said that if I ever had a chance to see Kruishna again that only can happen when <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>’s heart pain is gone and the spit from his face washed away from the same bhakta who is responsible for it. Then Narada advised me to go to a Siva temple and to wash Siva with water and put Vilva leaf. He said that this act will change the mind of the fool who committed blunders against <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>, and he will become a wise ( satvic) bhakta.

Siva pooja and <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>’s returning.

Next day was some important religious day for siva – might have been Mahasivaratri or Sravana month otr some thing like that , I don’t remember exactly. My father along with few other religious people took me to a short excursion to a nearby tall, mountain. The mountain was really very high and one has to climb up with effort. At the top was a suyambu( natural formation) Linga. There was no temple or priest. People visited just performed their own worship. All the people worshiped the Linga with water and Vilva life. My father told me to do the same. I liked instantly the Linga so much and genuine bhakti and reverence entered my mind. I pored water and put Vilva with chanting of Lord’s mantra with a genuine reverence. Instantly my attitude changed to Lode Siva.

That day when I was about to slppe I saw the blue light shining with splendor again in my heart. And when I slept Krisna was there in my dream. I was over joyed and hugged him. And I asked him where was he all this while how is his heart pain? <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> said that it is gone and his face washed clean. I asked him who hit him on his heart and spit on his face He said that it was I. I thought he was joking and asked him to be serious. He told me “Seriously it is you .But don’t worry about it now. You will understand it better latter when you grow up. But one thing for now never speak ill of Maheswara. Never and never in your life you should commit that mistake. Thank Maheswara he did not mind your foolishness. He likes you very much.” I did not understand how and when I hurt <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>’s heart and when I spit on his face. It used to trouble me for long now and then. But when ever I raised that issue <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> told me to wait and I will gat answers for all my doubts one day. Now I am not capable of Understanding. And he consoled me not to worry of that anymore, since I rectified it. (Much latter in my mystical experience I happened to see that through a mystical vision that Krishna resides in all creatures’ heart and Lord Siva resides in <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>’s heart. Hence blasphemy of Siva is hitting the heart of <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>. In another vision I witnessed the Visva rupa -Universal form - of Krishna in which all gods existed as faces of <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>. There was a Siva face too. Hence speaking of Siva is like spitting on one of the Faces of Krishna. . But this I could only understand through a mystical vision. )

 

As time passed I grow up with thousand things in my mind and the blue light and <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> appeared less and less frequently. However <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> came promptly in my dream whenever I prayed before sleeping. Otherwise I dreamt of all sorts of bizarre things.

I will stop at hear as the thread is about discovery of <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>. My further long story is about how I discovered Goddess by the initiation of <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place> and Siva by the initiation of Godess, and the resultant grand Mystical experience and transformation. – A complete metamorphosis, which I asked for in my childhood prayer to <st1:place w:st="on">Krishna</st1:place>. Since that is a long story and involves other gods and other themes I will not elaborate on them in this forum as the forum members may not be interested in it.

 

Regards,

K.Ravindran

[Sarva gattah]

 

namnam akari bahudha nija-sarva-saktis

tatrarpita niyamitah smarane na kalah

etadrsi tava krpa bhagavan mamapi

durdaivam idrsam ihajani nanuraga

 

O my Lord, Your holy name alone can render all benediction to living beings, and thus You have hundreds and millions of names, like Krishna and Govinda. In these transcendental names You have invested all Your transcendental energies. There are not even hard and fast rules for chanting these names. O my Lord, out of kindness You enable us to easily approach You by Your holy names, but I am so unfortunate that I have no attraction for them.[sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu]

Bhaktivedanta VedaBase: Śrī Caitanya Caritāmṛta Madhya 2.45

 

[url="http://vedabase.net/cc/madhya/2/44/en"]