prayaschitta for misconduct

[sunken]

I would like to know, what prayaschitta/penance can be done to reduce the karma caused by committing a great sin?

 

In particular the sin of sexual misconduct with someone you are not married to.

[theist]

Chant Hare Krsna and control your future actions. The idea is a change of heart is the real repentance.

[sreeram]

Sunken,

 

Sashtras are specifying many prayashitas against etach sin. Better to consult with a guru for this

[suchandra]

 

I would like to know, what prayaschitta/penance can be done to reduce the karma caused by committing a great sin?

 

In particular the sin of sexual misconduct with someone you are not married to.

Interesting article by a Vaishnava in Bhubaneswar, Orissa, India, editor of Sri Krsna-kathamrta magazine.

 

Monday, 11 February 2008

 

http://vrindavanakrishna.blogspot.com/2008/02/ethics-devotion-part-3.html

 

Ethics & Devotion Part 3

 

Devotees

The Devotees who are situated on the platform of pure love of God see their beloved Lord everywhere and see everything, moving and non-moving, in connection with God. From such a platform, to offer respect to all living entities regardless of material bodily designations is quite natural and genuine, and thus on this platform alone can one be free from the propensity to exploit others.The Bhagavata Purana explains that even though one may follow religious ethics for some time, without genuine devotion to the Lord the subtle desires in the heart, which are the roots of immoral tendencies, are not destroyed and will rise again. Only pure devotion can remove all immoral tendencies. This is described in the Bhagavata:

kecit kevalaya bhaktyavasudeva-parayanahagham dhunvanti kartsnyenaniharam iva bhaskarah

“Only a rare person who has adopted complete, unalloyed devotional service to the Supreme Lord Vasudeva, Krsna, can uproot the weeds of sinful actions with no possibility that they will revive. He can do this simply by discharging devotional service, just as the sun can immediately dissipate fog by its rays.”

 

Moral Behavior? One problem arises in our discussion of morality. Sometimes, understanding the moral behavior of devo-tees is difficult. A good example is the activities of Krsna’s most exalted devotees, the gopis of Vrndavana, who would leave their homes and husbands in the middle of the night to meet with Krsna. To accept such behavior as saintly is difficult for many persons. On several occasions Srila Prabhupada described the apparent contradiction between morality and the behavior of the gopis:Any activities that are spiritual are all-good, and any activities that are material are all-bad. This is the difference between spiritual and material. The so-called morality and goodness of the material world is bad, but in the spiritual world even so-called immorality is good. This we must understand. For example, to dance with the wives of others at the dead of night is immoral, at least according to the Vedic civilization. Even today in India, a young woman will never be allowed to go to a young man at the dead of night to dance with him. But we find in Srimad-Bhagavatam that as soon as the gopis, the young cowherd girls of Vrndavana, heard Krsna’s flute, they immediately came to dance with Him. Now according to material conceptions this is immoral, but from the spiritual point of view this is in accord with the greatest morality. Caitanya Mahaprabhu therefore said, ramya kacid upasana vraja-vadhu-vargena ya kalpita: “There is no better mode of worship than that which was conceived by the vraja-vadhus, the damsels of Vrndavana.” The gopis superficially seem to transgress the codes of mundane morali-ty. This perpetually puzzles mundane moralists. … The reason the Lord displays the rasa-lila is essentially to induce all the fallen souls to give up their diseased morality and religiosity, and to attract them to the kingdom of God to enjoy the reality. A person who actually understands what the rasa-lila is will certainly hate to indulge in mundane sex life. For the realized soul, hearing the Lord’s rasa-lila through the proper channel will result in complete abstinence from material sexual pleasure. Our standard of morality and immorality is to see whether Krsna is satisfied. If Krsna is satisfied, then it is morality. If Krsna is dissatisfied, then it is immoral. ConclusionAccording to Bhaktivinoda, the best ethical system is that which is based on the awareness that all others are part of the Supreme Lord and meant to give pleasure to Him alone. Any system that gives prominence to the fulfillment of one’s own selfish desires will ultimately be exploitative and thus harmful to the progress of society.These are some of the practical teachings of Bhaktivinoda Thakura on the topic of ethics. I hope that the respected and learned persons of this assembly will consider them deeply. Madhavananda Dasa is the editor of Sri Krsna-kathamrta magazine and lives in Bhubaneswar, Orissa, India. He can be reached at madhavananda.ggs@ pamho.net.

[bhaktajan]

SB 9.9.6 Purport —There are methods of präyaçcitta, or atonement, but they are inadequate to cleanse one of sinful reactions. One can be cleansed of sinful reactions only by devotional service, as stated in regard to the history of Ajämila:

“Only a rare person who has adopted complete, unalloyed devotional service to Kåñëa can uproot the weeds of sinful actions with no possibility that they will revive. He can do this simply by discharging devotional service, just as the sun can immediately dissipate fog by its rays.” (Bhäg. 6.1.15) If one is under the protection of a devotee and sincerely renders service unto him, by this process of bhakti-yoga one is certainly able to counteract all sinful reactions.

NOI 1 Purport . . . certain Christians go to church to confess their sins, thinking that confessing their sins before a priest and performing some penance will relieve them from the results of their weekly sins. As soon as Saturday is over and Sunday comes, they again begin their sinful activities, expecting to be forgiven the next Saturday.

This kind of präyaçcitta, or atonement, is condemned by Parékñit Mahäräja, the most intelligent king of his time. Çukadeva Gosvämé, equally intelligent, as befitting the spiritual master of Mahäräja Parékñit, answered the King and confirmed that his statement concerning atonement was correct. A sinful activity cannot be counteracted by a pious activity. Thus real präyaçcitta, atonement, is the awakening of our dormant Kåñëa consciousness. Real atonement involves coming to real knowledge . . .

SC 16: Awakening love of God: "Atonement vs. Chanting the Holy Name". . . Still, atonement of various kinds is recommended in the Vedas for those who are not ready to take up the process of pure devotional service. These methods of atonement are proportional to the the severity of the sin they are meant to counteract.

For example, if we fall sick with a cough or influenza, the cost of medicine prescribed by the doctor may be little, but if we are stricken with tuberculosis, the medicine will be more costly. Likewise, präyaçcitta, or the ritualistic ceremonies for counteracting sinful activities, is proportionately less or greater according to the gravity of the sin.

If we commit a grievous sin, then the penance will be severe. These are the prescriptions given by great sages like Paräçara Muni and Manu. The sages have composed twenty kinds of scriptures, constituting the dharma-çästra, and these scriptures are meant for atoning for one’s sins and elevating one to the heavenly planets. For example, it is said that if one has committed certain crimes, he must vow to fast for a certain number of days or give charity. Or, a businessman who has earned a million dollars by sinful activities must give in charity accordingly.

There are many such prescribed methods of atonement, but here the Viñëudütas say, “Although these prescribed methods of atonement are authorized and true, they cannot purify the heart.” We can see that even though the adherents of Hinduism, Mohammedanism, and Christianity perform such rituals of atonement, they cannot refrain from again committing the same sins.

One who practices these principles of atonement is like a rascal patient who goes to a physician for treatment. The physician gives him medicine and instructs him how to take it, but the foolish patient takes the medicine according to his own whims, and so his condition worsens. Again he goes to the physician, crying “Doctor, please give me more medicine.”

[LoveroftheBhagavata]

Yes, not everyone is fortunate enough to drown themselves in the Ganga for a misdemeanour, as Visnujana Swami did, nor would that be appropriate for everybody.

[sunken]

 

Sunken,

 

Sashtras are specifying many prayashitas against etach sin. Better to consult with a guru for this

 

Is there any gurus that can be contacted online?

[srinivas25]

you have to tell all the people who know you. about the deed you have done.

 

and ask god to give the strength to not to do it again.

 

regularly get up at 4 am and do japam of maha mantra.

 

your sin will burn away like a cotton which catches fire.

[indulekhadasi]

 

Is there any gurus that can be contacted online?

 

Try emailing Swami Gaurangapada. I have become very inspired by him. You can tell him your specific problem and he will tell you what to do. Also his replies are very prompt.

 

swamigaurangapada@gmail.com

 

Hope this helps.

Hare Krishna and Jai Nitai

indulekhadasi

[Kulapavana]

 

I would like to know, what prayaschitta/penance can be done to reduce the karma caused by committing a great sin?

 

In particular the sin of sexual misconduct with someone you are not married to.

 

Make sure that any prayascitta you perform will also restore (or attempt to restore) any harm done to persons affected by your sinful behavior. Without it a prayascitta is not complete.

 

The more difficult it is to counteract the effects of your bad behavior, the more complete your penance is. Just giving some money in the temple or chanting a few rounds of japa is not enough. An attempt must be made to restore the balance of life upset by our sin.

[new---new]

what do u mean by misconduct? if the act was mutually acceptable and you did it not with the intention to take advantage you dont need to worry much.......if it was so then dont think much about it ..forgive yourself and get over it.....it was not wrong morally ...but spiritually it would slow down your progress and socially it could bring you infamy ........best thing to do is to do your normal spiritual practices and be at peace.......if however the act was not mutually acceptable ..or you took advantage of a situation ......its going to burn you consciousness a little more .......in any case you will have to be prepared to accept any outcome ....so be at peace...

[sunken]

By misconduct i mean i had a short-term fling with a man (before marriage )which became sexual. It was a no-commitment sort of thing. He is now happily with someone else.

 

My parents knew nothing of this. My parents then arranged a marriage for me with someone else. I am now married. I have told my husband about my past and at first he felt very betrayed. But he seems to be ok with it now.

 

As a hindu brahmin woman it was a very bad thing to do. It is weighing heavily on my conscience. I am worried that i have accumulated very bad karma.

[new---new]

When you did what you did you were free..... so morally it wasnt any worse than any other kind of indulgence like indulging in tasty non sattvik food...how ever indulgence which is sexual in nature brings it own consequences...for example ..there is a transfer of nature (tamasic ,rajasik or sattvic) form the partner...(this is not my own theory...but proposed by shri ram sharma acharya the founder of gayatri parivar)... so in your case whatever transfer had to happen has already happened so u dont need to worry about it anymore ....then there are social ramifications ....our society does not take sexual indulgence as lightly as indulgence in any other activity like food,or play,or music.......and therefore it could cause hurt to your loved ones ....and it would be a part of their evolution to grow up and not judge you ...and accept you the way you are ....your husband seems to have taken it well ....so you dont need to worry much ......you cant make everyone happy ...because everyone is at a different stage of their evolution .....so you be at peace ....there is nothing more to be done ....do you spiritual practice ......that is all ....u cant undo your past so why worry...and guru is like a mother ...who never abandons her children.......so no guru will hold you past against you ........so be at peace.. .......

[Kulapavana]

 

By misconduct i mean i had a short-term fling with a man (before marriage )which became sexual. It was a no-commitment sort of thing. He is now happily with someone else.

 

Real serious sin is when other people become hurt by our actions. You did the right thing by telling the truth to your present husband - that is prayascitta as well. Do not agonize over this too much. Perhaps your prayascitta may also involve helping some other girl not make the same mistake?

[sunken]

thank you all for your advice.

 

I will continue to chant the Hare Krishna manthra and try to put my mind at peace.

 

I am ashamed of my past. but what's done is done. I feel that I'm a bad person and a bad wife because i wasn't chaste.

My parents do not know. we are brahmins and my father helps out in the temple. I fear that i will get disowned if my parents find out.

 

I keep worrying that I will go to hell or be born as an insect in my next life because of what i have done.

[sreeram]

What hapend is happend. So throw your worries from your mind and live like a good wife. As you have already told this to your husband half of your sin is gone. Now pray to god for forgive you and give the strength to not to repeat such things in future. Be a good wife and do your duties as a wife and as a mother. We human make mistakes because we are not gods. The best thing in you is you are realising your mistake and you dont want to repeat that.

Dont think you are a bad person, every one is good. throw your worries from your mind and live a good life.

 

May god bless you in your rest of life.

[sunken]

Thanks, Sreeram. that makes me feel better.

[theist]

sunken, you are so very far ahead of me. I have lead a very materialistic life against the principles of religion and don't really feel ashamed by it although I am learning there are higher ways to live my life. Your standard is so much higher. Most likely due to the differences in our cultures. I live in the USA where almost anything of that nature goes.

 

But by being overly concerned with the past we stifle our present and future.

 

The thought of Krsna giving you an insect birth or sending you to hell is proposterous. Krsna is not a judgemental vindictive God. I can't even imagine how happy He is with you for taking such matters so seriously and chanting His Holy Names. I see only two possiblities for your future residence. Heaven and then the Spiritual Sky or the Spiritual Sky directly.

 

Hare Krsna

[Jahnava Nitai Das]

 

I will continue to chant the Hare Krishna manthra and try to put my mind at peace.

 

I am ashamed of my past. but what's done is done. I feel that I'm a bad person and a bad wife because i wasn't chaste.

 

My parents do not know. we are brahmins and my father helps out in the temple. I fear that i will get disowned if my parents find out.

 

I keep worrying that I will go to hell or be born as an insect in my next life because of what i have done.

 

Everyone in this world commits mistakes. A child learns to walk by first falling, and gradually after falling many times he can walk without falling. So in this world we all start our spiritual journey by falling many, many times. Gradually, like the child, we get the hang of things and learn to walk. Once you have learnt to walk, you shouldn't be concerned how many times you fell as a baby.

 

You are already solidly on the spiritual path having taken shelter of Lord Krishna. You are trying to live a noble life, so there is no fault in you. Just continue to chant Krishna's names, because they burn up all sinful reactions that we may have due. Not only for this life, but for millions of lives we have all performed countless sinful actions knowingly or unknowingly. Do not be so concerned about one action in this life. Rather work to purify your accumulated karma from all of your previous lives and escape this cycle of samsara. Krishna is unlimitedly merciful, and as soon as you turn to Him, He guides you and protects you. Have faith that he will take care of you.

 

Try to read the Bhagavad Gita a little bit every day. It will help you understand Krishna's love for you and clear any questions you have about your future.

[sreeram]

I really feel very proud to be a member of this group. Look at the way how people are helping others. Its really good. Frineds, Keep helping others.

 

May god bless you all..

[mahak]

Simply by posting, your sincere regret (for your minor offense BTW) is evident. Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada has written many great books concerning adjustment of behavior to enable one to attain vaisnava character. Regret of ones past sinful activity and massive subject matter concerning adjustment of certain habits to make one less prone to sinful activity and more prone to actual spiritual practice is well covered.

 

Regret is very positive, contrary to bogus psychology eugenics philospphy present in our crushed kali yuga world. Such regret is the heart of the vaisnava, even stalwart pure persons who never made mistakes like Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura are full of regret for their forgetfulness of Lord Krsna. Srila Rupa Goswami makes all the vaisnava laws, all the regulations, but in summary, He concludes there is only one positive order, always remember Krsna, and only one regulative principle, to never forget Krsna.

 

Sometimes, we even see arrangements for sinful activities to make one dive deep into regret to purify us. Perhaps in your own case, had you not engaged in questionable behavior (again, minor offense, mode of passion, not ignorance like taking heroin or crack cocaine), the regret would not be there, thus no extra thought about spiritual life, perhaps no thought of how to improve, to minimize materialistic tendency by positive sadhana bhakti purification.

 

Sadhana Bhakti, hearing, chanting harinama, etc under the guidance of a bonafide spiritual master, this is the full prayaschitta. No extra ritual is required or even desirable, because many rituals produced by religiosity have karmic implications that may be more detrimental than the initial sinful act.

 

Your expressed regret is done with, chant hare krsna and your life will be sublime. Your association, one who regrets sinful activities, is very desirable. Thanks for sharing this spiritual attribute here. hare krsna, ys, mahaksadasa

[sunken]

Thank you to everyone who replied in this thread. Thanks for your support. I feel a bit better now.

[theist]

 

Thank you to everyone who replied in this thread. Thanks for your support. I feel a bit better now.

 

Very good. We would rather see you as lifted than sunken sistersoul.

[sunken]

I guess one thing I worry about is that when i do have kids, what do i teach them about the Indian culture. What do i tell them about "one man to one woman" relationships and abstinence before marriage...when i broke those rules of our culture. I feel like a hypocrite.

[new---new]

 

I guess one thing I worry about is that when i do have kids, what do i teach them about the Indian culture. What do i tell them about "one man to one woman" relationships and abstinence before marriage...when i broke those rules of our culture. I feel like a hypocrite.

 

A smoker who advises others not to smoke is not a hypocrite.....

 

dont let you complexes (the feeling of guilt in this case)..prevent you from doing good work.......

 

be free of guilt and sadness which is ignorance and which will sap your energy and make you feel miserable preventing you from doing good work......

Do you remember all the sins of your previous lives...all misconduct of yours in previous lives ..do you worry about it? if not then dont worry about your past in this life...its gone ...now is what you have.....

 

Is there any virtuosity in feeling sad and guilty?.....why let such emotions prevent you from doing good work.....good work should be an end in itself without any expectations ......

as far as culture is concerned ..are you aware of the concept of gandharva marriage ..... it is the union of a male and female without any marriage or ritual and based purely on mutual acceptence..........

 

You worry so much because of your specific socio-religious conditioning ..... but if you were born in a culture where premarital sex and having multiple partners was normal then you wouldnt feel so bad........our socities and religions dictate whats right and wrong and we believe it .....and many of these rules are suitable for a certain time ......following the scriptures is ultimately good ....and ...you must understand the scriptures themselves declare sadness to be in the mode of ignorance.....

 

you worry about your past ....you lose peace of mind ...

you worry about being a hypocrite when you act in a certain way in the future ... you lose peace of mind..

 

so be at peace and do what ought to be done in the present now.....NO god or guru will ever Judge you.........and they will always be there to help you in your efforts......if you are worrying about karmic reactions like becoming a spider ..let me tell you that a person who is serious about spirituality never falls down because in a lower life forms it is not possible to do spiritual practices ..and it is our present desires which create our next life and if you desire to do spiritual practice then karma will provide you with a suitable body which may be human or other existance where spiritual practice is possible.......

In my opinion you did absolutely nothing wrong.....enjoying is not wrong by itself ......scriptures provide guidelines to enjoy within a restricted enviroment ...so that people do not become too attached to enjoyment and forget spirituality.......attachment to enjoyment will keep us trapped in this world which is a miserable place.....so the scriptures and their guidelines must be followed ........but dont lose sight of the intention of the rishis when they formulated the rules........

As they say ....the young man knows the rules...the old man exceptions......