Great story about family life?

[Kulapavana]

By Praghosa Prabhu (ACBSP)

(Submitted by Bhakta Rod)

I’m remembering a wonderful pastime that I of all people (A father with six beautiful children) was so fortunate to witness in Vrndavana in 1975. It was early in the morning and Srila Prabhupada was going for his morning walk.

As was the case in those days, devotees were told that only GBC’s and sannyasis could go with His Divine Grace, in order to keep things from overcrowding, and as was the case, some of the most hard-headed book distributors would assume that did not apply to them and just go anyway! I was of course a true hard head and usually found a way to go every day.

Fortunately this day was no exception and His Divine Grace was magical. He baited the managers of the temple into revealing all sorts of deficiencies in their management and then proceeded to growl his dissatisfaction to everyone of them.

“The fans weren’t running in the temple- the grounds were littered - beggars were sleeping in front of the temple on the grounds of Krsna Balarama - there was running water in all the managers quarters but not in Srila Prabhupada’s quarters etc etc etc”

It was absolute nectar watching Srila Prabhupada just “light them up” and I could tell that HH Tamal Krsna Goswami and others like Dhananjaya prabhu were a little uncomfortable with the grilling but were getting a lot of mercy and were actually feeling quite ecstatic!

Suddenly His Divine Grace - in the midst of a serious criticism - looked up the road

- instantly changed his mood - and began laughing very heartily! “Just see - just like our grhastras!”

We all looked forward upon Srila Prabhupada’s direction and - Lo and Behold - the Second Canto was coming to life before our very eyes!

Two camels stood large and lazy about 50 metres ahead of us and their necks were stretched upwards to the extreme as they pursued with great enthusiasm the thorny branches of a tree!! Instantly one grhasta devotee said, ” You mean the grhamedis don’t you Srila Prabhupada?

Srila Prabhupada looked up at him - smiled - and said

“You are talking grhamedi but I am talking grhasta. Just see these camels. They are chewing the thorns and cutting their mouths and tasting their own blood - thinking,

“Oh this is very nice. But it is their own blood they are tasting. So in family life so much trouble is there - first the pregnancy is so difficult and unpleasant for the woman - then the delivery of the child - again so much pain and then the man, he has to take responsibility and work so hard to provide all the necessities for his dependent wife and child and still only one year later the wife she is requesting “My dear husband, I want another - and then another - and then another!

In this way he is forced to drink his own blood and he is thinking

“Oh this is very nice”!

Now at this point the grhasta devotee appeared a little confused and he said,

“Well Srila Prabhupada, I thought you said every woman should be married and the purpose of marriage was children and protection of women and men who would otherwise be prone to unrestricted sex”?

Srila Prabhupada said,

“Oh yes they must be married! They must!”

But then he stopped and looked lovingly into the eyes of his quizzical disciple and said,

“But always remember that you are marrying because of the influence of the modes of nature”!

(In other words it is passion - not compassion that compels a man to accept a wife and unless a man is honest with himself he will never profit form the ashrama!)

At this point the devotee said,

“Well if at least some men don’t marry and reproduce children then eventually the population will dwindle down to nothing and the world would be completely uninhabited”!

Srila Prabhupada chuckled and asked,

“Do you think that is really going to happen soon”?

At this everyone joined Srila Prabhupada in laughing at the virtual impossibility of this happening.

Then Srila Prabhupada added with his transcendental insight,

“Actually we are after that - birth control - no more birth in this material world. Do you know what is a mustard seed? Have you seen a bag of mustard seeds? So this material universe is compared to a mustard seed! And there are innumerable material universes emanating from the pores of Maha-Vishu just as there are innumerable mustard seeds in the bag of mustard seeds.

If one mustard seed is lost is it really a loss? No it is no loss! So if one material universe is complete vacated by all the living entities who have rejected material life and now only want Krsna - Is that a bad thing? Huh? Is that a bad thing? So we will not stay here in this world any longer without our Lord Krsna - Is that a bad mentality? No - that is a good mentality!

My Guru Maharaja used to say that if he could produce Krsna Conscious children - He was prepared to have sex hundreds of times - BUT he remained lifelong Brahmacari - sannyasa - all his life! Just see!”

I treasure this moment with His Divine Grace more today then the day I heard him speak these things!

Unless I can deliver my sons and daughters to His Divine Grace as committed servants, I am no different then those camels in Vrndavana who so conveniently provided His Divine Grace the opportunity to preach to his eager disciples!

[Kulapavana]

I often think that this type of understanding of the grihastha asrama is at least partially responsible for the sorry state of marriages in ISKCON. How many of the 50+ devotees who received sannyasa from Srila Prabhupada actually kept their vows? Less than 10% based on most accounts. And what was the true cost of promoting artificial renunciation of that sort for our society and for inividual devotees? And where are all these "renunciates" today? The grihastha asrama may not be glamorous but it is the proper place for the absolute majority of devotees in this day and age. We should therefore concentrate on promoting proper grihastha life instead of glamorizing premature and most often fake renunciation among ISKCON devotees.

One more thing. Whether we are able to "deliver our sons and daughters to His Divine Grace as committed servants" or not, may not always be a measure of our competency as grihasthas or devotees. Even Srila Prabhupada's children did not exactly turn out the way we may describe as "committed bhaktas". Truth is, as parents we do what we can and the rest is up to the individual child and Lord Krsna.

Great story, but it requires a little bit of purport to hit home.