Perhaps I was too harsh towards my parents?

[thehat]

Yesterday my parents came home from a puja. I don't really go to these pujas because it tends to just be worship towards the devas rather than Lord Krsna, plus I can never understand a word the pandit says.

 

Anyhow my mother says to me "the pandit was saying that Hanuman said you shouldn't kill animals and that she was going to try and not eat meat".

 

...And then my mind was triggered off and I had said "In what book did Hanuman say this, and why is this news to you? You're not meant to eat meat, In the Bhagavad-Gita, in the Srimad-Bhagavatam and in the vedas the instruction is that you're not meant to even eat it. So why do you make a deal out of this just because Hanuman said it?"

 

My mother was giving some response along the lines that the pandit was indirectly saying that people shouldn't eat it, but I was so arrogant and hot-headed that I didn't even hear her. I hate when I do this, it's a habit I really need to shake.

 

From there I had spoke "Even in the Bhagavatam they say how Maharaja Prakasit said that you can't advance in spiritual realization if you eat meat, so there's basically no point in doing your pujas, you can't pick out what you don't like from the intructions and only follow what you like, that's condemned".

 

My father who was in the kitchen and who could hear just said "shooo". It's his way of saying be quiet.

 

So yeah I understand I went way over board, I was far too passionate. This is a problem i'm battling right now. I want to be as humble as necessary, however I keep getting carried away. My poor parents, I should've been happy that they were getting some understanding and encouraged these realizations rather than condemning it..

 

However, today my parents happily indulged in eating lamb - so I don't know what to make of that. Subconsciously and consciously the whole act of performing puja in the morning to the devas and then eating meat for dinner just offends me.

 

Oh and my head begins to really boil when I hear relatives on my fathers side start to talk about God/Demigods or the ashram I attend, speaking of how in a different country they always go to the feast and eat the maha prasad and how they want to attend the ashram I go to, and what kind of practises they carry out.

I start to think that they're just going to these holy places and not learning anything, rather just going for the food and then they continue with their dirty habits when it's over.

 

I've got some very cruel emotions, I need to calm down big time. I mean, I myself am certainly not perfect and am very filthy person in deed. I don't understand why I'm like this or how to curb this.

 

Any advice or suggestions... What do you guys think?

 

Thank you,

 

Gauranga!

[yogesh]

Hare Krsna

 

I understand I was also in your situation. Try not be Fanatical and calm down and do the following and see the change that willl take place.

 

The way to approach this issue is to be kind to your parents especially your mother. The reason I say focus on your mother is because even though your father may be the head of the house it is your mother who controlls the household.

 

My Advice to you is to have patient and try and preach more to your mother about the healthy aspect of being a vegeterian. She is the one that cooks for the family and is the one responsible for the health of the family.

 

From Our Indian background you know that we have a variety of vegetable foods which is much more varied than non-veg dishes.

 

Try and attend the regular programs at the Hare Krishna Mandir and it is very important to take your parents and relatives along. Allow them to taste the Maha Prasadam/ Maha mercy of Lord Gauranga.

 

The secret is to Get your parents involved in the temple program and slowly you will see the mercy of Gauranga Mahaprabhu.

 

With constant chanting/Sankirtan it will help cleanse the inside then slowly you will see the miracle of the Holy name.

 

The only way to change your parents is by involving them in the Hare Krsna practise rather than shutting them out.

 

I can attest to this because I was in the same situation you are in. Now not only my parents but also my relatives are more attached to Lord Krsna.

 

Wishing you all the best. And remember share the mercy of Gauranga Mahaprabhu with your parents.

 

Hare Krsna/Krishna

 

JAy Nitai Gauranga!!!

 

Jay Sirla Prabhupada

[gHari]

Humility.

[suchandra]

 

Hare Krsna

 

I understand I was also in your situation. Try not be Fanatical and calm down and do the following and see the change that willl take place.

 

The way to approach this issue is to be kind to your parents especially your mother. The reason I say focus on your mother is because even though your father may be the head of the house it is your mother who controlls the household.

 

My Advice to you is to have patient and try and preach more to your mother about the healthy aspect of being a vegeterian. She is the one that cooks for the family and is the one responsible for the health of the family.

 

From Our Indian background you know that we have a variety of vegetable foods which is much more varied than non-veg dishes.

 

Try and attend the regular programs at the Hare Krishna Mandir and it is very important to take your parents and relatives along. Allow them to taste the Maha Prasadam/ Maha mercy of Lord Gauranga.

 

The secret is to Get your parents involved in the temple program and slowly you will see the mercy of Gauranga Mahaprabhu.

 

With constant chanting/Sankirtan it will help cleanse the inside then slowly you will see the miracle of the Holy name.

 

The only way to change your parents is by involving them in the Hare Krsna practise rather than shutting them out.

 

I can attest to this because I was in the same situation you are in. Now not only my parents but also my relatives are more attached to Lord Krsna.

 

Wishing you all the best. And remember share the mercy of Gauranga Mahaprabhu with your parents.

 

Hare Krsna/Krishna

 

JAy Nitai Gauranga!!!

 

Jay Sirla Prabhupada

These are good points, changes often happen out of sudden in a non-rational way when people get a higher taste by experiencing something better, for example maha-prasadam. To understand things within the mind might be good for sometime, but how many Western Vaishnava fell back, actually so many. Parents did so much for our upbringing and besides, they were chosen by nature to be our parents. Parents need acknowledgement, even when they're not pure devotees. It is even a great achievement when they at least don't eat cow meat. Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur says in his biography ("From that very day the sinful reaction from meat eating went from my heart and mercy arose [in me] towards the jivas") that he ate meat till the age of 50. So it is may be better to be patient.

 

"Just like, you know amongst the Hindus, the flesh-eaters, they’re recommended that “If you want to eat meat, then you sacrifice one goat before the goddess Kālī.” And Goddess Kālī is worshiped once in a month, on the dark moon day, at night. And there are mantras. The mantras say that… Within the ear of the animal it is said that, “You are sacrificing your life before the deity; so next life, immediately, you get a human form of life. And when you get a human form of life, you’ll have the right to kill this man also.” This is the mantra. Now, if you are a sane man, understand that “I am killing this goat at the risk of my life in next birth.

So why I am going to take such responsibility? Better stop it.” So, it is for discouraging. If I say directly, “Don’t eat meat,” he’ll protest, “Why shall I not? It is our food. I must eat.” Therefore, instead of directly prohibiting, the śāstra says, “Yes, yes, you can eat. But by sacrificing it before Goddess Kālī.” That means condition, restriction."

 

 

 

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 2.3.9

by His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda

Los Angeles, May 26, 1972

http://causelessmercy.com/t/t/720526SB.LA.htm?i=1972

[thehat]

Thanks for the great tips yogesh and suchandra.

Suchandra I'd just like to add though; you say it's best not to bash his dietary habbit directly as he'd be likely to protest, and instead it's best to explaining the conditions...

 

I had spoken those words to my father once when he was picking me up from the Hare Krishna/Vasihnava ashram - he had probablly forgotten it.

 

Since then I only really explained the reactions/consequences.

[AncientMariner]

 

Yesterday my parents came home from a puja. I don't really go to these pujas because it tends to just be worship towards the devas rather than Lord Krsna, plus I can never understand a word the pandit says.

 

Anyhow my mother says to me "the pandit was saying that Hanuman said you shouldn't kill animals and that she was going to try and not eat meat".

 

...And then my mind was triggered off and I had said "In what book did Hanuman say this, and why is this news to you? You're not meant to eat meat, In the Bhagavad-Gita, in the Srimad-Bhagavatam and in the vedas the instruction is that you're not meant to even eat it. So why do you make a deal out of this just because Hanuman said it?"

 

My mother was giving some response along the lines that the pandit was indirectly saying that people shouldn't eat it, but I was so arrogant and hot-headed that I didn't even hear her. I hate when I do this, it's a habit I really need to shake.

 

From there I had spoke "Even in the Bhagavatam they say how Maharaja Prakasit said that you can't advance in spiritual realization if you eat meat, so there's basically no point in doing your pujas, you can't pick out what you don't like from the intructions and only follow what you like, that's condemned".

 

My father who was in the kitchen and who could hear just said "shooo". It's his way of saying be quiet.

 

So yeah I understand I went way over board, I was far too passionate. This is a problem i'm battling right now. I want to be as humble as necessary, however I keep getting carried away. My poor parents, I should've been happy that they were getting some understanding and encouraged these realizations rather than condemning it..

 

However, today my parents happily indulged in eating lamb - so I don't know what to make of that. Subconsciously and consciously the whole act of performing puja in the morning to the devas and then eating meat for dinner just offends me.

 

Oh and my head begins to really boil when I hear relatives on my fathers side start to talk about God/Demigods or the ashram I attend, speaking of how in a different country they always go to the feast and eat the maha prasad and how they want to attend the ashram I go to, and what kind of practises they carry out.

I start to think that they're just going to these holy places and not learning anything, rather just going for the food and then they continue with their dirty habits when it's over.

 

I've got some very cruel emotions, I need to calm down big time. I mean, I myself am certainly not perfect and am very filthy person in deed. I don't understand why I'm like this or how to curb this.

 

Any advice or suggestions... What do you guys think?

 

Thank you,

 

Gauranga!

 

 

I had same problems when I first started reading Hare Krishna literature as I found myself agreeing that our slaughterhouse civilization is pretty disgusting. I have pretty much given up trying to convince anyone from eating meat as they just view me as a fanatical hippy or something when I do that. It sucks but I tried and the way I view it now it is it is up to Krishna because if he wants people to stop eating meat he has to empower someone to stop it or do it himself because I don't have any meaningful influence on anyone. To keep my sanity now I pretty much just go by the Christian ethic of judge not lest ye be judged.

[thehat]

Yogesh, I've been thinking over what you've said and I think I may have a good idea. Do you think if I tried engaging them in chanting a round or two with me on a particular day of the week progress could be made?

 

If so, does it matter if they've eaten meat prior to the chanting?

 

Ancient Mariner, that is a very humble position to take up in my opinnion. In fact, I take that stance with everyone outside of my family. I don't know the exact reason as to why these discussions only seem to take place within my family. Maybe it has something to do with so many relatives coming up to me and saying "I heard you don't eat meat, what will you do for energy?" Ha. Certainly is mind boggling.

[Baobabtree]

I'm probably going to evoke a fair amount of criticism for saying this, but perhaps you should allow your parents to continue their own spiritual path, and you your own? Personally, I'd rather your parents take up vegetarianism, but you can't really force them to do that, just keep preaching. Furthermore I must ask, if the Vedas themsleves prescribe the worship of devas, why should your parents not be able to do such. I know you believe they can't obtain Golok doing this, but perhaps they aren't ment to yet?

[indulekhadasi]

 

Yogesh, I've been thinking over what you've said and I think I may have a good idea. Do you think if I tried engaging them in chanting a round or two with me on a particular day of the week progress could be made?

 

If so, does it matter if they've eaten meat prior to the chanting?

 

Ancient Mariner, that is a very humble position to take up in my opinnion. In fact, I take that stance with everyone outside of my family. I don't know the exact reason as to why these discussions only seem to take place within my family. Maybe it has something to do with so many relatives coming up to me and saying "I heard you don't eat meat, what will you do for energy?" Ha. Certainly is mind boggling.

 

I know you wanted yogeshji's answer but I want to cut in here and say something.

 

Yes, please encourage them to chant a round or two with you. It will be a very enlivening experience for them and they will feel that you are including them in your spiritual life which will make them feel more comfortable. Doesn't matter they eat meat, by the chanting process ones heart becomes cleansed and after a while they will not have the craving for indulging in bad habits.

 

I wish you all the best.

 

Hare Krishna and Jai Nitai

indulekhadasi

[thehat]

Thanks indulekhadasi for your insight, it's very much appreciated. I will talk to them about it and hopefully we can carry out the chanting this week!

But I'd like to just re-confirm something with you...

So it's ok if they've eaten meat during the day or for dinner, they can still chant with me?

 

Baobatree, your question is fine, I am happy to answer, this is a discussion board...

I guess my reasoning would be that because I am quite partial to them I'd want them to have a similar kind of high goal to me. I'd love for them to try and break free from the cycles of birth and death. My mother has expressed to me that the notion of breaking free from that cycle is good - I was just trying to show them a great path. You see, they've never read any books relating to these matters, they only understand what's been passed down from family to family through tradition. I guess I felt I could possibly guide in them in someway with this great knowledge. Much like how a parent would try and advise his/her child of a better path to take socialy, academicaly etc etc.

But if I can't, then I can't. I wanted to try at least.

[theist]

 

Humility.

 

Humility (they are your parents afterall) and some gentle persuasion. Example is the best method of teaching.

 

If you feel you have too harsh approach them and apologize. This sincere humble attitude will do more to bring them around then all your quoting at them about Maharaja Pariksit.

[sopatel]

you are very passionate because you know what the affects are and more importantly you have become firm in you belief. In addition to these people being you parents, they are also knowledge seeking souls and they need time. Remember that old habits die hard and every individual soul is advancing according to his/her own understanding. What you said in anger was an outburst but also a part of your own ego. Make such encounters with others a learning experience and try to become better and make others better.

 

Might I suggest, when you parents talk about "stopping" a certain habit or quitting, why not support them and show them articles or even videos.

There is a very disturbing video in the news section on cow slaughter and this can be related to all animals, Do you think that chicken, lamb, and other animals are treated any better?

 

There are things you can do for yourself and for your parents but please remember that each soul is individual and needs to grow in there own way...your duty is only to guide them with the knowledge you have aquired. It is not your right to expect them to follow you lead.

 

Humitly, chanting, and practice...do all of those things and slowly enviornment will affect all those you love and obviously care about.

 

 

Jai Shri Krishna

[indulekhadasi]

 

Thanks indulekhadasi for your insight, it's very much appreciated. I will talk to them about it and hopefully we can carry out the chanting this week!

But I'd like to just re-confirm something with you...

So it's ok if they've eaten meat during the day or for dinner, they can still chant with me?

 

Hare Krishna thehat!

 

Yes, that is ok if they eat meat during the day or for dinner. Let them taste the nectar of the holy name before giving them a big lecture. Many people feel that they need to experience things rather than just take things that people tell them. You know what I mean? When they experience the bliss in chanting Hare Krishna then their faith in the scriptures will deepen and therefore will accept what the previous acharyas have said as authoritative. Then gradually the bad habits will fall away. Please give them a lot of your association also so that they will get some good devotee association as support (just don't get too irritated if they ask to many questions or have a realization that is obvious to you)!

 

Hopes this helps.

Hare Krishna and Jai Nitai!

indulekhadasi

[thehat]

Thank you all very much for your insight. Thank you very much sopatel and indulekhadasi for your last posts - I found great insight in your responses and I will work on bringing them into chanting activities.

 

Theist, what you're saying is good too, I understand humility is an aspect that I need to strengthen within myself. I think I will leave it to the practical proccess to evoke such realizations rather than propound ideal on them from now on.

 

I'm sure from time to time I may slip up and start propounding such ideals towards them, but I'm going to work on making a greater conscious effort to avoid it.

 

Thank you all,

 

Hare Krishna!

[bhaktajan]

"Novelas" are an arcane word for fiction novels, but the word means just that in latin based languages.

 

So, read aloud to your parents from the Bhagavatam [remember the purpose behind the writting of the Purana Histories] One story at a time. Skip Srila Prabhupada's purports to keep the story-line flowing.

 

Even if, at first, one is hesitant to hear the narrations of the Bhagavatam--they will not be able to resist listening once the story is underway and they have grasp the initial progession of a story.

 

All the Puranic histories strike a primodial chord in the recesses of the heart and soul--once they do listen attentively the next phse you must pre-prepare for is that you must do such readings on a regular basis, a set time every so often as is practical--but you must keep to some regulated schedule lest you loose the oppurtunity to spread the nectar.

 

happy veggimite dreams,

Bhaktajan

[krishnadasa]

practice made men perfect,,,, from mara mara it became rama rama and a thief became Valmiki and wrote ramayana

[krishnadasa]

And also, its not good to derogate any of the Devas, they are highly exhalted souls and devotees of the Lord.. You should understand that Krishna is Supereme and the rest are his devotees ,,, devotees have to be served to obtain Krishna,, if you are parents worhsipping other dieties , you should not stop them, rather make them understand that the Key for the treasury is with Krishna and other Gods can get them money if and only if Visnu wills.....In that way atleast you can make them BELIEVE that Krishna or Visnu is supreme,, hari bol