Pls help me!!!my married life luks ruined!

[luv4god]

Hello,

 

I am a female aged 24 and i had a love cum arranged marriage. I got married on Nov 25 2007 with my parents and his parents permission. Irrespective of his social, financial, educational status my parents agreed to get me married to him bcos of the unconditional love i had and still have for him and seemed like he had the same.

 

But i just lived happily with him for over 1 month and after that we have been having lots of problems. it started with his drinking habits, small fights, gals.and slowly as things were getting back to normal for us his mother started to create lots of issues bcos of which he wud beat me. As he was not able to control or scold or ask her to shut up , he started avoiding me and stopped comign home. he started drinking a lot.

 

I adjusted for few months and went to my mother's house on April14,2008. after this he promised to my parents he will take me soon after shifting his house and convincing his mother. but he never did. Now his family and he are asking for a divorce. Looks like he hates me a lot now. he also has porblems like drinking , lying, inclination to having affairs and flirting and stabbing at my back.

 

We did not see if our astrological charts match since it was a love marriage but now i think i have to see. Please help me on this. Our details are below:

 

My Details:

Date of birth: July 13 1985 [saturday]

Time of birth: 4:40 AM

Place Of Birth : Chennai

 

My Husband's details:

Date of Birth: July 09 1985 [ Tuesday]

Time of Birth: 8:40 pm

Place Of Birth: Chennai

 

Please look into our charts and kindly answer my questions 1] will our marriage survive? 2] will he start loving me like before and change to become a better person leaving his bad habits? 3] when is the good time to have my parents speak to him about living with me? 4] will i bear his kids and live with him 5] how is life for both of us a] together and b] individually.

 

Currently we are not in talking terms as he is showing lots of hatred towards me and even my name. He hates me tat much. and from what i heard about him and his speech , he has no intentions of living with me. But i want our marriage to work out. he is the first person i fell in love with and i have sacrificed a lot for making his life better socially and economically also. pls help me.

 

I have no words to express what lot of pain im going through and i know only god can rescue me but with the blessing of elders like u all i can head to the right direction shown. Please helpppppppppppppppppp me.

 

Thank you.

[luv4god]

hello , please someone help me with our charts......

[ppena]

 

Hello,

 

I am a female aged 24 and i had a love cum arranged marriage. I got married on Nov 25 2007 with my parents and his parents permission. Irrespective of his social, financial, educational status my parents agreed to get me married to him bcos of the unconditional love i had and still have for him and seemed like he had the same.

 

But i just lived happily with him for over 1 month and after that we have been having lots of problems. it started with his drinking habits, small fights, gals.and slowly as things were getting back to normal for us his mother started to create lots of issues bcos of which he wud beat me. As he was not able to control or scold or ask her to shut up , he started avoiding me and stopped comign home. he started drinking a lot.

 

I adjusted for few months and went to my mother's house on April14,2008. after this he promised to my parents he will take me soon after shifting his house and convincing his mother. but he never did. Now his family and he are asking for a divorce. Looks like he hates me a lot now. he also has porblems like drinking , lying, inclination to having affairs and flirting and stabbing at my back.

 

We did not see if our astrological charts match since it was a love marriage but now i think i have to see. Please help me on this. Our details are below:

 

My Details:

Date of birth: July 13 1985 [saturday]

Time of birth: 4:40 AM

Place Of Birth : Chennai

 

My Husband's details:

Date of Birth: July 09 1985 [ Tuesday]

Time of Birth: 8:40 pm

Place Of Birth: Chennai

 

Please look into our charts and kindly answer my questions 1] will our marriage survive? 2] will he start loving me like before and change to become a better person leaving his bad habits? 3] when is the good time to have my parents speak to him about living with me? 4] will i bear his kids and live with him 5] how is life for both of us a] together and b] individually.

 

Currently we are not in talking terms as he is showing lots of hatred towards me and even my name. He hates me tat much. and from what i heard about him and his speech , he has no intentions of living with me. But i want our marriage to work out. he is the first person i fell in love with and i have sacrificed a lot for making his life better socially and economically also. pls help me.

 

I have no words to express what lot of pain im going through and i know only god can rescue me but with the blessing of elders like u all i can head to the right direction shown. Please helpppppppppppppppppp me.

 

Thank you.

 

I don't have to look at the charts. It's obvious you must get a divorce from you have written. If the situation were more subtle, of course, I would look to astrology.

[luv4god]

Thanks a lot for your reply!!

 

But im really not ready for a divorce since I was true and so many things happened in so little time and I somehow feel i want my life back with my husband . I was and im still sincere and i really want to undertsand what went wrong and how to fix it. Please help me!! pls pls.

[luv4god]

Please suggest some remedy....

[rohini_nakshatra]

u got married when you were barely 22 years old !!

It is always hard to take a breakup/divorce, no matter how bad the situation. But that doesn't mean that it is not the right course of action. It is good to listen to your heart, but sometimes, one needs to listen to their head too!

This is not pure lecture, I have some idea of what it can be like. but trust me, it is better to cut your losses and get out. one thing you need to understand is that everything is not in our hands, we are just mortal human beings. you can not change the character of your husband, no matter how much you want to. please don't even think about kids at this point. you have your whole life ahead of you. you are only 23 (23 is your legal age, not 24).

You made a mistake once, now don't continue making more mistakes. listen to your parents advice. talk to your friends. they will all tell u the same thing.

[luv4god]

 

u got married when you were barely 22 years old !!

It is always hard to take a breakup/divorce, no matter how bad the situation. But that doesn't mean that it is not the right course of action. It is good to listen to your heart, but sometimes, one needs to listen to their head too!

This is not pure lecture, I have some idea of what it can be like. but trust me, it is better to cut your losses and get out. one thing you need to understand is that everything is not in our hands, we are just mortal human beings. you can not change the character of your husband, no matter how much you want to. please don't even think about kids at this point. you have your whole life ahead of you. you are only 23 (23 is your legal age, not 24).

You made a mistake once, now don't continue making more mistakes. listen to your parents advice. talk to your friends. they will all tell u the same thing.

 

I really understand that its difficult to change a person's character but he was not like this before... that is why im worried ... it mite sound irritating when i still cry abt him and my life but im just not able to get rid of all tat feeling. i feel miserable and i want to understand if this is just a phase im facing in my married life or if this is the end of the story itself as per our charts.

[rohini_nakshatra]

Hi,

there are a lot of people in society who put on a mask in front of other people. it is always hard to understand how a person can change so soon. it has happened to one of my friends, whose husband changed within 2 months of marriage. these are a sort of personality disorder (there is a whole class of them...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder

i am not saying that your husband has a personality disorder, but i am saying it is possible. also, know that this is his real face, and he had been hiding it from you till now.

you are not at all sounding irritating, and i can understand why you'd be so confused and shattered. staying away from him will help u look at the situation more objectively. go to temple, talk to friends, do whatever helps you get some peace of mind.

[luv4god]

 

Hi,

there are a lot of people in society who put on a mask in front of other people. it is always hard to understand how a person can change so soon. it has happened to one of my friends, whose husband changed within 2 months of marriage. these are a sort of personality disorder (there is a whole class of them

i am not saying that your husband has a personality disorder, but i am saying it is possible. also, know that this is his real face, and he had been hiding it from you till now.

you are not at all sounding irritating, and i can understand why you'd be so confused and shattered. staying away from him will help u look at the situation more objectively. go to temple, talk to friends, do whatever helps you get some peace of mind.

 

Thank u Rohini_Nakshatra! i will try my best and leave the rest to god....

im still trying hard not to think of him and wait until god starts playing his game. But i came here to see if anyone can give me an insight on what is written astrologically.....I appreciate ur time and concern to my situation. thanks a lot.

[luv4god]

Please someone help me with the astrological clarifications... im new here and not aware of how to request for help.please help.

[sakthi]

something which cannot be accepted in any ways.thinking husband as a cruel person is one such thing.i am also in the same situation.me and you are sailing in the same boat.my husband and me had a wonderful love life after our engagement.ours is an purely arranged marriage.i developed a liking on him at the very first moment when i saw him when he had come for bride-seeing.Though we had little fights before our marriage i didnt expect him that he will be leaving me just like that when his parents asked him to do that.i couldnt digest when he said bad words and humiliated me before everyone.i equally fought with him because i am much a self respected girl.wait i am not using this forum to tell my story.Though my parents are telling me he is such a bad brought up and that character cannot be changed forever i am not able to digest those statements.Though my husband said some cruel words which i cannot share here i still believe he definitley will have another good face which he had shown me before our marriage.i cannot imagine him as a very cruel person and sadist.what i am trying to tell here is just forget about everything for some year.i know how it will be difficult.dont decide anything now,divorce him or thinking of reunion or thinking of second marriage nothing..be calm for some months and let the time passby.we all did some paabams in previous karma which is given back to us by god now.wait till that period.dont take any important decisions now and dont accept your husband decisions also.SasiSekaran bhaya helped me a lot by looking into my horoscope and asked me to wait till 2009 completion.I am going to do that.pray to god.pray to him to keep you happy and forgive all your paabams which u did.yesterday i just browsed for something and i got this forum.This is god's decision.he knows what to do and when to do.i was under frustration and when i accidentally came to see this forum i posted my worryings and got immediate reply from an unknown brother.i owe him a lot.Now i am very happy.i have some confidence in life.i hope things will be mended soon.God has shown me the right path to forget my worries.Though the solution is not an immediate one i hope some good thing will definitely happen .dont push your life by yourself.Then you will feel worries.take life as it comes.right things will happen at right times.he has decided this husband for you and he will be having solution also for your marital life.when time rolls out,things will be going in a right way.have that confidence. lots of good athmas are members here.without expecting anything in back they are doing their service keeping bhagavad Gita's statement in mind.you will hear soon from any one of them.My best wishes..

[luv4god]

 

something which cannot be accepted in any ways.thinking husband as a cruel person is one such thing.i am also in the same situation.me and you are sailing in the same boat.my husband and me had a wonderful love life after our engagement.ours is an purely arranged marriage.i developed a liking on him at the very first moment when i saw him when he had come for bride-seeing.Though we had little fights before our marriage i didnt expect him that he will be leaving me just like that when his parents asked him to do that.i couldnt digest when he said bad words and humiliated me before everyone.i equally fought with him because i am much a self respected girl.wait i am not using this forum to tell my story.Though my parents are telling me he is such a bad brought up and that character cannot be changed forever i am not able to digest those statements.Though my husband said some cruel words which i cannot share here i still believe he definitley will have another good face which he had shown me before our marriage.i cannot imagine him as a very cruel person and sadist.what i am trying to tell here is just forget about everything for some year.i know how it will be difficult.dont decide anything now,divorce him or thinking of reunion or thinking of second marriage nothing..be calm for some months and let the time passby.we all did some paabams in previous karma which is given back to us by god now.wait till that period.dont take any important decisions now and dont accept your husband decisions also.SasiSekaran bhaya helped me a lot by looking into my horoscope and asked me to wait till 2009 completion.I am going to do that.pray to god.pray to him to keep you happy and forgive all your paabams which u did.yesterday i just browsed for something and i got this forum.This is god's decision.he knows what to do and when to do.i was under frustration and when i accidentally came to see this forum i posted my worryings and got immediate reply from an unknown brother.i owe him a lot.Now i am very happy.i have some confidence in life.i hope things will be mended soon.God has shown me the right path to forget my worries.Though the solution is not an immediate one i hope some good thing will definitely happen .dont push your life by yourself.Then you will feel worries.take life as it comes.right things will happen at right times.he has decided this husband for you and he will be having solution also for your marital life.when time rolls out,things will be going in a right way.have that confidence. lots of good athmas are members here.without expecting anything in back they are doing their service keeping bhagavad Gita's statement in mind.you will hear soon from any one of them.My best wishes..

 

Thanks a lot, Sakthi! i dont knw wats wrong with the universe i hear many people are having troubles like us... But thanks a lot for ur words and its healing...especially when its coming from someone who feels the same pain.. i have already started waitig very patiently these days cos the more i push, the more things go out of my hand.... I will surely wait confidently . after all i believe a lot in god and i know he will show me the light!

 

Yes im expecting someone to help me with the horoscopes.... i have been viewing this site for about a month now and i clearly felt i cud get some serious directions here. im waiting for someone to come for my rescue like the brother of urs...

 

I refresh this page every 15minutes to see if i have received some directions... hopefully i will receive soon...

 

God bless u! God only does good to good people! Things will turn good for you!

[HST108]

Dear luv4god,

As Ppena ji and others have pointed out very wisely without having to even check horoscopes it is obvious from what you have written that you will be better off getting a divorce rather than trying to force the situation by wanting your husband to change. And waiting patiently for him to change may not be a good idea as well. How long are you going to wait? Are you willing to put your life on hold indefinitely? You see, Luv4god, I have been through what you are going through right now and have survived it! I not only survived it but once I let go of being attached to a particular outcome I realized that the Universe had much better things in store for me. Today I am happily married to a wonderful man! My first marriage was arranged and couple of astrologers confirmed the horoscope matched – which I find surprising when I think of it now. My first husband seemed to be the perfect son-in-law that my parents wanted and naturally I liked him as well. He was good-looking, well-educated and very well off. Before we got married he presented himself as the perfect gentleman, considerate, attentive, generous, always going out of his way to please my parents etc. But he was wearing mask! After few months into our marriage I discovered he had another side to him -- he was pathologically jealous, controlling and unreasonable to the point I felt like I was a prisoner in his house. It was a nightmare with him hurling constant accusations at me and picking fights with almost every day. Clinically this problem is known as a paranoid personality disorder (PPD). At first I wished him to change but I soon realized that I was being very naive -- he was just being who he really is and a leopard never changes his spots! When I realized there was no hope for him I decided to get a divorce. You see if you are in a relationship with some one whom you are trying to change then that relationship is never going to work. You can only change yourself. You can't change other people. So I weighed things up – I asked myself do I want to be with the wrong person or do I want to explore other possibilities and find real happiness? After that the decision was easy! Letting go of wanting a particular outcome (that is wanting my husband to change) has been very liberating for me. I now apply that to everything in life. So I got divorced. Couple of years later I met a wonderful man and got married to him and at the moment I am very happily married (we didn't even check horoscopes). I guess that is my reward for learning from my first marriage and making the inner transformation. To you Luv4god, I can say this -- sometimes for something really good to come into your life you need to clean up the clutter and debris from something that is not working for you. You need to make room other possibilities. Good luck.

[luv4god]

Hi with due respect to eveyone who posted their advice... I understand my situation is worse but i was actually not looking for personal advice, though receiving it has been a kind of healing. I was looking for someone who can help me in reading our charts and provide me an overview of what is in store astrologically.... I see everyone is being helped in this regard with relevant posts except me.... Someone please help with my requests...

[luv4god]

y is no one willing to help? is tat bcos i explained my issue. mayb tats y. can some1 atleast advice how to delete this topic?

[ppena]

 

Hi with due respect to eveyone who posted their advice... I understand my situation is worse but i was actually not looking for personal advice, though receiving it has been a kind of healing. I was looking for someone who can help me in reading our charts and provide me an overview of what is in store astrologically.... I see everyone is being helped in this regard with relevant posts except me.... Someone please help with my requests...

 

From an astrological point of view, your husband karma is not good to be honest.

 

Jupiter is in the 8th debilitated. The fact that it is retrograde might help a little but still it's not so good.

 

Also moon is with Rahu and aspected by Saturn so your mind is often cloudy/confused.

 

It's very important to honor Lord Jupiter. On every Thursday purchase for yourself a small amount of chickpeas and raisins. Cook the chickpeas until they are soft and then add raisins. You can sweeten with a little sugar. It doesn't take that long.

 

Offer a prayer to God and eat some of this. In addition you should offer the remainder to anyone who wants it. You can say it's a special preparation which brings good luck.

 

Also some charity to priests, Gurus, etc. is in order and will really help you.

 

There is a book entitled "the greatness of Saturn". In your chart Saturn is very strong so you don't need it for that, but there are certain rituals mentioned for Jupiter which you might appreciate.

 

In fact the chickpeas and raisins upaya I mentioned is directly from that great book.

 

Best of luck,

 

Pablo

[luv4god]

Thank you ppena ji..... i do see there is a lot of problem... I will definetly do as you said..... the book tat u suggested "greatness of saturn" is that in english can u tell me the author of the book....

 

And abt lord jupiter? what is the vedic name of this planet? and is the worship and pooja of this planet available in some book?

 

please advice.

[ppena]

 

Thank you ppena ji..... i do see there is a lot of problem... I will definetly do as you said..... the book tat u suggested "greatness of saturn" is that in english can u tell me the author of the book....

 

And abt lord jupiter? what is the vedic name of this planet? and is the worship and pooja of this planet available in some book?

 

please advice.

 

"The greatness of Saturn" by Dr. Svoboda is in English. You can find it at Amazon.com

 

"Guru" is the sanskrit name for Jupiter. He represents Gurus, teachers, spiritual preceptors, enlightened beings, brahmins and all the forces of light & divine grace (especially Ganesh). He favors the color yellow or Gold and represents all things large or massive.

 

I love my Guru's description of the word "GURU". He said, "The Guru is not God. Nor is the Guru a human being. The Guru is simply the Guru, the grace bestowing power of God."

 

The sanskrit word "Guru" also means "heavy" and he not only causes physical heaviness & fat but also importance.

 

Jupiter rules the liver and sometimes people with weak Jupiter may have liver problems susceptibility to Jaundice, Cirrosis, etc. Milk thistle is particularly good for cleansing the liver.

 

Thursday is the day of the Guru. In fact the word "Thursday" comes from Celtic Mythology, literally "Thor's day" Thor being the God of thunder and similar to Indra in Vedic thought.

 

- Pablo

[U.Sanjeeva Rao]

LFG,

Astrologically you are not inclined for marriage.Some how for your known/unknown reasons you got married to this person ,you may call it love.

You can save the marriage if you want by praying Mars by worshiping Lord Subrahmanya on every Tuesday.Wear red corals and Pearls chain regularly.

USR

[sasisekaran_pti]

om gurubhyo namah

 

namaste

 

dear luv4god,

 

love is blind has come very well in your case. your husband's star revathi

is the 25th one from that of yours. if multilples of nine ( a requirement ) is

left out, it is the seventh star called 'naidhana' , which at all costs you

must have avoided. astrology is not a subject to be brushed aside in disbelief

because of many failed arranged marriages . many youngsters

for this reason go all out and choose their partners. a few of them end

successful. but you must understand that it is the karma that finally emerges

superior.

 

moon makes a woman a mother. if moon comes under stress it is all the

more difficult in a women's chart than in men. moreover moon is your

atmakaraka ( the most travelled planet in any house ) and the lord of

second house called kutumba sthana. affliction coming to such a planet

has manifested in you case in an important area of life.

 

rahu as dara karaka ( spouse ) is placed in soonya nakshatra from the

house of upapada ( house of marriage ). this makes a great emptiness

in the marriage. you were married in nov 2007, exactly when rahu was

transiting the upapada lagna and saturn placed seventh to it, venus,

the karaka for marriage was neecha in kanya . certainly a bad transit.

you are running rahu dasa and rahu bhukthi, which is bad. this rahu

afflicts your moon as well as seventh house ( house of relationship and

outside world that you interact ). seventh house is also aspected by

saturn and mars. the pressure on the seventh house is too much.

to add fuel to the fire, guru , the lord of seventh house is neehca.

to come out of such a problem it is certainly a herculean task.

 

i would advise you to wait till 2010 when rahu bhukthi is over. if divorce

moves are from the husband what can you do ? concentrate on your

prayers and profession.

 

pl chant " om namo narayaranaya " as many times as possible.

 

what was the muhurtha time ?

 

may mother bless all

 

regards

 

sasisekaran

chennai.

[luv4god]

 

"The greatness of Saturn" by Dr. Svoboda is in English. You can find it at Amazon.com

 

"Guru" is the sanskrit name for Jupiter. He represents Gurus, teachers, spiritual preceptors, enlightened beings, brahmins and all the forces of light & divine grace (especially Ganesh). He favors the color yellow or Gold and represents all things large or massive.

 

I love my Guru's description of the word "GURU". He said, "The Guru is not God. Nor is the Guru a human being. The Guru is simply the Guru, the grace bestowing power of God."

 

The sanskrit word "Guru" also means "heavy" and he not only causes physical heaviness & fat but also importance.

 

Jupiter rules the liver and sometimes people with weak Jupiter may have liver problems susceptibility to Jaundice, Cirrosis, etc. Milk thistle is particularly good for cleansing the liver.

 

Thursday is the day of the Guru. In fact the word "Thursday" comes from Celtic Mythology, literally "Thor's day" Thor being the God of thunder and similar to Indra in Vedic thought.

 

- Pablo

 

Thank you ppena ji.... your explanation is very great! thanks for tat i will definetly follow ur directions and pray to Guru .. thanks for your guidance!

[luv4god]

 

LFG,

Astrologically you are not inclined for marriage.Some how for your known/unknown reasons you got married to this person ,you may call it love.

You can save the marriage if you want by praying Mars by worshiping Lord Subrahmanya on every Tuesday.Wear red corals and Pearls chain regularly.

USR

 

Thank you ji.... is there any specific way to worship Mars? please advice on the procedure and slokams or mantras for mars pls.... Also howz marriage life for my husband..?

 

Pls advice...

[luv4god]

 

om gurubhyo namah

 

namaste

 

dear luv4god,

 

love is blind has come very well in your case. your husband's star revathi

is the 25th one from that of yours. if multilples of nine ( a requirement ) is

left out, it is the seventh star called 'naidhana' , which at all costs you

must have avoided. astrology is not a subject to be brushed aside in disbelief

because of many failed arranged marriages . many youngsters

for this reason go all out and choose their partners. a few of them end

successful. but you must understand that it is the karma that finally emerges

superior.

 

moon makes a woman a mother. if moon comes under stress it is all the

more difficult in a women's chart than in men. moreover moon is your

atmakaraka ( the most travelled planet in any house ) and the lord of

second house called kutumba sthana. affliction coming to such a planet

has manifested in you case in an important area of life.

 

rahu as dara karaka ( spouse ) is placed in soonya nakshatra from the

house of upapada ( house of marriage ). this makes a great emptiness

in the marriage. you were married in nov 2007, exactly when rahu was

transiting the upapada lagna and saturn placed seventh to it, venus,

the karaka for marriage was neecha in kanya . certainly a bad transit.

you are running rahu dasa and rahu bhukthi, which is bad. this rahu

afflicts your moon as well as seventh house ( house of relationship and

outside world that you interact ). seventh house is also aspected by

saturn and mars. the pressure on the seventh house is too much.

to add fuel to the fire, guru , the lord of seventh house is neehca.

to come out of such a problem it is certainly a herculean task.

 

i would advise you to wait till 2010 when rahu bhukthi is over. if divorce

moves are from the husband what can you do ? concentrate on your

prayers and profession.

 

pl chant " om namo narayaranaya " as many times as possible.

 

what was the muhurtha time ?

 

may mother bless all

 

regards

 

sasisekaran

chennai.

 

Namaste,

 

I clearly see that I have a lot of problem from wat u av told... now i can understand y im leading such an empty life... i av always wondered tat god cud have not given this to me if he had to take it back.... as u said my parents were scared to see our astrological match as tat will linger in their mind forever...also tat is y his mother insisted on having the wedding in the temple.. i dont knw abt my past life but in this birth i av not done too many mistakes or even a 1 big mistake that can bring me such a terrible life... i knw my pain wud go if i leave him but tat is my problem..

 

My wedding happened in Guruvayoor temple.... the time was somewhere between 10:15 am - 10:50 am.... u knw how crowded the marriages in the temple r rite.... so we cudn check the time correctly. we had to push n pull to reach the mandap and get married.

 

Sir i can surely wait until 2010 if they dont make a move for divorce. but my parents are looking to speak to him by end of this month, is tat ok? cos they r worried n my husband has not yet spoken formally to my parents abt separation.

 

Also how is married life for him? he is leading a reckless life and acting like he is nearing his end he is so reckless in everything not jus in my matters but his own life as well. but i av to tell one thing though his life is reckless he is happy abt it n enjoyin every moment like there is no tomorrow..And his mother is planning to get him married again in 2 years from now..does he have a good future and a good married life for himself with me or without me? i really dont want him to get maaried to anyone else except me... tat wud kill me/...

 

I clearly cannot live without him so im putting everything to help save this marriage and for his character he cannot find a person like me..ppl will exploit him. is there any parikaram that i have to do for myself and my husband? Pls advice!

 

Thank you

[ppena]

This native should NOT wear red coral. Mars is evil for Gemini and aspects ascendant, 7th house and lord of 7th. But worshipping Kuja on Tuesdays is acceptable.

[U.Sanjeeva Rao]

ppena,

pl check up again.Her lagna is Aries not Gemini.Don't be in a hurry to correct others.Take your own time and advice.

USR