bhaktajan Posted December 10, 2008 Report Share Posted December 10, 2008 Cow economics SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away… TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the ffice:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">United States</st1:place></st1:country-region> , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy… AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bija Posted December 20, 2008 Report Share Posted December 20, 2008 thank you very much:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narasingh Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 Nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riih.qarojamahoamaan Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 Of all the above, what is the best use? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
most fallen Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 Excellent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riih.qarojamahoamaan Posted March 11, 2009 Report Share Posted March 11, 2009 Greece before World war I you r lucky if you have 2 cows; others wish to have even one. keep them as your best helpers, to draw cart and plough, use dry dung as fuel; protect them from all danger and refrain even from drinking their milk, let the calves have it all. Greece after WW2 Your 2 cows have multiplied; kill them by crushing their head, let all blood go into the sewage, rince the meat and eat it together with cheese made from their milk. Now we r like the civilized nations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krishnadasa Posted March 16, 2009 Report Share Posted March 16, 2009 the british one was funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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