radhe_krishna Posted December 31, 2008 Report Share Posted December 31, 2008 Dear all, First of all a very Happy new year!! I started this post because one of my dear friend is really in depression. Her father is abusive and violent towards her and her mother. When she tries to stop him or argue with him and explains him not to be violent/abusive, everyone blames her for being very ill mannered. Since i am not spiritually advanced, i would like you all to suggest what should be done in a situation when one is being violent for no reason. Should the victim fight against it or should he/she suffer. If for example my friend fights or raises concern against it, would she accumulate bad karma? Thanks for your help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bija Posted December 31, 2008 Report Share Posted December 31, 2008 how old is your friend? if she is old enough, sometimes it is best to walk away... a family member may have serious issues, and mature people can see the depth of the issues to some degree. some stay and hope...some leave. in due course all involved need to heal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mahak Posted December 31, 2008 Report Share Posted December 31, 2008 Haribol. This is not easy topic, because answers by citing the Lord's version go both ways. In the case of Lord Jesus and Haridas Thakur, tolerance against great abuse was how they were moved by the Supreme Paramatma. Yet, in the case of others, like the Pandavas, the victims of great abuse were encouraged to destroy the perpetrators. The most unique case was when Lord Chaitanya was ready to kill the abusive Jagai and madhai, yet Lord Nityananda intervened in favor of the abusers, even though He (Lord Nityananda) was the victim, compelling Sri Chaitanya to spare the criminals. Spiritual action is that which is inspired by the Lord in the Heart, not moved by the mode of passion. Actions of anger are truely forbidden for all vaisnavas via instruction from Krsna to Arjuna. So the proper action against violence is to go ahead and kill the person as long as passionate anger is not involved. This is why Im against the death penalty, because though capital punishment is allowed in vedic culture. if action is carried out in anger, like the USA does it, vengeful, reprisal, retribution, etc, such things do not fit into the Vedic model of proper behavior. Only when the state is truely seeking the best result for both the victim AND the criminal, can such a thing be just. But never in capital punishment debates in the USA is "Mercy for the criminal" addressed in the act of putting him to death eve4n enters the discussion. Because the state is not vaisnava, in fact, the state is grossly avaisnava, against all good principles of religion. An abuser must be stopped. My spiritual master gave me three choices, and none of them were to kill the opponant. First, my job is to defeat his abuse with knowledge, but only a first class devotee can be so persuasiver to turn de4mons into devotees. The second option is to run away, and seek out only vaisnava association, never coming into contact with the demon again. The third option is to commit suicide, but should only be done if one cannot run away. Personally, if this was my only option left, Id kill the bastard and deal with reaction after the fact rather than commit suicide. I actually argued this point with my siksa guru, and he was not all that disturbed that I would choose to make the other guy do suicide rather than waste my life. Kinda like the george patton instruction to his troops, saying "I forbid any of you to give their life for their country. My purpose is to teach you how to make your enemy give their lives for their country." But dont hang with abusers. I knew many sisters who, out of true humility, faced brutality that they should have never faced. This kind of false humility is no good. Try to seek guidance and then act from internal instruction rather than anger and reprisal and vengeance. Wish yiou well, ys, mahaksadasa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AncientMariner Posted December 31, 2008 Report Share Posted December 31, 2008 That is a good well balanced answer to a complex and important question that I have often pondered myself Mahak. A bit off topic in regards to this girls problem and I apologize but I am coming to the belief that sometime in the not too distant future the theists of the world are going to be forced to go to battle against the government for their very survival. When Jesus was first incarnated he was not a warrior king he was a wandering mendicant preacher and his mission was to lay down his life and he did so and his fame has spread all over the globe. I view the second coming being when his followers take up a warrior stance against the government and his followers will be like the body of Christ and they will take the government back to sanity eventually. Krishna Consciousness will play a role in waking up the Christians further as well and how to run a sane government. Wether Jesus incarnates himself in that process I do not know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theist Posted January 1, 2009 Report Share Posted January 1, 2009 Dear all, First of all a very Happy new year!! I started this post because one of my dear friend is really in depression. Her father is abusive and violent towards her and her mother. When she tries to stop him or argue with him and explains him not to be violent/abusive, everyone blames her for being very ill mannered. Since i am not spiritually advanced, i would like you all to suggest what should be done in a situation when one is being violent for no reason. Should the victim fight against it or should he/she suffer. If for example my friend fights or raises concern against it, would she accumulate bad karma? Thanks for your help! Not sure where you live but in the US there are laws against violence like this in family situations. It is not tolerated though it happens all too often. Domestic violence situations like this should be reported to the police and this so-called father would end up behind bars. This idea that the man of the family can do whatever he wants to his wife is a barbaric remnant from the past. No need to become too philosophical in situations like this. Report it to the police. No, of course she will not receive bad karma for defending her mother. The father however is earning a spot in hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tirisilex Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 I agree with Theist.. Report it to the police.. Abuse is against the law.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narasingh Posted January 7, 2009 Report Share Posted January 7, 2009 Theist is right on this. Violence against a weaker person is unbecoming unless the weaker person is malicious. Violence is something necessitated in self-defense. Used offensively, it is just that, offensive. If the father is not defending his life from his wife and daughter (unlikely) perhaps he should leave the home, as a home where there is no peace is not a home at all. Follow Theist's advice and contact the authorities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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