Abandoned by husband, lost my job. Pls help

[Janaki]

Pranaams,

 

I got married in 2007. This was an arranged match by our parents, but I met, spoke and spent about 7 months before marriage getting to know my now husband. He seemed very affectionate and loving person at that time until May 2008. I had a high-paying job in US, which I quit sometime after marriage to move to my husband in a different city (in US as well).

The problems started when I moved to live with him in May 2008. His parents arrived there before I did and made my marriage extremely difficult. His parents are extremely possessive since he is the only child. They interefered in every aspect of our marriage and I had no privacy. All conversations however private would be shared with my father-in-law by my husband. Slowly, my inlaws started becoming verbally abusive towards me. I tried asking my husband for some support, but he said whatever his father said or did was right. With all this and my job loss, my father was diagnosed with cancer in India. So after getting permission from my husband and in-laws I came to visit him. After I came here, my husband called me only twice and sent me an email saying he was filing for divorce in US because of irreconcilable differences. Even when I tried calling, emailing him there has been no response. I cannot go to the US since he has cancelled my green card application and hence i dont have a visa. I know that he still loves me and I believe that his parents are forcing him to get a divorce since they do not seem to like me.

 

I am now in India without a job and abandoned by my husband. What has led to all this? Will my marriage survive? Will I be able to revive my career?

 

I am offering regular prayers to Goddess Durga and doing prayers to Sani. Please help me. I hope God will guide me through your advice on this forum.

 

My information:

DoB: 21 August, 1977

Time:6.26AM

Place: Hyderabad

 

My husband's information:

DoB: 4 November, 1973

Time: 5.30 AM

Place: Chennai

[sasisekaran_pti]

om gurubhyo namah

 

dear sow.janaki,

 

you are out of the woods. dont worry. the worst sat/rahu period is over.

just hold on till june 2009. do not hurridely sign any paper even if your

husband sends one. i will later read your chart more closely and send you

a reply.

 

regards

may mother bless all

 

sasisekaran

chennai.

[Janaki]

Dear Shri sasisekaran

 

Thank you for your kind reply. I understand that as per US divorce law, even if I dont sign these papers, my husband can get a divorce by himself. I am praying to God to give him good sense.

I await your detailed reading of our horoscope and reply.

 

Thank you.

[ramakiran3]

I dont know any thing about astrology, but really sorry for u maam.

Dont worry maam god will surely help you.

[Janaki]

thank you for your kind words, ramakiran3. Only God can help me now, I have totally surrendered to Him.

[Ayush]

Dear Janaki,

 

Sorry to hear about the incident.

I would leave the astrological analysis to sasisekaran, he is eminent in the forum.

 

Further to add on, all I can say is, look at this whole incident as a new start in your life. Why to think about the past and crib. Life is big and huge. America is also not the ultimate destination. Bad things can happen anywhere. What about your work ex in US, that can get you a great job in India, further you can always find a nice guy from any part of the world.

 

Moreover, whats not said is not said. Feelings and thoughts are worthless without expression. When he says he's asking for divorce means that's what the truth is. Doesn't matter whether he loves you or not, if he is doing that then that is the reality.

 

Get over it girl. Its difficult, but don't loose heart. This life is way too short to do the great things this world has.

 

Hope it helps.

Ayush

[sasisekaran_pti]

om gurubhyo namah

 

dear shri auysh

 

there is nothing wrong in making an attempt to read the chart.

it would only improve your understanding and analytical ability

in the subject. who knows, you may come up with a better

reading.

 

regards

 

may mother bless all

 

sasisekaran

chennai

[Soma Juice]

I am very sorry for your situation i dont know anything about astrology, but i would like to give my advice

Think this as a new beginning dont look back! this marrige was bound to end up bad.

It was best for your life that you and you husband are away from each other. A releationship must be between two person who love each other for who they are! not two person and their parents. Arrenged marrige is NEVER a happy marrige, you could learn to live with each but you will never experience true love that way.

I think it is very important you abondon your husband or you will never truly be happy but live under the will of your husband and his parents never allowing your personality to grow and evolve.

Consider the terrible things he done to you and how insensitive he is about your feelings not even helping you when you are treatet unfair! a real man always stands up for his wife and protects her! He has truely shown his true nature which is he dont care for you!

It is definitly hard breaking up with traditions but you must do it for your own good, no matter what your parents say! It is your life, not anyone elses.

 

I pray for the best and hope you will find happiness in life.

[Durgaputra]

Soma Juice,

"Arranged marriage is NEVER a happy marriage"- where do you get this one from ? More unhappiness is cause by a never ending search for romance and 'true love' than by arranged marriage. By this logic, for 1000s of years there were no happy marriages in India- something which is belied by just looking at my own parents and extended family- not to speak of society in general.

 

Janaki,

Namaskaram! I'm Very Sorry for what happened to you. At such times, it is difficult to listen to people giving all kinds of advice. Do not lose heart. Though I am just an beginner in this, I will also have a look at your horoscope. Everyone has to suffer for the results of past bad karma, but it is a very good sign that you have turned to Durga Devi. Her grace will lead to learning, wisdom and future happiness. She can reduce the even the effects of prarabdha karma.

 

 

 

I am very sorry for your situation i dont know anything about astrology, but i would like to give my advice

Think this as a new beginning dont look back! this marrige was bound to end up bad.

It was best for your life that you and you husband are away from each other. A releationship must be between two person who love each other for who they are! not two person and their parents. Arrenged marrige is NEVER a happy marrige, you could learn to live with each but you will never experience true love that way.

I think it is very important you abondon your husband or you will never truly be happy but live under the will of your husband and his parents never allowing your personality to grow and evolve.

Consider the terrible things he done to you and how insensitive he is about your feelings not even helping you when you are treatet unfair! a real man always stands up for his wife and protects her! He has truely shown his true nature which is he dont care for you!

It is definitly hard breaking up with traditions but you must do it for your own good, no matter what your parents say! It is your life, not anyone elses.

 

I pray for the best and hope you will find happiness in life.

[ShivaParvati]

I feel so sad reading all this.. were you in computer field? because if you were, I can try to get you back in USA on h1.. Pm me..

[mylilangel]

Hi,

 

I am only a learner. I tried reading your horoscopes.

I think that your house and lord of marriage are fairly strong(sply from moon lagna). I don't see a divorce happening. Though your husband's house, lord and karaka of marriage are all badly affilcted by the nodes (rahu and ketu) with no beneficial aspect. hence the problem.

 

You are currrently running saturn- jupiter dasha. Saturn is lord of your 7th house and jupiter is karaka. Except for saturn sitting in a dusthana, both saturn and jupiter are quite strong. sply the karaka jupiter sitting with a benefic venus and aspecting the 7th house as well. I would think that this period should bring some relief.

 

Your house of job and career is fairly strong as well with the yogakarka planet sitting in the 10th house from both rasi and moon lagna. 10th lord is again well disposed in both lagnas and the 10th house is only mildly afflicted by the nodes. Hence, i would think that you should not have any problem getting a job if you try.

 

I hope the stalwarts here will correct me wherever appropriate.

 

regards and best

[Janaki]

mylilangel:

Thank you so much for your analysis. I appreciate your time. I have already been looking for a job in India, I will intensify my efforts per your analysis.

Just 1 question:

I am told that I will start my Mercury dasha in 2011. How will that dasha be for me?

 

 

Ayush and somajuice:

 

Thank you for your advice. I understand your point of view. I have been going through this for 10 months now and am trying to move on with my life. Even though I consider myself today's practical woman, some part of me is rooted in Hindu philiosphy - where divorce does not exist. This combination of my values and beliefs is what is leading to my struggle to accept that this marriage is over and give up so easily. But, I appreciate your concern and good advice.

 

Durgaputra,

 

Thank you for your kind words, I look forward to reading your assessment of my horoscope. My only prayer to the Almighty Mother is that She do what is right for me. Being the Mother of this universe, I am convinced that She will only do what is best for her child.

 

ShivaParvati:

 

Thank you so much for your offer. I was in Banking, and with financial institutions in the worst shape in the US, I am not sure if it makes sense to come back to the US. Thanks anyway for your kind words.

[Coolgimmy]

Hello,

 

Your husband's chart has negative qualities. Your chart is a strong one. Its quite likely he was or will be involved in a love affair and cheated. He will obey his parent's blindly and will not care for you unless you too blindly obey his parents and do what he says.

 

Coolgimmy

[Soma Juice]

Durgaputra:

Yes i think that arrenged Mary is not a happy marrige, just look at how bad it went here? Yes you may learn to apprciate each other over time just like when you are forced to live with anybody else. But the principle behind arrenged mary is clearly egoistic from the parents side. They give away their daughter to a respectable familie in their own caste they form their daughter in their own image! i think it is a thing of past times just like caste racism. But i dont know if this is the right place to discuss this.

 

Janaki: What ever you do dont let unjust behaviour of others dictate what you do.

[Janaki]

coolgimmy:

Thanks for sharing your views. Can you tell me what planets and position in my husband's chart leads him to possess these negative qualities? Thanks again for your time.

 

Somajuice:

Your point to me is appreciated. I agree that this thread is not the place to discuss arranged marriages. But, I just wanted to make one point - even though this marriage was an arranged marriage, my parents did not force me to marry this guy. My parents compared hororscopes and sent me profiles of a lot of guys and I met with some of them before I met my husband. I decided to marry my husband because I genuinely fell in love with him after I spent 3 months getting to know him - only then did I agree to marry him.

[Soma Juice]

Okay i had kind of had an other impression of arrenged marriages, i see this is how you date in india hehe

[Coolgimmy]

Hello Janaki,

 

When u say that horoscope matching was done, then how did the astrologers allowed you to marry a mangalik when u urself is non-mangalik. Your husband is mangalik and his stars are not that good as yours. His venus is cursed in rashi chart as well he is carrying a cursed venus from his past life. Shashikaranji will analyse it in a much better way.You may have fallen in love with him, but this equation is not matched from his side as happens in arranged marriages. It cud be that he accepted you on his parent's recommendation as he had no other choice. So its quite natural that parents are his first choice whether they are right or wrong. This is the biggest demerit in arranged marriages because the love equation doesnt fit in 90% of the times and one partner has to compromise due to social or financial reasons. Money, social status, family background cannot make a couple happy if they are not compatible. I regret that I cannot hold myself back in pointing the comparisions between the two marriages, but I have seen families of people closed to me breaking up in arranged setup. If you think you love him so much that accept him with all his merits and demerits, w/o expecting too much from him like it happen 1000years back where wives were compelled to stay with their husband compromising on lot of issues due to social or financial or emotional reasons.

 

Regards.

 

Coolgimmy

[Janaki]

my understanding from my astrologers at the time of marriage was that he is not mangalik. Mars is in the 7th house but it is in its own house, therefore not mangalik. Also my astrologer told me that venus in the 3rd place is hidden, therefore it being with rahu in third house is not relevant. This is what was told to me at the time of marriage. Sasisekaranji and others who have had a chance to read the horoscope, please let me know if that interpretation is wrong. Thank you all for taking the time to analyse our horoscopes.

[Coolgimmy]

Hello Janaki,

 

As per Brihat Hora Shastra, people with Mars in some houses like 1,4,7,8,12 are considered Mangalik with the 8th house as the worst. The sage does not specify about Mars being in own house or friends house or enemy house. If the rule of Mangalik was not valid for Mars in his own house, then Lord Rama would not have been separated from Devi Sita. I have seen some charts in this forum only where Mars being in own house has caused problems to people.

 

Coolgimmy

[sasisekaran_pti]

om gurubhyo namah

 

namaste

 

dear sow.janaki and others who posted their views

 

whether someone marries after love or not, the karmic bondage will always

be seen in charts. Without it. people cannot come together to live under

one roof for a decent period. If the karmic bondage is too tight , then the

break certainly takes long time. If the bondage is loose, it breaks easily.

If the bondage too loose, it lasts for a while without a marriage, that we see

often in countries , where 'love' is accepted or encouraged. Without some

kind of bondage people never come together to 'talk' and develop relationship.

With this , if agreed , let us look into both of your charts.

 

Your atmakaraka mars is placed in his seventh house. His atmakaraka, moon is

placed in your upapada lagna ( house of marriage ). Your dara karaka sun is

placed in his lagna. His darakaraka mercury is placed in your lagna. These

placements show the primary bondage. This is why you two were brought

together in the first place. It is quite natural then for you two to interact together.

 

The problem occurs when the personal " likes or dislikes " start operating.

Especially , the 'dislikes' are never discussed in depth during the so called

one to one 'Love' life. After marriage, events bring the dislikes to the surface,

ego adds fuel to the fire and if dasas and transits help, the life is set to fire.

 

you were married in saturn dasa and rahu antar and probably in venus pratyantar.

sat/rahu is one of the bad combos, and both influence your lagna and its lord in rasi.

During moon's pratyantra the troubles started. moon has connection to UL both in

rasi and navamsa.

 

Mars if placed in 2,4, 7,8 and 12 from lagna , moon and venus is said to cause

kuja dosha. the evil is less from lagna, a little more from moon and worse from venus.

The kuja dosha is more in your case than his. The antidote for kuja dosha did not

work in the case of LORD SRI RAMA, who had mars placed in makara exalted !.

He has curses in his chart and hence he had to undergo separation.

 

Much more analysis is possible on both of your charts, but let me limit it

for the begining. It is better for you to visit his ailing father and ease out

things.

 

may mother bless all

 

regards

 

sasisekaran

chennai.

[Janaki]

Shri Sasisekaranji,

 

Thank you for your reading. Is there any remedy/prayers that I can specifically do to help unite with my husband? I have tried calling him up and emailing him, but he is not responding to anything for the past few months. Also, my father is the one diagnosed with cancer. His father is well. Infact, when I went to meet his parents (when they were briefly in India last month) they insulted and spoke very rudely to me and my parents, inspite of the fact that my father is ill. After seeing how badly they spoke to me, my parents are also very upset.

 

I would really appreciate any help and remedies you can suggest. I want to try my best in terms of my prayers to see if I can save this marriage. If finally God wills that it is otherwise, I ask for God to give me strength to accept that too. Until then I want to keep trying with patience.

 

Thank you, sir.

[sasisekaran_pti]

om gurubhyo namah

 

namaste

 

dear sow.janaki

 

sorry, that i read your previous posting with less attention. i thought

his father was ailing. we sincerely pray for your father's recovery.

your worship of SriDurga is rigth. you may observe fasting on tuesdays.

The fasting is from sunrise to sunset. You may please donate a food packet

to a needy on that day . food saved by fasting ,must be given to a needy.

 

just for analytical purpose, can you please give the date of marriage and

the exact or near about time of tying of mangalasutra ?

 

regards

 

may mother bless all

 

sasisekaran.

[Janaki]

Shri Sasisekaranji,

 

I am extremely grateful to you for the concern with which you answer my questions at this extremely trying period in my life. I pray to God that he bless you for the great service you are rendering to people like me through this forum.

 

Marriage date: Dec 6 2007; Time: 4.30-5.00am

 

I will definitely observe fast and donate food on Tuesdays. I await your further analysis, Sir.

[Coolgimmy]

Namaste Shashikaranji,

 

You have mentioned earlier that Atmakaraka in UL or 7th house shows karmic bondage. Is this bondage related to previous lives? What would be if someone's atmakaraka in his spouses is in the other houses except UL and 7th house? Do we have to look for A7 or aspects in that case?

 

Regards.

 

Coolgimmy

[Coolgimmy]

Shashikaranji,

 

In continuation to the above atmkaraka aspecting UL meets the above criteria.

 

Regards