Gandharva Marriage

[MikeMalaysia]

I know that the Gandharva marriage is a marriage between two young people who get married without their parents' consent. It is considered valid according to Manu Smriti and the Kama Sutra considers it the best kind of marriage.

 

My question is, what exactly is necessary to bring about a Gandharva marriage? I know that it isn't performed with extensive rituals, but what rituals are necessary for it? Are there any at all?This site states that the only thing necessary for a Gandharva marriage are mutual love and mutual consent.

 

My wife and I got married in New Zealand by a marriage celebrant. I was not a Hindu. She was born a Hindu but she signed a letter declaring that she believed in the Nicene Creed of Christianity right before the marriage. She had previously decided to become a Christian. However she told me a few months ago that she hadn't really believed in it. She says these kind of things often, and it's hard to know what she actually believed. Her parents were upset that we had gotten married without their consent. It was after this that we converted (well, she reverted) to Hinduism.ied. Do we fall under the category of "Gandharva marriage" even though neither of us were Hindu (most likely) at the time?

 

We have all the legal marriage documents, and the state considers us marr state that a couple are not really married until they have been through the vivaha samskara? Are we considered to be married according to the Hindu religion?

 

Are there any Hindu scripture verses that say that the Hindu marriage ceremony is necessary for a couple to be declared "married"? My wife's parents don't consider us to be married, but they know very little about Hinduism and have never read Manu Smriti. I liken it to pretending there is no law against smuggling drugs - you can pretend all you want that the law doesn't exist, but all the pretending in the world won't help you when you get caught and they put the noose round your neck (yes, that is the punishment for drug smuggling in Malaysia).

 

I have asked this question on Krishna.com's Live Help, and one devotee said that yes, we are married but we need to do the fire sacrifice. Another devotee (who was Indian and a Saivite previously) said that another marriage ceremony is not necessary. The same devotee told me at a later date that we fall under the category of the Gandharva marriage.

 

I know that this is true for ISKCON and Vaishnavism, but does Saivism accept the Gandharva marriage as well? Would they accept us as really married or would they require the vivaha samskara to be performed as if we'd never been married before? I'm asking this because I'm thinking of becoming a Saivite - IVaishnavism. I am vegetarian but I do consume onions, garlic, mushrooms a could never chant 16 rounds a day or fulfil the other requirments.I am vegetarian, but I consume onions, garlic, mushrooms and also caffeine. I don't think that sex for pleasure is wrong and I don't see a problem with buying a 1 ringgit lottery ticket. I am also devoted to Lord Ganesha (which ISKCON devotees frown upon, Prabhupada forbade the worship of Ganesha in ISKCON temples).

 

I know that an answer would be to have a Hindu wedding ceremony, but at the moment, I am not financially able to have such a ceremony. I would need to save up for a long time, and I would like my wife and I to move into our own place as soon as possible.

 

Can anyone help me out, please? If possible, can anyone give me the name of a Saivite guru to whom I can ask? Most temple pujaris here only speak Tamil.

[chandu_69]

Gandharva marriage doesnt need any rituals.I remember somebody answering in astrology forum that horoscope matching is not necessary for love marriage.

It is also said svayamvara is also a form of Gandharva marriage.

And manusmriti is'nt such a sacred thing et all it is just a set of rules Framed by manu.

It would be bring peace of mind to you and your people if you can somehow win the hearts of her parents.That may involve living the life of a simple hindu.

[MikeMalaysia]

 

Gandharva marriage doesnt need any rituals.I remember somebody answering in astrology forum that horoscope matching is not necessary for love marriage.

 

So a Hindu couple in India going to the civil registry office and getting a civil marriage would count as a Gandharva marriage in Hinduism?

 

 

It is also said svayamvara is also a form of Gandharva marriage.

What is 'svayamvara'? I'm not familiar with the term, sorry.

And manusmriti is'nt such a sacred thing et all it is just a set of rules Framed by manu.

Isn't it considered the sacred law book for Hindus?

It would be bring peace of mind to you and your people if you can somehow win the hearts of her parents.That may involve living the life of a simple hindu.

Believe me, I'm trying. They are not religious Hindus and care more about money and academic qualifications than being religious and praying.

I just want to know if the Saivites consider our marriage to be valid under Gandharva marriage terms (which is considered the best kind of marriage according to the Kama Sutra). They are simply pretending that the marriage doesn't exist. If you pretend that Barack Obama is not the President of the United States because you don't like him, that doesn't make him any less the President.

[sant]

here this site will help .

you can contact them if you want.

http://www.gandharv.com/gandharv-marriage

Method of Gandharv Marriage

The Gandharv Marriage is done through the pronunciation of adequate mantras and mutual promises for the happy marital life of the bride and groom and by the exchange of Garlands. These Garlands must be made of pure roses only or the Gandharv Marriage is not complete, also the Gandharv Marriage can not be done at night, and only at day. The Gandharv Marriage does not require the presence of any purohit (priest) as well, only the presence of the bride and groom, the knowledge of mantras and knowing of promises is required for the Gandharv Marriage

[sant]

svayamvaar is selection of marriage with garlands

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swayamvara

[MikeMalaysia]

 

here this site will help .

you can contact them if you want.

http://www.gandharv.com/gandharv-marriage

Method of Gandharv Marriage

The Gandharv Marriage is done through the pronunciation of adequate mantras and mutual promises for the happy marital life of the bride and groom and by the exchange of Garlands. These Garlands must be made of pure roses only or the Gandharv Marriage is not complete, also the Gandharv Marriage can not be done at night, and only at day. The Gandharv Marriage does not require the presence of any purohit (priest) as well, only the presence of the bride and groom, the knowledge of mantras and knowing of promises is required for the Gandharv Marriage

 

Thanks for posting the link. It disturbed me that it said mantras needed to be said. We were not Hindu at the time of marriage, so obviously we wouldn't have chanted mantras. Do couples who convert to Hinduism later in life get remarried in a Hindu ceremony? I'm sure that the Hindu religion isn't like the Eastern Orthodox Church which teaches that there is no true marriage outside of the Orthodox Church, and that converts MUST remarry in an Orthodox ceremony. Civil marriage is done in India, right?

[MikeMalaysia]

 

here this site will help .

you can contact them if you want.

http://www.gandharv.com/gandharv-marriage

Method of Gandharv Marriage

 

 

Can anyone provide me with quotes from the Sastras about Gandharva marriage? Don't bother posting the passage in Manu-Smriti where it is mentioned as I've already read that. But the information given on that site is much more extensive than what is found in the Manu Smriti, so there must be additional sastric sources for the Gandharva marriage.

[sant]

i dont know much but these people have an ashram and conduct gandharv marriages so it will be helpful if you contact them.

if you want you read about shakuntala from mahbharat you might get information there.

[melvin]

Please permit me to add something regarding this so-called Gandharva marriage. I`m familiar with the term Gandharva because it`s description of the planet where its denizens are musicians. Narada Muni in his past life as Upabarhana was a Gandharva. He was cursed by the Prajapatis for being lusty while doing kirtan in an assembly. Thus, Narada Muni became a sudra in his next life. & yet because of his association with Krsnah devotees, Narada Muni, a sudra turned out to be a great soul(mahajana) devotee and disciple of God. Maybe by associating with Krsnah devotees that both of you and wife are able to extricate yourselves from this anxiety described as Gandharva marriage.

[Kali_Upasaka]

This is not a Gandharva marriage. Please see

 

http://weddings.iloveindia.com/features/types-of-hindu-marriages.html

 

There are ever so many types of marriages in practice in Hinduism today. Some communities do not have the fire ceremony at all.

 

What can be seen from the above article is that Hinduism recognized all kinds of marriages.

 

I am sure you have some proof of having got married. And you consider yourselves to be man and wife.

 

Do not bother about the rituals or the type of marriage. You are married in the eyes of GOD. That is what is important.

 

None of the Dharmasasthras are strictly applicable in modern times. They were written long time back and reflect the social mores and norms of the times when they were written.

 

To satisfy you mentally, go to the nearest temple and exchange garlands with your wife. You can do it in any temple after informing the priest. You do not need a Guru. Temples in Tamil Nadu do it all the time.

 

GOD Bless you.

[Kali_Upasaka]

Just wanted to add a couple of things. In Tamil Nadu couples who run away and get married, go to the temple and exchange garlands in front of the deity. The groom also ties a mangal sutra. Please take a Tamil friend and talk to the priest of the local temple.

 

This procedure costs next to nothing. Only the cost of the garlands and dhakshina to the priest. Mangal sutra could be a simple one.

 

This is an accepted form of Hindu marriage.

[MikeMalaysia]

 

This is not a Gandharva marriage. Please see

 

http://weddings.iloveindia.com/features/types-of-hindu-marriages.html

 

I'm sorry, do you mean that the kind of marriage described by Sant is not a Gandharva marriage, or that my marriage to my wife is not a Gandharva marriage?

 

The site you linked to said this:

 

 

Next is Gandharva marriage, which is more like love marriage. Here the bride and the bridegroom get married secretly without the knowledge of their parents. This kind of marriage is similar to the love marriages of today's generation. It is not considered a right kind of marriage as it is done against the will of the parents so it is inferior kind of marriage. This marriage reminds us of the love affair of Sakuntala and Dusyanta.

 

My wife and I got married secretly without our parents' knowledge. I read on this site that all that is required for a Gandharva marriage is mutual love and mutual consent.

 

I am sure you have some proof of having got married. And you consider yourselves to be man and wife.

 

 

Do not bother about the rituals or the type of marriage. You are married in the eyes of GOD. That is what is important.

 

Yes, we have the marriage certificate. In fact, we have three marriage certificates - the original one from New Zealand, signed on the day of the marriage, and two copies of the Malaysian marriage certficate when we registered the marriage in Malaysia.

 

 

None of the Dharmasasthras are strictly applicable in modern times. They were written long time back and reflect the social mores and norms of the times when they were written.

 

 

I am assuming that by the Dharmasastras, you mean the Manu Smriti and other Smritis.

 

 

To satisfy you mentally, go to the nearest temple and exchange garlands with your wife. You can do it in any temple after informing the priest. You do not need a Guru. Temples in Tamil Nadu do it all the time.

 

Just wanted to add a couple of things. In Tamil Nadu couples who run away and get married, go to the temple and exchange garlands in front of the deity. The groom also ties a mangal sutra. Please take a Tamil friend and talk to the priest of the local temple.

 

This procedure costs next to nothing. Only the cost of the garlands and dhakshina to the priest. Mangal sutra could be a simple one.

 

This is an accepted form of Hindu marriage.

 

I told my wife about this, and she doesn't want to do it. She wants a big wedding. However, I only earn RM2000 per month, and it would take ages to save up enough (although I am going to buy a lottery ticket tomorrow - I prayed to Goddess Lakshmi and chanted the Lakshmi Gayatri while shaking a box with the numbers from 1 to 52, and recorded the numbers which fell out).

 

I just want to know if the civil marriage is recognized as a Gandharva marriage, since we had mutual love and mutual consent, and we did it without the knowledge of her parents.

 

Thanks for your help, Kali.

[sant]

Ive spoken to a panditji he says that mangalsutra should be offered to krisna and done infront of his idol.but ive not read this.Kali upasak is right Why do you worry you are married in your own mind and court thats alright.youre not even a hindu so why do u worry to get maried in that way.but i wil try to tel more later.you can ask a shaivite if you want but gandharv mariage is of sanatan dharm and mentioned in and it is in shaivite also im shore

[MikeMalaysia]

 

Ive spoken to a panditji he says that mangalsutra should be offered to krisna and done infront of his idol.but ive not read this.Kali upasak is right Why do you worry you are married in your own mind and court thats alright.

 

I know that we are married, but my wife's parents are trying to pretend that it doesn't exist. I want to have a defense so that I can show them that yes, we are married according to the Hindu religion.

 

 

youre not even a hindu so why do u worry to get maried in that way.

 

I am very offended by your comment. I AM A HINDU, thank you very much. I pray to Lord Ganesha. Just because I was not born in India to a Hindu family doesn't make me any less a Hindu because that is the path that I want to follow. I want to have a formal Namakarana Samskara to mark my entrance into Hinduism, but I need someone who speaks Tamil to help me on that.

 

As Srila Prabhupada stated, we are not these bodies - we are eternal spirit souls. It doesn't matter if we are Indian, Western, Asian, African - the soul inside is the same no matter which body it is in. Just like if you are driving a Toyota, or a Ford, or a Holden, or a BMW - you are the same person. It is just the car that is different. The body is like the car, and the soul is like the driver.

 

Please refrain from making such offensive comments again. And please read Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami's book How to Become a Hindu and see how conversion to Hinduism does happen.

[sant]

 

I am very offended by your comment. I AM A HINDU, thank you very much. I pray to Lord Ganesha. Just because I was not born in India to a Hindu family doesn't make me any less a Hindu because that is the path that I want to follow. I want to have a formal Namakarana Samskara to mark my entrance into Hinduism, but I need someone who speaks Tamil to help me on that.

 

 

I AM SORRY.

I APOLOGISE

I MADE A FOOLISH LINE.

I DONT MEAN TO OFFFEND YOU.

I THOUGHT YOU WERENT AS YOU HAVE SAID-

 

even though neither of us were Hindu (most likely) at the time?

 

I GUESS I JUST MISJUDGED THE LINE AND I WAS THINKING THE WHOLE WHILE YOU WERE NOT A HINDU.

IM SORRY

[sant]

Besides If You Werent A Hindu At That Time Then How Can You You Be Marrried According To Hinduism.

Hindu Isnt A Word From The Vedas.

Hindus More Likely Refers To Sanatan Dharm.

And So Everybody Excluding Mlecch Are Hindus In My Opinion.

The Word Hindu Refers To People Living In Indus Valley Near Sindhu River.

So Technically Everybody In My Country Is A Hindu.

[sant]

 

As Srila Prabhupada stated, we are not these bodies - we are eternal spirit souls. It doesn't matter if we are Indian, Western, Asian, African - the soul inside is the same no matter which body it is in. VV

SO THEN WHY DO U TAKE OFFENCE.

[MikeMalaysia]

Dear Sant,

 

It's okay. I forgive you.

 

I guess I must not have made it clear that I am a Hindu now. We weren't at the time, but we are now. Hare Krishna! Om Namah Shivayah! Jai Ganesha! Jai Subrahmanya! All glories to Goddess Mariamman!

 

From the stories that I've read on Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami's site, none of the couples who converted to Hinduism mentioned having a Hindu wedding ceremony. It would have been a big step for them and also a very new experience. But not one of them mentions it. So if we take that as a guide, then that means that couples who are already married and convert to Hinduism don't need to get remarried.

[MikeMalaysia]

Dear Sant,

 

It's okay. I forgive you.

 

I guess I must not have made it clear that I am a Hindu now. We weren't at the time, but we are now. Hare Krishna! Om Namah Shivayah! Jai Ganesha! Jai Subrahmanya! All glories to Goddess Mariamman!

 

From the stories that I've read on Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami's site, none of the couples who converted to Hinduism mentioned having a Hindu wedding ceremony. It would have been a big step for them and also a very new experience. But not one of them mentions it. So if we take that as a guide, then that means that couples who are already married and convert to Hinduism don't need to get remarried.

[sant]

thank you

 

So if we take that as a guide, then that means that couples who are already married and convert to Hinduism don't need to get remarried.

 

but you want to show your inlaw parents.

so that is why i am saying.

[chandu_69]

 

So if we take that as a guide, then that means that couples who are already married and convert to Hinduism don't need to get remarried.

 

Yes, yes and yes.You people are already wife and husband.It doesnt make any sense to go back in time.