Can a hindu boy get married with a catholic girl if he has to do ganesh chaturti ?

[sant]

 

we are still doing it. But if he get married he won't be able to do it because - people in India will criticize

- his wife won't be able to do all the dish necessary for ganesha

This will lead to the end of ganesh chaturti for us, so it will end to unhappiness and destroy of our family ..

 

 

THERES THE PROBLEM.SOCIAL STATUS, WHAT WILL THE SOCIETY WILL THINK.ASK ANY GOOD SAINT ABOUT HOW SILLY THIS IS.

AND WHAT RITES STILL I DONT GET YOU.HWAT RITES DO YOU DO AS PER THEM.

[arjun2826]

Futhermore, if he get married with her, that doesn't mean he's no more hindu. It only means his wife has another faith than him.

He can be hindu and married with somebody of other faith.. isn't he ?

[sant]

 

Futhermore, if he get married with her, that doesn't mean he's no more hindu. It only means his wife has another faith than him.

He can be hindu and married with somebody of other faith.. isn't he ?

EXACTLY

[arjun2826]

THERES THE PROBLEM.SOCIAL STATUS, WHAT WILL THE SOCIETY WILL THINK.ASK ANY GOOD SAINT ABOUT HOW SILLY THIS IS.

 

My abroad way of thinking totally share this point of view. In my opinion, it is only a social problem, not a faith problem.

 

AND WHAT RITES STILL I DONT GET YOU.HWAT RITES DO YOU DO AS PER THEM.

Ganesh chaturti is a social festival with rituals and people who come to each house and pray ganesh and help each other. If the housewife is catholic, they don't come, they exclude you, don't help you to take ganesh out the house ..

[arjun2826]

Hi empy,

 

You said :

If the final rites like cremation are to be as per sastra, a person of a different faith should not do it. It is not as per Dharma.

 

I cannot understand completely this sentence.

Sastra means "scriptures" ? right ? So, what is written in sastra, becomes your dharma, right ?

So how does it come that cremation is to be as per sastra, but not per dharma ?

Thanks

[sant]

 

Ganesh chaturti is a social festival with rituals and people who come to each house and pray ganesh and help each other. If the housewife is catholic, they don't come, they exclude you, don't help you to take ganesh out the house ..

 

SO THIS IS AGAIN THE TYPE I TOLD YOU ABOVE.

MY FATHER HAD BEEN DOING THE POOJA THIS WAY SO EVERY BODY ALSO DOES IT THIS WAY.

JUST GOOGLE GANESH CHATURTHI AND FIND OUT WHAT IS DONE ON THIS DAY.

IT IS SAID THAT PEOPLE CAN DO FAST ON THIS DAY.

DO TELL YOUR BROTHERS WIFE NOT TO HAVE ILL THOUGHTS TOWARDS THE RELIGION AS THAT MIGHT CAUSE PROBLEMS.THE WIFE IS NOT ONLY WIFE BUT DHARM WIFE ACCORDING TO SCRIPTURES.

SHE SHOILD TRY TO TAKE CARE OF INLAWS INTERESTS ALSO.

SACRIFICE SOMETIMES IS A LOT OF HELP.IT WILL BE ONLY GOOD THAT SHE IS SACRIFICING A LITTLE FOR HER HUBAND.REMEMBER THE RECENT MOVIE JODDHA AKBAR WHERE AKBAR HAD A HINDU WIFE.

 

http://hinduism.about.com/od/festivalsholidays/a/ganeshchaturthi.htm

http://www.swaminarayan.org/festivals/ganeshchaturthi/

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganesh_Chaturthi

GO THROUGH ALL

 

[arjun2826]

she agrees to sacrifice a little for her future husband and take care of in laws interest.

She agrees to do fast on this day.

The only one problem is society and parents' forbidden.

I read the link you displayed. They are very interesting. It is said in http://www.swaminarayan.org/festivals/ganeshchaturthi/:

Ganapati hence married first showing that one who obeys the wish of the choicest devotee of God or his parents attains his desired wishes.

mmmmmhhh .. don't know how to act.. seems to be so difficult. It is only a story of love between parents and girlfriend ...

[arjun2826]

Sant,

Could you please tell me what is a "dharm wife" ?

[sant]

 

Sant,

Could you please tell me what is a "dharm wife" ?

 

DHARM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dharma

SO DHARM WIFE WILL BE ONE WHO HELPS HER HUSBAND TO PERFORM DHARM.

[sant]

 

Ganapati hence married first showing that one who obeys the wish of the choicest devotee of God or his parents attains his desired wishes.

mmmmmhhh .. don't know how to act.. seems to be so difficult. It is only a story of love between parents and girlfriend ...

 

 

SEE LISTENING TO THE PARENTS IS A GOOD THING.

OFCOURSE IT IS DHARM TO LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS BUT WHEN THEY ARE WRONG THEY SHOULD BE TOLD AND YOU SHOULD SHED SOME LIGHT UPON THEM.OR YOU CAN JUST FOLLOW WHAT THEY SAY.

YOUR BROTHERS WISH.

HOWEWER REMEMBER YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR WELLWISHERS IN YOUR LIFE.THEY WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

NOBODY HAS TOLD YOU TO RUN AWAY BUT TO TALK TO YOUR PARENTS.

YOU HAVE TO REASON WITH THEM.

[sant]

Serving Your Parents Is Also Dharm a kind of penance as written in bhagwad gita.

But Here There Is An Exception Also That Your Parents Are Telling You Out Of Superstitions.

[sant]

i hope you understood

[arjun2826]

Hi Sant,

Yes, I understood. Thank you a lot for your advice. I know this inside me since few days. But it is difficult to speak with them as they are sad and they are very angry..

[arjun2826]

could you please tell me how old you are.

Are you living in india ? Because the way you talk, it seems you were brought up in a foreign country.

In India, nobody speak like this amoung my family lol

[empy]

Again sorry for the intrusion.

It is natural that Arjun finds similarities with Sant, 'cause both think they are right in interpreting scriptures/Dharma to their like.

 

At the cost of sounding bitter, I find this is the problem of Arjun 's own. He wants to marry a girl from christianity, and wants to be accepted by his parents as Hindu. Society people may accept, 'cause it doesn't affect their personal life or family.

 

Instead of debating, and trying to show the forum's opinion to your parents, why don't you try to convince your parents?

Or simply get married. Who stops you.

 

Why should Manudharma/Hindu Dharma say any thing about it, as if you are going to follow? Dharma / sciptures will not be written to your taste. They are meant for the overall welfare of the society. Keep it in mind.

 

And for your information, though you didn't ask, I say that I am an Indian, Hindu, and staying not in a foreignland, but in India, A.P.

[arjun2826]

Hi empy,

Don't be sorry for the intrusion ;-)

I am trying to understand indian an hindu culture as I was brougt up abroad with my parents and my brother.

Understanding indian point of view will help me having all elements, and understanding what is right and not, in which way God may punish us, and what must be done or not.

If you all were telling me I was wrong then I would have reconsidered my brother's choice telling him he is really wrong.

But actually, reading your arguments, I still cannot see why he couldn't keep his status of hindu if he get married with her.

And consequentely what I understand of this, is that it is only a problem of ego and shame...

Aren't I right ?

[sant]

 

Again sorry for the intrusion.

It is natural that Arjun finds similarities with Sant, 'cause both think they are right in interpreting scriptures/Dharma to their like.

 

At the cost of sounding bitter, I find this is the problem of Arjun 's own. He wants to marry a girl from christianity, and wants to be accepted by his parents as Hindu. Society people may accept, 'cause it doesn't affect their personal life or family.

 

Instead of debating, and trying to show the forum's opinion to your parents, why don't you try to convince your parents?

Or simply get married. Who stops you.

 

Why should Manudharma/Hindu Dharma say any thing about it, as if you are going to follow? Dharma / sciptures will not be written to your taste. They are meant for the overall welfare of the society. Keep it in mind.

 

And for your information, though you didn't ask, I say that I am an Indian, Hindu, and staying not in a foreignland, but in India, A.P.

 

EMPY AGAIN YOUR WRONG.

ASK ANY GREAT SOUL OR SAINT ABOUT HOW SILLY THIS IS.

IS TILL DONT KNOW WHAT SCRIPTURES SAY TAHT YOU BECOME A NON HINDU IF YOU MARRY A CATHOLIC.IF YOU FIND THE WORD HINDU IN ANY SCRIPTURE ILL BE SUPRISED.FIRST YOU DO THAT AND THEN COME.AND PASS YOUR COMMENTS.

I ASK YOU HOW DOES ONE BECOME A HINDU.

HOW DOES HE BECOME A NON HINDU.

IM NOT SAYING THAT I KNOW EVERYTHING BUT YOU GET ME ONE GREAT SOUL WHO WILL ACCEPT THEIR PARENTS REASONS AS VALID.

AS FOR MANU SCRIPTURES HAVE YOU EVN READ IT.

I HAVENT BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY SCRIPTURES SAYING DIFFERNT THINGS SO........

 

HERE READ IT I HAVENT

http://www.astrojyoti.com/manusutra.htm

JUST READING ONE SCRIPTURE WONT D OYOU MUCH GOOD.

[arjun2826]

Hi Sant,

I don't know who has written these chapters (http://www.astrojyoti.com/manusutra.htm) and how this literature is important comparing to veda. Must they both be read (smriti and veda) to understand hinduism ?

[url="http://www.astrojyoti.com/manusutra.htm"]

Anyway I read this "information" in chapter II :

18. The custom handed down in regular succession (since time immemorial) among the (four chief) castes (varna) and the mixed (races) of that country, is called the conduct of virtuous men.

Who are the "mixed races" ? Does it mean that smriti accepts mixed race union ? I don't understand. Can anyone help ?

[arjun2826]

Empy, Sant,

to summarize :

 

1- I agree with you Empy, that ancestral scripture don't deal with mixed faith union (or maybe yes if looking my previous post, but this is to be confirmed) because they were written before catholicism.

 

2- A hindu marrying a catholic doesn't become a catholic in Sant and even my point of view. Empy says the contrary, but there is no proof for this as the 1st point. In this case, I don't understand how Empy can be so sure.

 

3- Indian people are much more in communitee than indian who live in foreign country (for example US England, switzerland.. )

Consequentely, when indian people are brougt up in a foreign country, they don't belong to the hindu communitee as indian from india. They do react then differently than local indian (for example love marriage is better than arranged, for example, children once they became adult, live allways in a seperate house than their parent...). From this discreapancy in societies (indian and foreign), in traditions, a gap comes in values, reactions, manners, opinion and identity.

This doesn't mean that foreign indian are bad or don't respect local indian traditions. It only means that they are different, not much bad, not much better.

And our parent are taken into a trap in this situation. They want their children to be happy sure in the foreign country where they live, and they want there children to be consistent with local indian culture in terms of marriage, religion, rituals...

 

4- only speaking with parents can resolve the problem by trying to convince them.

Sant confirmed that there was a no ha written related to this topic in hindu scriptures, right.

Furthermore, man should not run away, but fight difficulties. This is his dharma (?).

Anyway, it is very hard to fight opinion of your own parent, when you know that this make them sad and scared (ganesh chaturti, cremation..)

[empy]

 

Empy, Sant,

to summarize :

 

 

 

2- A hindu marrying a catholic doesn't become a catholic in Sant and even my point of view. Empy says the contrary, but there is no proof for this as the 1st point. In this case, I don't understand how Empy can be so sure.

 

3- Indian people are much more in communitee than indian who live in foreign country (for example US England, switzerland.. )

Consequentely, when indian people are brougt up in a foreign country, they don't belong to the hindu communitee as indian from india. They do react then differently than local indian (for example love marriage is better than arranged, for example, children once they became adult, live allways in a seperate house than their parent...). From this discreapancy in societies (indian and foreign), in traditions, a gap comes in values, reactions, manners, opinion and identity.

This doesn't mean that foreign indian are bad or don't respect local indian traditions. It only means that they are different, not much bad, not much better.

And our parent are taken into a trap in this situation. They want their children to be happy sure in the foreign country where they live, and they want there children to be consistent with local indian culture in terms of marriage, religion, rituals...

 

4- only speaking with parents can resolve the problem by trying to convince them.

Sant confirmed that there was a no ha written related to this topic in hindu scriptures, right.

Furthermore, man should not run away, but fight difficulties. This is his dharma (?).

Anyway, it is very hard to fight opinion of your own parent, when you know that this make them sad and scared (ganesh chaturti, cremation..)

 

 

 

My answer is,

A Hindu marrying a catholic will not become a catholic. Even the catholic church has their own rituals to accept you in to christianity. That you live a happier life with you beloved is sure. No where did I say that you become a catholoic.

So when even the other faith doesn't accept you as their member, how can the girl be accepted as a hindu? Simple common sense dear! You are accepted as a couple, that's all.

Point 3:

Just because you are born and brought up in a foreign country doesn't

mean that you should not follow Hinduism, and its rich culural heriage. Some tradtions look superstitious in these days. They may be outdated, like your parents.

But, still you respect your parents, and they follow the smrutis. Then respect their opinions.

But still you can decide on your life partner.

 

Reg point 3&4.

Is it needless to convince your parents?

Their objection is not to the marriage, but to observing the ganesh chauth, and cremation procedures. They say you are in eligible. They are right.

Let the girl be converted in to hinduism, then may be your actions of continuing the ganesh puja, and attending to cremation , be accepted.

 

Every parent, besides wishing for the welfare of their progeny, also wishes that their progeny carries their rich family traditions, and the hindu cultural heriage ,to be passed on to the the next generations. I think this will suffice for now.

[sant]

arjun this is stupid empy please dont come with your silly advises .

theres nothing written arjun.

and as for manu smriti it is not followed now in that way i think.atleas ive not come across many..

you can if you wnat.

empy if there actually is a ritual to convert into hinduism then kindly share.

[arjun2826]

Empy,

"So when even the other faith doesn't accept you as their member, how can the girl be accepted as a hindu? "

My brother doesn't want her to be converted to hinduism. Futhermore, in my remembering, it seems to be impossible to convert hinduism as you are born hindu, you don't become hindu. Maybe I am wrong saying this. Please confirm.

 

"Just because you are born and brought up in a foreign country doesn't

mean that you should not follow Hinduism, and its rich culural heriage."

Sure, but I have never said that. Futhermore, we WANT to follow Hinduism (and do ganesh... ). But my parents say that if he get married with her girlfriend, it will be impossible (i don't understand why).

 

"They may be outdated, like your parents."

What do you mean by this ?

 

"But, still you respect your parents, and they follow the smrutis. Then respect their opinions. But still you can decide on your life partner."

It seems you say one thing and its contrary in your point of view.. Sorry, but I connot understand.

 

"Let the girl be converted in to hinduism"

Why should she convert to hinduism ? She aggrees to practices hindu rituals for the welfare of her husband (if they get married), so why should she convert herself ? This doesn't make sense.

 

"Every parent, besides wishing for the welfare of their progeny, also wishes that their progeny carries their rich family traditions, and the hindu cultural heriage"

I totally aggree.

[empy]

"They may be outdated, like your parents."

What do you mean by this ?

 

I mean the traditions may be out dated,like your parents' opinions..

 

But, still you respect your parents, and they follow the smrutis. Then respect their opinions. But still you can decide on your life partner."

It seems you say one thing and its contrary in your point of view.. Sorry, but I connot understand

 

You can respect your parents' opinions, and on the other hand you can also get married to the girl of your choice. The objection comes when you have to observe the Ganesh chauth, and other hindu rituals. No where, me or I suppose your parents object to the marriage. It is only after marriage, that certain hindu rituals, done by a non conformist to hinduism ,may not find approval with your parents.Thats all.

 

Yes, you can go ahead with the marriage,and convince your parents later on if you think you can.

I assure you, I won't interfer once again.

good luck

[arjun2826]

ok, anyway thanks for your both advice Sant and Empy.

good luck to you all

[Haridasdasdas]

This thread pretty much sums up everything that is wrong in people's attitude to religion.

 

What is this rubbish that this man cannot do some Ganesh ritual because his wife is Catholic? If the people saying this cannot provide scriptural basis for their wild and outlandish claims, then forget it.

 

If Ganesh hated non-Hindus, would He be worth worshipping? All these differences are man made. Aligning yourself with a particular group means very little.