Guest guest Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 Respected Gurubhai's, JAI GURUDEV, Before marriage,I was regular in my Guru Mantra chanting and Tratak meditation.I have also accomplised some of the mantra sadhanas. Unfortunately,yes I mean,I got married in 2004 and facing lots of problems in Guru mantra chanting and in my spiritual life as my wife is not comportable with my spiritual ideas and practices.Moreover I have a child.It also become a problem to maintain celibacy. Dear Gurubhai,please advise me.Both marriage life and spiritualism are important.How should I achieve balance and harmony ? What are your suggestions regarding spiritual practices for married men,i.e.,unfortunate men like me. Please help. Avtar Singh Chandigarh(India). Get the freedom to save as many mails as you wish. To know how, go to http://help./l/in//mail/mail/tools/tools-08.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 22, 2007 Report Share Posted October 22, 2007 Hi, Good to see you have reached out for help. here is what I would like to point out. A woman would always want a safe life, and would not be comfortable if she sees you are going too deep in spiritual worlds, and one day might leave her, and go to Himalayas ... !! What you have raised, is a common problem, most of Gurubhais must have faced, and I am frank here, I also faced. Celibacy need to be maintained, if you are doing some anushathan, or some sadhana etc. It need not be done completely like a Brahmachari. Obeviously after marriage you have that restriction. You will have to take your wife in confidence, best is to get her also a Gurudiksha, and both of you chant Gurumantra. But it would take some time for her to develope that devotion, to reachout to take Diksha. So be patient, only time has a solution for this problem. I would suggest, take a break, go out to some nice places around, let her know, how much her husband loves her, this will generate confidence in her, this will help you over a period of time. Do not hurry, spend some time with family, wife, unless you get support from your family you won't be successful in the spiritual world either. If you are thinking, marriage is putting limitations / restrictions on your spiritual progress, and probably leaving everything is the way.... YOU ARE MISTAKEN. There are lots of problems for Sansayi too. For married people, its just little slow down for first 1-2 years immediately after marriage, but once you take her in confidence, you will see, she is the GREAT supporter for your spiritual progress in life. Wife always want to see her husband grow. What she needs is life long support, and commitment thats all, once she is assured that you will not let her un attended, and in case you have to go for small duration, you will make all the arrangements for her safty etc, then you will see, how she supports, and help you in all way throughout life !! Look in the history, all the rishis have married, and had a life long companian for themselves. Its a great advantage to have someone always available to look after you. Hope this helps. regards, Anand avtar singh <avtar_450 Sent: Thursday, October 18, 2007 7:25:01 PM problem after marriage Respected Gurubhai's,JAI GURUDEV,Before marriage,I was regular in my Guru Mantrachanting and Tratak meditation.I have also accomplisedsome of the mantra sadhanas.Unfortunately, yes I mean,I got married in 2004 andfacing lots of problems in Guru mantra chanting and inmy spiritual life as my wife is not comportable withmy spiritual ideas and practices.Moreover I have achild.It also become a problem to maintain celibacy.Dear Gurubhai,please advise me.Both marriage lifeand spiritualism are important.How should I achievebalance and harmony ?What are your suggestions regarding spiritualpractices for married men,i.e.,unfortunat e men likeme.Please help.Avtar SinghChandigarh(India) .Get the freedom to save as many mails as you wish. To know how, go to http://help. / l/in// mail/mail/ tools/tools- 08.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2007 Report Share Posted October 23, 2007 $)CI think you should give equal time to your family as sadhana. For ex. if you do early morning sadhana , give evening time to family. But you should not stop doing sadhana. I think every family member has this problem :-)----- wrote: ----- From: avtar singh <avtar_450Sent by: Date: 10/18/2007 06:55AM problem after marriageRespected Gurubhai's,JAI GURUDEV, Before marriage,I was regular in my Guru Mantrachanting and Tratak meditation.I have also accomplisedsome of the mantra sadhanas. Unfortunately,yes I mean,I got married in 2004 andfacing lots of problems in Guru mantra chanting and inmy spiritual life as my wife is not comportable withmy spiritual ideas and practices.Moreover I have achild.It also become a problem to maintain celibacy. Dear Gurubhai,please advise me.Both marriage lifeand spiritualism are important.How should I achievebalance and harmony ? What are your suggestions regarding spiritualpractices for married men,i.e.,unfortunate men likeme. Please help.Avtar SinghChandigarh(India). Get the freedom to save as many mails as you wish. To know how, go to http://help./l/in//mail/mail/tools/tools-08.htmlJay Gurudev Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2007 Report Share Posted October 23, 2007 Listen You are married. You have got obligations to her also. If you wanted to be celibate, why in the hell did you get married? Everything needs to be in balance. We all have material desires and they need to be fulfilled. You can work on your spiritual development and fulfill your and your wife's desires in marriage. If you don't have a good family environment, it is difficult to focus on sadhana. Remember, balance is the key. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2007 Report Share Posted October 24, 2007 Hello Avtar, Sadhanas always have an effect on your surroundings because they are sound vibrations. And some mantras depending on their type might send their effect as far as 10 Yojanas (130 Kilometres), eventhough the Sadhak might be reciting silently. This is because the combination of wavelenghts of the mantras changes the frequency of your recitation and they lose the limitations of time and space which is the case in ordinary sound. Though you are affecting your surroundings in good positive ways there are demonic and negative entities everywhere. These entities will try to create obstructions in your sadhana by inspiring thoughts into those around you to stop your sadhana. Also sometimes the people around you are fixed in their habits and are hesitant to change for the better, because of inner fears. If you are experiencing such problems, to deal with them it is very essential to request protection regularly by making samkalpa before your Guru mantra recitation. The scriptures say worship is wasted without samkalpa. It is true the Guru knows every thing but the Guru also wants you to show your devotion by making a samkalpa. Normally the Guru mantra also acts as a kavacha, depending on your level of surrender to the Guru. Complete surrender to the Guru requires total submission of the soul with absolutely zero ego. This can take time to develop in the beginning, unless the guru wants you to experience other things as well such as a karmic cleansing or building a deeper connection with your Ishta Devata. If it is karmic then nothing can help you until that karma is cleared either through experiencing it, sadhana or grace of Guru. In the last case of Ishta Devata, you must wear the Kavacha of your Ishta Devata. Most Devatas' Kavachas can be found online. Two websites I know are: http://sanskritdocuments.org and http://www.prapatti.com. I would also like to suggest that the scriptures also mention to propitate Ganapati before all worship to remove obstacles. To do this the mantra " Om Guum Ganapataye Namah " is very effective. Just one round a day will help in removing all obstacles and integrating your consciousness and sadhana into oneness, which is especially useful when you are regularly experiencing obstacles. However, my suggestion is to use a different mala for this and any other offhand mantras to keep your Guru Mantra Mala only for that purpose. This is because over time, when the Guru Mantra Mala is used only for that purpose, just by touching it you will feel a deeper connection to the Guru. As for your comment that Married men are unfortunate. This is incorrect because all sadhana has only one main and ultimate purpose which is to free Kundalini Shakti and raise it to Sahasrara. Whether you perform the sadhana to get a job, meet a diety etc, all these are simply the effects that are needed to free your Pure Shakti from the fears and bindings of the world. Of course they are being done in the physical world but the indirect goal of all sadhana is always the raising of Kundalini to Sahasrara. Now this does not mean your Kundalini would immediately rise after each sadhana. Though as you get deeper into the sadhanas you will begin to feel effects such as bliss, peace, control and joy in your life even when you have very little material possessions, etc. These are the initial manifestations of Kundalini. Very few people take the path of directly raising Maha-Kunalini Shakti from Muladhara and most who attempt that will die immediately due to the terror She creates. Sannyassins attempt to do this by taking a vow of staying away from sex but majority of them might take many lifetimes to even slightly stir Kundalini in Muladhara because they don't even know why they are Sannyassins. In fact a true Rishi can have sex with his wife during Sadhana and his Sadhana would be unaffected because he has complete Vairagya and because he would have total control over his kundalini due to which it will never fall due to physical ejaculation by loss of semen or even mental ejaculation in the mind. The point I was getting at is sex and marriage are not a hindrance to sadhana provided they are done in a controlled manner. There is a technique you can use to control your ejaculations so that you retain your semen always during sex and this is known as Moola Bandha. In the west it has been popularized as Kegel Exercises. Provided it is not done excessively, it is ok and is being done millions across the world these days. Just practicing it for a few minutes everyday will help you to last longer during sex and eventually to completely eliminate the need for ejaculation. This way it is possible to have sex and orgasm and keep your shakti within yourself. Remember many Rishis in Vedic days used to have sex but they never ejaculated unless they wanted to have a child. And when they wanted to do that they would astrologically select an auspicious moment for it so that the child would be of the kind they wanted. Now what happens in most cases these days is when people have sex is they ejaculate and lose their shakti. Then their sadhana becomes difficult because how can you perform sadhana when you have no shakti to transmute in your body and raise up your Sushumna Nadi so it can travel towards Sahasrara. So the key is not celibacy, sannyass etc. (though they each have their specific reasons when and why they should be done) but keeping and building your Shakti. Of course for ordinary persons who have not reached the level of Vairagya like the Rishis, celibacy is suggested during sadhana because the person must have 100% control and not let his shakti down even mentally for a few moments. In fact simply keeping and building your Shakti will by itself eliminate obstacles for you. This is because Shakti is intelligent by Herself since She is the very creative force of the whole universe. But the main thing is to keep Her with you. Forget marriage, even most single people don't do it these days. Every time a guy looks at a beautiful girl's picture(and vice versa for girls) or watches movies and spends time gazing at them, he is releasing his Shakti through his eyes. If he even spends time thinking about other girls, he is releasing Shakti mentally. And of course every time he sits down for sadhana after that he will simply be playing catch-up with the last time. This is why Vairagya is so important and celibacy during sadhana is just a tool for it (not the goal because you are a part of the Param Aatman as much as every thing in the Param Aatman is a part of you). Either way best of luck. Regards, Sol , avtar singh <avtar_450 wrote: > > Respected Gurubhai's, > > JAI GURUDEV, > > Before marriage,I was regular in my Guru Mantra > chanting and Tratak meditation.I have also accomplised > some of the mantra sadhanas. > Unfortunately,yes I mean,I got married in 2004 and > facing lots of problems in Guru mantra chanting and in > my spiritual life as my wife is not comportable with > my spiritual ideas and practices.Moreover I have a > child.It also become a problem to maintain celibacy. > Dear Gurubhai,please advise me.Both marriage life > and spiritualism are important.How should I achieve > balance and harmony ? > What are your suggestions regarding spiritual > practices for married men,i.e.,unfortunate men like > me. > > Please help. > > > Avtar Singh > Chandigarh(India). > > > > > Get the freedom to save as many mails as you wish. To know how, go to http://help./l/in//mail/mail/tools/tools-08.html > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 26, 2007 Report Share Posted October 26, 2007 very good article to share and beutifully explained thank you very much for the knowledge regards shashi , " Sol " <solamrita wrote: > > Hello Avtar, > > Sadhanas always have an effect on your surroundings because they are > sound vibrations. And some mantras depending on their type might send > their effect as far as 10 Yojanas (130 Kilometres), eventhough the > Sadhak might be reciting silently. This is because the combination of > wavelenghts of the mantras changes the frequency of your recitation > and they lose the limitations of time and space which is the case in > ordinary sound. > > Though you are affecting your surroundings in good positive ways > there are demonic and negative entities everywhere. These entities > will try to create obstructions in your sadhana by inspiring thoughts > into those around you to stop your sadhana. Also sometimes the people > around you are fixed in their habits and are hesitant to change for > the better, because of inner fears. > > If you are experiencing such problems, to deal with them it is very > essential to request protection regularly by making samkalpa before > your Guru mantra recitation. The scriptures say worship is wasted > without samkalpa. It is true the Guru knows every thing but the Guru > also wants you to show your devotion by making a samkalpa. Normally > the Guru mantra also acts as a kavacha, depending on your level of > surrender to the Guru. Complete surrender to the Guru requires total > submission of the soul with absolutely zero ego. This can take time > to develop in the beginning, unless the guru wants you to experience > other things as well such as a karmic cleansing or building a deeper > connection with your Ishta Devata. If it is karmic then nothing can > help you until that karma is cleared either through experiencing it, > sadhana or grace of Guru. In the last case of Ishta Devata, you must > wear the Kavacha of your Ishta Devata. Most Devatas' Kavachas can be > found online. Two websites I know are: http://sanskritdocuments.org > and http://www.prapatti.com. > > I would also like to suggest that the scriptures also mention to > propitate Ganapati before all worship to remove obstacles. To do this > the mantra " Om Guum Ganapataye Namah " is very effective. Just one > round a day will help in removing all obstacles and integrating your > consciousness and sadhana into oneness, which is especially useful > when you are regularly experiencing obstacles. However, my suggestion > is to use a different mala for this and any other offhand mantras to > keep your Guru Mantra Mala only for that purpose. This is because > over time, when the Guru Mantra Mala is used only for that purpose, > just by touching it you will feel a deeper connection to the Guru. > > As for your comment that Married men are unfortunate. This is > incorrect because all sadhana has only one main and ultimate purpose > which is to free Kundalini Shakti and raise it to Sahasrara. Whether > you perform the sadhana to get a job, meet a diety etc, all these are > simply the effects that are needed to free your Pure Shakti from the > fears and bindings of the world. Of course they are being done in the > physical world but the indirect goal of all sadhana is always the > raising of Kundalini to Sahasrara. Now this does not mean your > Kundalini would immediately rise after each sadhana. Though as you > get deeper into the sadhanas you will begin to feel effects such as > bliss, peace, control and joy in your life even when you have very > little material possessions, etc. These are the initial > manifestations of Kundalini. > > Very few people take the path of directly raising Maha-Kunalini > Shakti from Muladhara and most who attempt that will die immediately > due to the terror She creates. Sannyassins attempt to do this by > taking a vow of staying away from sex but majority of them might take > many lifetimes to even slightly stir Kundalini in Muladhara because > they don't even know why they are Sannyassins. In fact a true Rishi > can have sex with his wife during Sadhana and his Sadhana would be > unaffected because he has complete Vairagya and because he would have > total control over his kundalini due to which it will never fall due > to physical ejaculation by loss of semen or even mental ejaculation > in the mind. > > The point I was getting at is sex and marriage are not a hindrance to > sadhana provided they are done in a controlled manner. There is a > technique you can use to control your ejaculations so that you retain > your semen always during sex and this is known as Moola Bandha. In > the west it has been popularized as Kegel Exercises. Provided it is > not done excessively, it is ok and is being done millions across the > world these days. Just practicing it for a few minutes everyday will > help you to last longer during sex and eventually to completely > eliminate the need for ejaculation. This way it is possible to have > sex and orgasm and keep your shakti within yourself. Remember many > Rishis in Vedic days used to have sex but they never ejaculated > unless they wanted to have a child. And when they wanted to do that > they would astrologically select an auspicious moment for it so that > the child would be of the kind they wanted. > > Now what happens in most cases these days is when people have sex is > they ejaculate and lose their shakti. Then their sadhana becomes > difficult because how can you perform sadhana when you have no shakti > to transmute in your body and raise up your Sushumna Nadi so it can > travel towards Sahasrara. So the key is not celibacy, sannyass etc. > (though they each have their specific reasons when and why they > should be done) but keeping and building your Shakti. Of course for > ordinary persons who have not reached the level of Vairagya like the > Rishis, celibacy is suggested during sadhana because the person must > have 100% control and not let his shakti down even mentally for a few > moments. > > In fact simply keeping and building your Shakti will by itself > eliminate obstacles for you. This is because Shakti is intelligent by > Herself since She is the very creative force of the whole universe. > But the main thing is to keep Her with you. Forget marriage, even > most single people don't do it these days. Every time a guy looks at > a beautiful girl's picture(and vice versa for girls) or watches > movies and spends time gazing at them, he is releasing his Shakti > through his eyes. If he even spends time thinking about other girls, > he is releasing Shakti mentally. And of course every time he sits > down for sadhana after that he will simply be playing catch-up with > the last time. This is why Vairagya is so important and celibacy > during sadhana is just a tool for it (not the goal because you are a > part of the Param Aatman as much as every thing in the Param Aatman > is a part of you). > > Either way best of luck. > > Regards, > Sol > > > , avtar singh <avtar_450@> wrote: > > > > Respected Gurubhai's, > > > > JAI GURUDEV, > > > > Before marriage,I was regular in my Guru Mantra > > chanting and Tratak meditation.I have also accomplised > > some of the mantra sadhanas. > > Unfortunately,yes I mean,I got married in 2004 and > > facing lots of problems in Guru mantra chanting and in > > my spiritual life as my wife is not comportable with > > my spiritual ideas and practices.Moreover I have a > > child.It also become a problem to maintain celibacy. > > Dear Gurubhai,please advise me.Both marriage life > > and spiritualism are important.How should I achieve > > balance and harmony ? > > What are your suggestions regarding spiritual > > practices for married men,i.e.,unfortunate men like > > me. > > > > Please help. > > > > > > Avtar Singh > > Chandigarh(India). > > > > > > > > > > Get the freedom to save as many mails as you wish. To know > how, go to > http://help./l/in//mail/mail/tools/tools-08.html > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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