When is it possible to help?

[Guest guest]

Dear brothers & sisters

 

I had some shocking news last night & would welcome your thoughts on

the subject. I would be grateful of your opinions from a spiritual

perspective - when is it possible to help someone & when is it

sensible to just turn & walk away?

 

A friend & myself teach a yoga class at a gym. Yesterday I was warned

by someone against the gym manager, but since I dont like to listen

to 'gossip' I thanked the person & said I would look into it further

& make my own mind up. I searched on the internet & discovered this

man is on the sex offenders register, served 6 years in prison for

serious violent sexual assault, and then after he came out was given

a suspended prison sentence for 2 counts of assault. All the victims

were women & were all women he was in relationships with.

 

Part of me feels compelled to walk away, never go back & ignore any

contact he tries to make with me. I feel shocked & sickened. He had 6

years inside to become a changed man & turn it around, but he came

out & inflicted violence on women again. Another part of me wants to

reach out & help, show him the power of spirituality, meditation,

forgiveness, karma..... or am I just being naieve?

 

With love

 

Farah

[Guest guest]

> years inside to become a changed man & turn it around, but he came

> out & inflicted violence on women again. Another part of me wants to

> reach out & help, show him the power of spirituality, meditation,

> forgiveness, karma..... or am I just being naieve?

 

One of the myth of spirituality is: You can change others, & bring

them to the correct path, by showing them love, people are nice inside

etc etc.

 

Its a myth- as a person only changes when he/she wants to, not when

forced from outside.

 

When Vivekanand was asked how we can make the world a peaceful place,

he said the only way was if everyone meditated & changed themself,

instead of wasting so much energy trying to change others.

 

A famous poet wrote (forgot who):

 

What do you want with Saints?

What do you want with theives?

First look at yourself,

why worry about others?

 

PS- This was the spiritual answer. The other is, learn Karate!

[Guest guest]

, shanracer <no_reply wrote:

 

I agree here with shanracer.

 

There is only one person in the Universe whom I can

change ...and that is me !!!

 

Sometimes this desire to help may come as our ego game, where at

subtle level we think ourselves superior to other and we try to help

him....and anyone falling in this trap is really in trouble.

 

I tried this thing many times and each time I really got very

bitter lessons...and finally i understood we cant change anyone but

ourselves.

 

The desire to help others also comes in us, when System wishes us

to help a person. That way we will be forced to enter his life and

help him. In that case, we will actually not be doing it

consciously out of love, but out of compulsions due to circumstances.

 

The best help to such persons would be...to keep away from

them... and if a desire comes to help.... we can send spiritual

energies to him mentally wishing him to change.

 

 

 

AUM

[Guest guest]

Humble Obeisances! Here I would like to state when the danger is personified in

practical, all spiritual weapons, ways and means will be useless/futile. With

the help of students, fellow ones, management and law of the land, protest /

rebuke in such a manner and in such a mercyless way, that such tormentor would

not dare to do any bad thing even in his own dream. Heartful Regards. Keshav.

 

janfarah_strongspirit <janfarah_strongspirit wrote: Dear

brothers & sisters

 

A friend & myself teach a yoga class at a gym. Yesterday I was warned

[Guest guest]

, " Aum " <beirut_ka_baba wrote:

>

 

>

>

> There is only one person in the Universe whom I can

> change ...and that is me !!!

>

>

Thankyou for your responses dear brothers

 

So where do we draw the line? Dont we come on this site to share,

learn, discuss, help? I know this man I mentioned is an extreme case,

but how can I be sure I wasn't meant to help? I must say that 90% of

me is sure to walk away, but that last 10% is saying Farah, have

compassion. How can I be sure? Maybe I was meant to bring some peace -

he was already saying he was planning on trying yoga & had already

downloaded a book on pranayama. Its like watching a seedling sprout -

should I help water it, or leave it to fend for itself? I try to see

the good in people...

 

With love

 

Farah

[Guest guest]

, " janfarah_strongspirit "

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Farah!

 

Salam Walekum!

 

I read somewhere the following - After reading this maybe it will

help you to decide whether you water the plant or leave it to grow

by itself. The story goes - on the bank of a river one saint saw a

scorpion struggling for life in water. He therefore put his hand in

water to save the scorpion and it bit him and in the struggle which

ensued it again fell into the water. Again the saint repeated the

act and scorpion did likewise. This went on for a while and the

disciple of the saint who was watching all this questioned the

saint on his peculiar behaviour - to which the saint replied - my

nature is to help those in distress and scorpions nature is to bite

those who come near it. I am following my nature and scorpion is

following its nature.

 

With warm regards

Sudhakar

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

<janfarah_strongspirit wrote:

>

> , " Aum " <beirut_ka_baba@> wrote:

> >

>

> >

> >

> > There is only one person in the Universe whom I can

> > change ...and that is me !!!

> >

> >

> Thankyou for your responses dear brothers

>

> So where do we draw the line? Dont we come on this site to share,

> learn, discuss, help? I know this man I mentioned is an extreme

case,

> but how can I be sure I wasn't meant to help? I must say that 90%

of

> me is sure to walk away, but that last 10% is saying Farah, have

> compassion. How can I be sure? Maybe I was meant to bring some

peace -

> he was already saying he was planning on trying yoga & had already

> downloaded a book on pranayama. Its like watching a seedling

sprout -

> should I help water it, or leave it to fend for itself? I try to

see

> the good in people...

>

> With love

>

> Farah

>

[Guest guest]

, " janfarah_strongspirit "

<janfarah_strongspirit wrote:

>

> So where do we draw the line? Dont we come on this site to share,

> learn, discuss, help? I know this man I mentioned is an extreme

case,

> but how can I be sure I wasn't meant to help? I must say that 90%

 

Dear Farah,

 

You anxiety is very natural, as in the beginning stages of

spiritual progress we are not able to make out, if our desire is

that of our ego, or of the Universal System.... i too become

confused sometime on this.

 

There are two ways... one is to take all your desires to be those of

the Universal system and go ahead. BUT in that case do not later

blame the system, if you become the next victim...take that too as

for System. This is very difficult though and is only adviseable

for very higher souls. Like Angulimaal dacoit...who so ever reached

him, he would cut their fingers and make a garland. But when Buddha

met him...he fell down on his feet and became a Monk... SO Have we

become a Buddha to help others ????

 

Our spiritual progress is now in a sapling stage...and as a sapling

it must be protected from animals, children, hot and cold weather.

When the tiny plant becomes big tree, it would not need protection.

 

If he is sincerely interested in knowing spirituality (and is not

doing this to impress you...which most of such negative energies do

before the attack)...then keep him away physically. give him some

sadhna and tell him OK do this pranyama and dhyana for one year and

meet me only when you have finished this. If he sincerely does the

sadhna and comes back to you after a year...he is a genuine person.

(but my intuition says he will not )

 

You will be the best judge...but you have to be very cruel

towards yourself..while analysing and see if it is your feeling of

being superior, which is coming as kindness...or it is some

satisfication of ego that i am going to change a person...which is

coming out as compassion.

 

On the path of spirituality, the biggest enemies are our own

faults, which disguise as Love, compassion etc.

 

In the beginning days of my sadhna, I lost many things

including my precious energies in trying to improve certain

personalities... who in the end removed the mask of being in love or

in friendship and left me poor both energetically, emotionally, and

economically..

 

With love

 

AUM

[Guest guest]

> So where do we draw the line? Dont we come on this site to share,

> learn, discuss, help? I know this man I mentioned is an extreme

 

Farahji, I will tell a story. Once 2 men fell into a deep ditch. One

got angry & started crying. The other one said " Dont worry, I am meant

to help you. I will help you out of the ditch! "

 

A frog also sitting there started laughing loudly. The 2 men were

surprised. The frog said, " first you yourself get out of the ditch,

then talk about helping others! "

 

Only an Enlightened Sage can help others. If you want to help others,

the best way is to become enlightened yourself.

 

There is a Higher Force then you & me that works to help people become

spiriutally advanced. Who are we to decide who's to be helped? There

are hundreds of advanced souls(even in this Kaliyug) who can go into

Samadhi & contact the Spirit at will. When we reach that level, only

then can we talk about helping others.

 

love

Shantnu

[Guest guest]

, " janfarah_strongspirit "

<janfarah_strongspirit wrote:

 

 

Dear Farah, If I were you, I would forget helping anyone at this stage

and would look for a spiritually advanced person to help me further on

my spiritual journey.

 

Ansuya

[Guest guest]

, " Aum " <beirut_ka_baba wrote:

>

 

>

> If he is sincerely interested in knowing spirituality (and is not

> doing this to impress you...which most of such negative energies do

> before the attack)...then keep him away physically.

 

 

Dear brothers & sisters

 

Thankyou for your responses to this, it has been really helpful. I

also really liked the 2 stories, which put it across so clearly,

thankyou.

 

I have given this some serious thought & have decided to definitely

100% walk away from this. This man's spiritual journey is not my

responsibility & God only knows what he has in store for the next few

chapters of his life, but I would not like to be a part of it. I

think Aum you raised a good point about his sincerity & after

contemplating, I dont think his interest in spiritual matters, yoga

or pranayama were genuine, but rather his way of trying to get 'in

with me' for other reasons. I can only thank God I was able to find

out soon & 'nip it in the bud.' I do try to see the good in people &

I do wish him lots of love & luck in whatever he does - but that

dosn't mean I have to be around him & get entangled in his possible

negative behaviour & negative energy. I have myself to think about.

 

With many thanks for your insight into this

Wishing you much love & good wishes

 

Farah