Silence and Choice

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SILENCE AND CHOICE

 

One of the goals of silent meditation is to discover and connect with

our inner state of being. Our inner state is complex, has many levels

and is ever changing. When we first begin our inner journey, our

first encounter is with our mundane thoughts: about what we have to

do, our plans for the day, our opinions about what we are doing at

the moment.

 

I remember my first attempt at " meditation " which must have been

about 1973-4. I had been practicing hatha yoga daily for 3-4 years. I

decided I would sit still for a few minutes after my asanas. Wow.

What an effort that was to actually sit " still " for the eternity of

three minutes! I certainly wasn't still and my mind certainly wasn't

silent. But I did sit there for three minutes and that was a great

accomplishment for me at that time. I was very pleased with myself

for actually attempting this heretofore impossible feat. The point is

we have to start sometime and somewhere. Sometime could be now. And

somewhere is where we are at at this moment. Needless to say I have

made a lot of progress since that first day, but it has taken a long

time and I am still at it.

 

Meditation is the tool for getting in touch with what is really

happening inside our psyche, beyond the flow of thoughts that

initially clutter our inner terrain. One of the things I have

discovered is that there are many things going on and they are often

contradictory. I can feel happy and sad at the same time. I can

access feelings of anger and detachment simultaneously. I notice that

I am both afraid and excited. There is an inner anxiety that seems to

be a curtain that covers a dynamic peace.

 

I have drawn two simple conclusions from all of this. (1) This is the

way things are, within me and in the universe. Realities that appear

to be opposites or even conflictual exist simultaneously. (2) At

every moment I am at choice. I can choose which reality I wish to

give my attention to. It is as simple as making a choice. Sometimes

making specific choices is difficult. In making choices I have

learned that useing the touchstone--what will make me happy, more

peaceful and feel good-- facilitates my decision-making process.

 

I have found out that making one decision and letting it guide my

life is a good strategy. Here is my most dramatic example. I remember

when I first started getting up for Sadhana (morning meditation and

yoga). In the ashram I had to get up at 2:50am (!!) to get to the

Sadhana room at 3:45am. Those were cold, dark winter days in Boston.

I was living in a cabin that was much colder than my warm bed. I

realized that if I were to make the decision " to get up or not to get

up " each morning, I would subject myself to unbearable torture on a

daily basis. So when I was feeling good, I made the decision ONCE to

get up at this " divine " hour. For years, I never had to make that

decision again. And that is my secret. That is how I did it. I turned

off my mind and my feelings as much as I could when the alarm went

off and got out of bed. After the cold shower, it was all downhill

for the rest of the day.

 

The point is sometimes we need to make an all-encompassing choice

that will guide our daily choices. Because there will always be

pressing reasons and valid excuses to distract us from our spiritual

practice.

 

There is a myth that when we meditate, we can stop our minds and tune

into this place of inner bliss. Yogi Bhajan tells us that the mind

processes 1000 thoughts at the wink of an eye. So don't even consider

stopping your mind. We can however change channels. I find that the

trick to meditation is finding the right channel and being able to

stay there for a while or at least long enough to experience that

there is something else going on and that we do in fact have a choice

of where we can operate from. The trick is to integrate these

realities.

 

We can know all of the above intellectually. And the concepts are

probably familiar to many of us. The real challenge is to experience

in your own meditation the existence of the different feelings and

realities in your psyche and body. This is the goal of silent

meditation at this point in your process. Get in touch with the

agitation, the fear, the impatience and the anger. Also get in touch

with the peace, the contentment, the ability to be detached and not

react and the desire to simply be.

 

It is the actual experience of the different energies within you that

will allow you to make a choice between the two. It will also allow

you to use the energies that initially appear as " bad " for action,

energy and motivation. It is the acceptance and honoring of all our

energies that is the energetic foundation of self-love.

 

SUBJECT: WHAT WILL YOU CHOOSE?

 

Two people sent me this story. It is related to our lesson and if

fact inspired me to write it today.

 

READ THIS. LET IT REALLY SINK IN...THEN CHOOSE HOW YOU START YOUR DAY

TOMORROW...

 

Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good

mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask

him how he was doing, he would reply, " If I were any better, I would

be twins! " He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a

bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the

positive side of the situation.

 

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to

Michael and asked him, " I don't get it! You can't be a positive

person all of the time. How do you do it? " Michael replied, " Each

morning I wake up and say to myself, Mike you have two choices today.

You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad

mood. I choose to be in a good mood.

 

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can

choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time

someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their

complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose

the positive side of life. "

 

" Yeah, right, it's not that easy, " I protested. " Yes, it is, " Michael

said. " Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk,

every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations.

You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a

good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live

life. "

 

I reflected on what Michael said. Soon thereafter, I left the Tower

Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought

about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

 

Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious

accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18

hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released

from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw Michael about

six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he

replied. " If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars? "

 

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through

his mind as the accident took place. " The first thing that went

through my mind was the well-being of my soon to be born daughter, "

Michael replied. " Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I

had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I

chose to live. "

 

" Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness? " I asked. Michael

continued, " ...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was

going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the

expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really

scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.' I knew I needed to

take action. "

 

" What did you do? " I asked. " Well, there was a big burly nurse

shouting questions at me, " said Michael. " She asked if I was allergic

to anything. 'Yes, I replied. " The doctors and nurses stopped working

as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and

yelled, " Gravity. "

 

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on

me as if I am alive, not dead'. " Michael lived, not just due to the

skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I

learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

 

(Source: kundalini yogaclasses.html )