Coping with negativity

[Guest guest]

You only have to pick a newspaper to realise the world is in a

horrendous state. It is easy to become negative. If I want to become

negative I can find 1001 reasons to be so. If I allow all these

factors to influence me then yes, it is as if 1000 guns were pointed

at my head, so I feel extremely negative. Another factor is the

people I am surrounded by; it is very easy to become influenced by

their negativity. I may be influenced by people that I work with and

sometimes it is their negativity attacking me, then it becomes

difficult to maintain my balance, lightness and happiness because of

their negative reactions and responses to everything, or it could be

my negative response towards them. I might not like the way they talk

to me or look at me, so there is a gradual build-up of feelings of

being pressured from all directions. So how do I escape?

Even if I were to escape, there will be another deep realisation -

that the problem is not actually the world outside or the people I am

with. If I spend a few moments in honest reflection I realise that

whatever is going on inside of me is the root of my negativity. This

probably won't bring joy or lightness and may even cause feelings of

depression or heaviness because it means I have realised that the

negativity is coming from inside. How do I cope with it?

 

The condition of the world is horrific but it will change. After the

darkness, the light will come; night has to turn into day. This will

happen in the passage of time; I cannot force the day to come, I

cannot force the pace of it, so I learn to be a detached observer. I

can be part of the movements that will bring the day and not allow

things to affect my own inner state of consciousness.

 

This requires a bit of experimentation. I can draw on analogy here:

an actor plays a role on stage and is totally involved in all that is

going on. Someone in the audience is aware of everything on the stage

also, but has a different state of consciousness. I have to learn to

be both in this game of life - I have to be an actor and an observer.

I have to be able to step aside and look at things from a distance.

This will bring faith and confidence in the fact that the darkness of

night will pass and the light of day will come.

 

What about the negativity of other people? I know that if I am

affected by the negativity of other people then I am going to be

plunged into the cycle of actions, reactions and responses over which

I have no control. But if I see them, hear them, respect them as

human beings and individuals and I understand their point of view, I

will not let myself be moved from my position of inner stability.

 

I can develop the art of detachment, being friend and yet not

allowing them to touch me. I can draw on another analogy here. Think

of the image of a lotus flower. It is found in dirty, stagnant water

yet the lotus has a waxy substance on its petals and nothing can

touch the surface; the dirt just rolls off. I can create that layer

of protection so my inner purity and stability remain unaffected by

outside influences. Otherwise I become a puppet of circumstances and

situations that others have created and I am no longer a master of my

own feelings and destiny. I learn to have this protection through the

experience of detachment and the awareness of God and this will bring

a canopy of blessings. This canopy will influence myself and others

around me.

 

If I want to create an environment of peace and love around me, my

response of negativity towards anyone becomes extremely uncomfortable

for me. Everyone has enormous value; I just have to have the right

vision to be able to see it. When I start appreciating their value, I

will realise the negativity is my own. Yes, they do things in a

different way from me but there has to be variety, so let me

appreciate that. I cannot change them or control them; what I can do

is change my attitude and my responses. If I continue to have the

vision of love and respect for them I know that through this there is

a very good possibility that I can influence them and help them in

their changing process. So, I must not allow this build-up of

negativity to destroy communication; otherwise, walls will build up

which will be difficult to sort out later on.

 

Perhaps the most difficult thing for me to come to terms with is, the

negativity I feel about myself. I see my weaknesses; I see the

difficulties I have created; I see the emotional debts I have

accumulated and I wonder how it is ever going to be possible to deal

with all of this. If I lose hope, things will become difficult.

Firstly I must see the cause and what needs to be done, and look at

the future so I can prevent things from happening; then I take

precautions so that it will not happen again.

 

When I recognise myself as an eternal soul, I alter my vision of

myself completely. I come back to the realisation of my own original

form and feel the divine being that I truly am, and hope returns. If

I spend a few minutes in silence each day, just letting my mind

become detached from all the other things that it's usually caught up

in, then I can value who I truly am. As this stage grows, the

influence of this lasts longer each day. As I develop this awareness

of self respect and self esteem and I move outside the cycle of

negativity, I make sure my vision, words and actions show this

esteem. It is expressed in value and respect for others and from them

I get the same response back. Only when I am generating my own self-

respect within, can I earn respect from others. I learn to accept

positivity and reject negativity.

 

Even one individual, who comes into this awareness of making things

positive, of learning to deal with things in a positive way, makes a

great difference. The heaviness of the world has come about because

of the accumulation of all our negative thoughts and actions and the

only way we can transform is through the power of positivity. This

enables us to bring about change, firstly in our environment,

workplace, family and home which will inevitably reach out and change

society. I have to bring light into the world. This way darkness will

not be able to influence me and I will be able to help remove the

darkness of others.