The Mirror

[Guest guest]

One of the hardest things is to see yourself as you really are. A

most telling way to see yourself is through the eyes of others. Watch

how they respond to you. This mirror image will not be totally

objective because they will colour it with their own patterns. The

same applies to their reflection from you. We learn about ourselves

by relating to each other. Problems in relationships are due to

emotional turbulence. Waves of conflict reflect from one to the other

and meet in the middle like a storm in a teacup. One upsets the

other. The one upset reacts through fear or pride. The whole thing

escalates and builds up with each reflection.

 

To find calmness, avoid speaking from fear or ego. It is easy to say

but hard to do. We seek to control each other to avoid humiliation

and prevent those things we fear. Most of us tell lies or play games.

Seeing this is a step on the way to a more peaceful life. You cannot

expect to overcome fear and ego totally because you are a 'shadow

being' (a reflection in the mirror of consciousness).

 

Fear and ego are two sides of the same coin. They exist because your

body desires to live forever. Evolution has programmed it this way.

Fear can affect the toughest of people. For example, a soldier who

has experienced battle might be afraid of public speaking. Violence

and other extreme control patterns often spring from an attempt to

cover up an inner fear, if only of loss of face.

 

When criticised, we feel a need to justify ourselves. This sets off

reflections. It is hard for the ego to take criticism without

reacting. We feel smaller in the eyes of others, less loveable or

more vulnerable. When you get into an argument, try to see your own

motive. Imagine that it is somebody else going through it. Learn from

criticism whenever possible. If it is undeserved, why bother to

defend yourself? On the other hand, it is better not to be judgmental

and critical. To progress, learn to take it and avoid dishing it out.

(I hope I'm reading this!)

 

I realise now that I am still the frightened child I always was. I

felt the fears of my parents even in the womb. Life has taught me new

fears. I have led my life in fear. We all do, more than we realise.

This is why spiritual teachers say we should live in the present

moment. There is no tomorrow, only today endlessly recycled. If you

are OK now, why worry? Imagination can be a valuable attribute but it

comes with a price tag - fear. In the same way, the price of love is

rejection. I feel the pain but fail to see the lesson, the ever-

present silver lining above the endless storm.

 

In the heat of the moment, think before you speak. In conflict,

analyse whether you speak from love or fear. All men and women have

fears. Some deal with it better than others do. Some cover it up

better. Fear can be a motivation for controlling others. We control

people we are afraid of losing. In doing so we bring about the very

situation we dread. Possessive love can sometimes seem like hatred

and often leads to it.

 

The true self is beyond ego. I would love to find it but the way is

not easy. I notice how problems start when I talk about my fears to

those involved in them. My face reflects back unhappily in the mirror

of their eyes. Fear is contagious and damaging. I need to think

before I express the feelings it inspires. Be direct. Name the fear

to yourself rather than talk of it endlessly to others.

 

There is always something beyond fear. Death is just a release back

into the light of the infinite, the end of a session in the game. If

someone you love wishes to leave, why hang on? You can do no more

than give love for love. The past never really existed and the

present is ever changing. The good times are still happening.

Something new will always turn up. Be nostalgic for future pleasures.

We may not get what we want but we always get what we need.

 

Each object in the universe creates its own space in the physical

sense. All people in relationships create a joint space in a

metaphorical sense. A home is a space like any other. What you do in

your space becomes part of the fabric of its meaning. What do you put

into the meaning of your space? Is it a place of ease, of joy, of

beauty? What we do in our spaces adds to the 'emotional ambience'. An

unhappy house will carry that memory and its influence for ages to

come. Happiness can overwrite unhappiness - given a chance.

 

Conversations are a mirror. You speak; they reply. Life is the mirror

you have fashioned to look at yourself; exploit it. Look into the

light. What does it tell you? Do you see truth or people playing

games? You are not what you appear to be. You are a remote game

player in a very realistic simulator, a virtual reality. Loss of face

means nothing if you have integrity. Conflict happens 'outside'. You

live 'inside', safe and secure in the ever-loving infinite.

 

What should you do if you do not like your life? Fight it, struggle

and the pattern grows stronger. Accept it and ask the light for a

solution. You cannot change the pattern so change yourself. People,

systems, organisations, governments, businesses - they treat you

badly. Keep the peace - bide your time. Do your best to be

straightforward and patient and, eventually, the tide will turn in

your favour. Your unconscious mind has created all this for a reason.

Put yourself on the other side of the mirror. Be the watcher not the

watched. If you play them at their own game, you will never be free

of the shadow. If you duck out now, the pattern will return in

another way. You will never be free.

 

The spirit grows in meaning as your light reflects from other people,

from the life of this planet and from the entire universe. You seek

to know your place in the pattern of universal consciousness. You are

a universal mirror for other people. We see ourselves reflected in

each other. I try to put out light but some people see me as gullible

and naive. They 'take me for a ride' if they can. It happens quite

often. They would not do this if they could see the effect on their

infinite selves. In terms of the universal game, these petty

victories simply prolong their stagnation in the darkness. Humility

is of the light but humiliation is a shadow, an illusion. Humbling

experiences teaches. In the end, all deception is self-deception.

 

I am nothing. I do not even exist. My physical being is just a

pattern of space and time. Fate is mere co-incidence, a flight into

the face of belief. Co-incidence is part of the illusion, a clue from

the dreamer to the dreamt. It is as unhelpful to be over positive as

it is to be fatalistic. Find balance, look to the centre where all is

calm. What is past is past. The legions of embarrassment are not a

reality. The past has gone. It was just an echo in an empty room.

Things can change. Be patient. Be trusting. Make the most of

opportunities that arise but do not play games to change things.

Accept help but do not use people.

 

If you are unhappy in your work, are you doing your best? Are you

giving value for money? Are you involved in other people's power

games? Are you out of work? Are you creating a spirit worthy of a

being of light? Think of your true role as a player in a

sophisticated virtual reality game. Are you making enlightened moves

or are you only appearing to? What sort of luck are you cooking up?

The secret is not to play good games. It is to play no games at all.

Live by the principles of light. The evil we do lives on as shadows

in the soul. The light seeks it out and creates illuminating

experience. We learn, we grow and, sometimes, we appear to suffer.

There is no injustice - only learning.

 

The path to enlightenment is not about the self. It is very tempting

to think that we can enlighten ourselves. We can only seek to

enlighten others. What we do for others reflects back to us. Helping

others to help yourself diminishes the achievement. (If you are going

to be sincere, you might as well mean it.) Serve for the sake of

serving. We are not real. We do not exist. Spirit is the only true

reality. What we are is infinitely greater than what we appear to be.

Each one of us is no more than a reflection of all the races of

humanity and all the species of life. What are you reflecting? Are

you the object, the image or the mirror?

 

Why live up to the expectations of others? There is a difference

between being somebody and appearing to be somebody. Reputation is no

proof of integrity. If you are content with what you are, why let

others spoil it with false ambition? Whose respect is more important

than your own? Are you really doing the best you can? You are in a

game well worth the winning. The desire to improve the character can

open all sorts of interesting doors. The real game is inside. All the

fame and fortune in the world will be worthless if you do not grow in

spirit. Do not limit your possibilities. Take care of the details and

the big picture will look after itself.

 

Most games of strategy rely on the other person responding in a

predictable way. Some people are very good at 'pressing the buttons'

that upset you. Do you reward them by giving them what they expect?

Try stepping outside the game altogether. Be original. Understand

each other. Desire an enlightened solution. Seek compromise. Can

anybody really win an argument? Is it so wonderful to have a rigid

mind that is unchangeable?

 

Do not pressure people that are upset. If there is something you need

to know, they will tell you in their own time. It may seem that you

are scoring points when you get the advantage of somebody else but

remember your score card in the universal game. Forget what you have

to lose and remember what you have to gain. Enlightenment is more

than just a win on a lottery.

 

All too often, I am disillusioned with myself. The word 'dis-

illusion' is interesting. It means disappointment. It can also mean

to strip away illusion to see the reality beneath the surface.

Disillusionment with oneself is painful. It is also a necessary step

towards enlightenment. I am the sum total of my experiences. My

comfort is that the whole is usually greater than the sum of the

parts. After all, the spirit is infinite. We are all on the journey

across a foreign landscape (life's experience). We navigate by making

our choices but we are not to blame for the route. We are all in the

dark together. We share collective responsibility for creating the

scenery.

 

Enlightenment is not something we can achieve by setting management

objectives. I find it sad that politicians are no longer interested

in 'Civilisation'. They speak of family values in the hope that this

will solve their problems cheaply. The spirit of love is absent from

their policies. The smokescreen of morality is less significant than

personal integrity and honesty. We all know that politics is a game.

We will never trust politicians as long as they play it.

 

I have looked into the mirror and been appalled by what I have seen.

Now I must learn to put out into the universe what I would like to

find in myself. Enlightenment is the destiny of us all. No one can

buy it or possess it. Enlightenment is not something we can force,

something to do. It is a gradual unfolding of understanding - of

seeing ourselves as we truly are and then realising that we are not

that at all. We are infinite beings in disguise.