Winning an Argument

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When you enter into an argument with another, what is it that you

hope to gain? If you enter into a heated debate with someone else,

you must realize that there are more than the two entities involved.

 

There are the two participating in the verbal exchange and there are

the two silent observers; the spirits or souls (*Seers) of the

bodies.

 

For the egos, there are four possible outcomes of the engagement,

win, lose, compromise or stalemate. For spirit there it is a win/win

episode. The only purpose of the argument for the soul is to

experience the physical manifestation of an argument and to elevate

it to a higher level of understanding.

 

Although the end result for either of the participants may be to win

the argument by getting what they want, they are actually losing if

they have not been true to themselves (spirit) by elevating the other

to a higher level of understanding.

 

Compromise is seen by many as losing. However, that is not the case.

Compromise elevates the outcome of the debate to a higher level for

both parties. When you give someone the opportunity to lose in an

argument you are degrading yourself and you have moved into a

destructive state of mind. Because you have no control over how the

other thinks or feels, he may come out the winner even though you

believe you won the argument. What you have done is missed the

opportunity to elevate yourself to a higher level of awareness and

understanding by not raising your opponent's position. It is the

natural flow of all beings to move to a higher level of enlightenment

or evolution. If that end has not been part of your agenda in the

argument, you have simply missed the opportunity. The other may have

this awareness and would not see losing the argument as detrimental

to his/her own evolution, therefore becoming the actual winner in the

disagreement. You may think you have won, but you have really failed

in being true to spirit.

 

Your case or argument would work better for you if in trying to get

your point across; you helped the other to understand rather than

give in or walk away. When you help another you are really helping

yourself by being true to the part of you that helps others - you

raise your spirit to a place that knows itself as helping. This does

not mean that you give in or give up your position, but you gain much

more. All interactions with others are opportunities for you to

evolve and become more than what you are now. Every person comes

bearing a gift for you whether you see it or not. You must know that

without this argument you will have missed an opportunity to declare

who you really are, and that is the greatest gift another can give to

you - that is the unseen present. The chance to be present, alive,

and declare yourself as this or that, and it is all your soul

desires.

 

On the flip side, one could also argue that by not giving an

opportunity for your opponent to elevate himself you are being true

to yourself as a person who does not help or care. So you would be

consistent with how you see yourself and declaring yourself as such.

This however, does not elevate or enlighten you and is inconsistent

with spirit. Every missed opportunity to declare yourself as helpful

leaves you farther behind in your own evolution if you see yourself

as helpful or caring.

 

The true winners in any argument are those who have compromised and

allowed the other to understand and see their point without leaving

them wounded. Your opponent also becomes a new ally in your thought

process and gains a new respect for you and your opinions. This

brings more validity to your argument, snd your soul has exercised

its purpose.

 

From any given perspective everyone is either " right " or " wrong " and

the truth is that " right " and " wrong " are very poor quality words and

are never accurate as they are judgmental. There is really only that

which " works " and " does not work. " If you are " right " then someone

else has to be " wrong, " and that does not work for either one of you.

 

In order for an argument to occur, there has to be consent between

all parties. So in that sense, both parties are getting what they

want. However, the argument does not have to be about winning or

losing. Both come away elevated when they feel they have both

contributed to a positive outcome. And for the spirit - its purpose

has been served.

 

Author Resource:- Roy is a resident of British Columbia, Canada. An

international published author, a student of NLP, spiritual

philosopher, New Age Light Worker, Teacher and Phenomenologist