HER GRACE - Bhakti

[Guest guest]

Dear Devi Jana bandhus recently I read this article and thought of

sharing it with you all

BHAKTI

shrii Aadi Sshankara says in saundaryalaharii that even to worship HER

one needs HER grace! He says that in the very first verse which ends

with this exclamation katham akR^ita punyaH prabhavatI. It is very true.

I always ask HER ask her, \bt unnai thuthikkavum unnaruL vEndum enRaal

ennai nOvathaal enna payan thaayE? \et Sometimes I get so much

frustrated that I think I should throw away all my mundane stupid

ambitions and become a priest in a small ambaaL kovil and worship HER

all the time. But I realize that it is my mediocrity prevents me from

going closer to HER.

I recently read in the book " Way of a Pilgrim " that we do not love GOD

at all! Imagine if you are in love with a girl, you think about HER

all the time. When I was in teens, I have wept out of emotion for

girl's love many a nights before going to sleep. I think if I have

fraction of that longing for MOTHER, I would have been lot better. As

Ramakrishna says, worldly men are hypocrites. They talk in a flowery

languages about GOD, but there mind like a house fly buzzing around

gutters, goes after lust and greed! When I read these things I feel

sad, I ask HER, mother why have you made me like this. Why don't you

give me pure devotion and make my mind clean. But the past tendencies

as habit haunts me. Mind has become a gutter (chaakkadai) and I suffer

binding myself with the mind. Lust, greed, pride, anger and sloth

delude me and take me away from HER.

I think we should not think very negatively about our faults, instead

a positive action would do a lot good. What benefit does one get by

calling oneself " sinner " again and again! I am the prince of this

Cosmos. My MOTHER is the one who commands everything. Then why should

I be scared of the worldly snares. I shall not! All the troubles we

face is due to our false identification with mind and body.

God likes us to talk to HER. Do we rehearse when we speak to our

mother or when we speak to a child? No! We don't! Best is to talk to

GOD straight! Well I can talk and tell my problems and all I desire

for. But to listen to HER is very very difficult! Meditation is the

way, that is what the great ones say! am trying to meditate. It is

funny that the 30 minutes I meditate looks like a year to me. That

shows how little I love God! When I was in love with a girl, even a

day will pass like a second, when I was thinking about her. I do not

know when I will long for the blissful reunion with my MOTHER, like a

lover longs for his beloved, as a drowning man longs for air and a

miser longs for money! Till then this world is hell. Yet my mediocrity

makes me to tolerate this hell instead of seeking HER lotus feet which

is many billion times more blissful than the turiya state! All I can

say is " Meenaakshii! HAVE MERCY ON ME "